Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

If you're raising a tween or teen in a world of social media, smartphones, and AI, this conversation is for you.

How do you protect your kid from the psychological harms of today's digital world (disturbing content, social media, and AI) without pushing them away or damaging the relationship you've worked so hard to build with them? That's the question at the heart of this special episode of Ask Lisa.

Live from the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour sits down with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, award-winning physician, researcher, and California's inaugural Surgeon General, for a conversation that will genuinely change how you think about your kid and their devices. Together, they bring decades of clinical expertise and hard-won parenting experience to the questions families are struggling with most right now around tech and their kids.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- Why what kids see online can rewire their developing nervous systems (and what parents can do about it right now)

- The one thing you should say to your tween or teen before they ever go online 

- How to set a phone contract that's tied to developmental readiness, not just age (and what to say when your kid isn’t ready)

- Why teaching kids to recognize algorithm manipulation is more powerful than any parental control

- The questions that keep conversation open when your teen encounters disturbing content, appearance pressure, or harmful online trends

- What parents of kids who have experienced adverse childhood experiences need to know about AI risks for kids and algorithm-driven platforms

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the digital world your kid is growing up in, this conversation will leave you feeling more grounded, more equipped, and even closer to your teen.
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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say.

In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen friend drama and give you the tools to help your kid through it.

Whether your child has been dumped by a friend group, is dealing with a mean "friend," or needs help exiting a friendship that isn't working, this “Best of Ask Lisa” episode is for you.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict in middle school, and why it matters for how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so anxious about belonging, and why some kids turn to meanness

- Why excluding and rumor-spreading are common weapons in friend group drama

- Why kids get excluded from friend groups, and how to explain it to your child in a way that helps them take it less personally

- Practical, compassionate things to say and do when your tween or teen is hurting

All full episodes featured in this compilation are linked below:

185. How Should My Son Deal with Trash-Talking Friends?

166. My Kid is Being Bullied. What Should I Do?

194. How Do I Help My Daughter Get Past an Ugly Rumor?

249. When Teasing Turns Toxic, What’s a Parent to Do?

71. My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

84. How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship?

156. Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

98. My Friends' Kids Are Excluding My Kid. What Should I Do?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

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Is your teen obsessed with their appearance? Spending hours in front of the mirror, constantly taking selfies, and seeking validation for their looks? In a world where social media turns appearance into currency, building your teen's self-esteem on a stronger foundation has never been more important.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into a letter from a parent whose 14-year-old daughter’s world has started to revolve around how she looks. So when does preoccupation with appearance cross the line into something worth addressing?

Dr. Lisa breaks it all down, including what to say, what not to say, and how to gently guide your teen toward a stronger, more grounded sense of self.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The key sign that tells you appearance focus has gone from typical to concerning

- Dr. Lisa’s "lakes and tributaries" framework to build lasting teen self-esteem

- How to help your kid see their worth goes far beyond how they look

- The four Rs for setting limits around what your teen posts on social media

- What Dr. Lisa actually says when someone compliments her daughter's looks in public

Whether your child is a tween just becoming aware of her appearance or a teen deep in the selfie spiral, this episode will leave you with concrete language, helpful frameworks, and a clearer sense of how to talk to your teen about looks.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

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You check your phone and your teen's location is off again. Are they okay? Are they hiding something? …And should you even be tracking them in the first place?

In this week's episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dig into one of the most common standoffs happening in homes with teenagers right now: location sharing. A dad writes in about his 16-year-old son, who has started turning off his location. The kid wants privacy and autonomy. The dad just wants to sleep at night. Who’s right here?

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- What tracking your teen is really about: peace of mind or safety?

- What's really going on psychologically when teens turn off their location

- How to have an honest, non-combative conversation with your teen about location sharing

- Practical compromises that protect your sanity without damaging your relationship

We'd love to hear from you: Are you currently tracking your teen? And how are they handling it?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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If your teen texts "I want to unalive myself" or "kms," should you be worried?

The frightening topic of teen suicide is made worse by confusing headlines, evolving slang, and the fear of saying the wrong thing. But here's what you need to know: the research is cautiously hopeful, you have more power than you think, and asking direct questions saves lives.

In this essential episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan sit down with Dr. Jonathan B. Singer, one of the country's leading experts on youth suicide prevention to hear what parents need to know right now.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The real warning signs to watch for

- How to ask your child directly about thoughts of self-harm or suicide

- The difference between normal sadness and clinical depression

- When to seek help

- How to use AI tools like ChatGPT safely as a parent resource

This is a conversation every parent of a tween or teen needs to hear to move from fear and confusion to clarity and action.

________________

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Episode keywords: teen suicide prevention, teen suicide warning signs, how to talk to teen about suicide, youth suicide rates, teen suicidal thoughts what to do, teen says they're a burden, overachiever teen depression, perfectionist teen mental health, how to ask if teen is suicidal, what causes teen suicide, recognizing suicidal teen

Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

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Is your teen too obsessed with their girlfriend or boyfriend? Constant texting, ditching friends, and living on their phone. Perhaps you're watching them disappear into this relationship and you don't know what to do.

If you're worried your teen's relationship is too intense and wondering how to talk to them about healthy balance without pushing them away, this episode is for you.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan tackle a question from a mom whose high school son is texting his girlfriend 24/7, barely seeing his friends anymore, and disappearing onto what Lisa calls a "relationship island." Sound familiar?

If you're wondering how to manage your teen's dating relationship without making things worse, or you're seeing your teen losing friends because of their relationship, this episode is for you.

💡 IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

- Why today's teen relationships are more consuming than the ones we had

- The real danger: Why teen isolation from friends is the biggest risk

- Where you actually have power as a parent

- The #1 mistake that backfires every time

- What to say (and NOT say) when the relationship ends and your teen is devastated

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Episode keywords: teen relationship too intense, teenage son has girlfriend, teen spending too much time with girlfriend, teen ignoring friends for girlfriend, how to talk to teen about intense relationship, teen relationship healthy balance, high school relationship advice, teen losing friends because of relationship, teen constant texting girlfriend, managing teen dating relationships

Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

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Is your teen’s snark just “normal attitude”… or could it be something more serious?

If you’re walking on eggshells around a constantly irritable, sarcastic teenager and wondering whether this is just adolescence or a red flag not to ignore, you’re not alone. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, Dr. Lisa Damour helps parents make sense of the exhausting, confusing reality of teen snark and explains when it may actually be a sign of depression that needs real attention.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience working with adolescents and families, Dr. Lisa breaks down why depression often looks very different in teens than it does in adults, and how easy it is to miss when irritability gets written off as “typical teen behavior.” Alongside co-host Reena Ninan, she offers clear, grounded guidance for parents who are worried, worn down, and unsure what to do next.

💡 YOU’LL LEARN:

- Why teen depression often shows up as snark, hostility, and irritability

- How to tell the difference between normal teen attitude and mood changes that are concerning

- How phone use and sleep deprivation and can worsen or mimic depression

- Why meaningful busyness and structure can improve mood and reduce irritability

- When it’s important not to “wait it out” and move toward professional evaluation and support

If you’re dealing with a snarky teenager, this episode will help you feel more confident, informed, and grounded in your next steps—while keeping your teen’s long-term wellbeing front and center.

________________

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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What would YOU do if you discovered your tween or teen was reading explicit fan fiction online?

Today’s kids are often learning about sexuality through the internet, often long before parents realize it. How you respond can either shut down communication or open the door to thoughtful, values-based conversations that actually stick.

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan tackle a question many parents are asking: Should we be worried about our kids reading explicit fan fiction? 

💡 YOU’LL LEARN:

- Why reading explicit fan fiction can be a common, developmentally typical form of exploration

- How to talk with your teen about sexual content without shaming or lecturing

- How to share your family’s values around healthy intimacy in ways teens can hear

- When (and how) to set boundaries without damaging trust

- The surprising upsides of fan fiction

If you’re feeling confused, uneasy, or unsure about what your kid is encountering online, this episode offers calm, practical guidance to help you stay connected and parent with confidence.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Episode keywords: teens, fan fiction, explicit content, family communication, online safety, romantasy

Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

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What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn’t matter because they’re definitely going to be an influencer?

If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and isolating when your kid’s ambitions seem disconnected from reality.

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan respond to a parent letter about a tween absolutely convinced of their future influencer fame, while academic failure and emotional strain mount at home. They unpack what’s normal, what’s concerning, and how parents can respond without crushing their child’s dreams or losing their relationship.

💡 YOU’LL LEARN:

- Why disengaging from school is a serious red flag- How brain development shapes tween and teen thinking about work, fame, and the future- What’s different for neurotypical kids vs. kids on the autism spectrum- Practical, concrete ways to motivate kids to re-invest in school and real-world relationships

If you’re worried your child is chasing online fame at the expense of their future, this conversation offers grounded guidance and reassurance that you’re not alone.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Episode keywords: influencer kids, failing grades, school disengagement, autism, motivation tips, middle school

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Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression?

In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have? 

What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a much bigger conversation about boundaries, autonomy, culture, identity, and healthy parent-teen tension. Together, Lisa and Reena explore why piercings can matter so much to teens, why they can feel so unsettling to parents, and how families can move toward compromise without power struggles.

💡 YOU’LL LEARN:

- How piercings function as self-expression and identity exploration during adolescence

- How the location of a piercing can affect social and practical considerations

- A powerful empathy-based exercise that helps parents and teens break through stalemates

- When compromise makes sense… and when it doesn’t

Whether you’re navigating piercings, hair color, clothing choices, or the next big boundary your teen wants to test, this episode offers grounded reassurance and practical tools to help you stay connected while holding your values.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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teens, parents, piercings, boundaries, self-expression, compromise, teen piercings,  ear piercing, nose piercing, family conflict
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