Back from the Abyss: Psychiatry in Stories

By Craig Heacock MD

Personal Journals Society & Culture Medicine

What's Back from the Abyss: Psychiatry in Stories about?

How do we find a way out of the darkest depths of despair? Psychiatrist Dr. Craig Heacock hosts a deep dive into powerfully moving stories of hope and healing, as well as topical explorations of psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, and psychedelics.

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Fishbowl 3

06.02.2022

Chris and Craig celebrate season 3, discuss the results of the listeners poll (with a surprising reveal of their unconscious motivation for producing BFTA), offer their curated episode sampler plates, and then settle into a detailed deconstruction of the Psychedelic ...

Back from the Abyss: Psychiatry in Stories episodes:

06.02.2022 Fishbowl 3 Chris and Craig celebrate season 3, discuss the results of the listeners poll (with a surprising reveal of their unconscious motivation for producing BFTA), offer their curated episode sampler plates, and then settle into a detailed deconstruction of the Psychedelic ...
05.19.2022 Psychedelic Somatic Therapy with Saj Razvi Saj Razvi returns to BFTA to share and discuss a mind-blowing audio recording of a ketamine-facilitated somatic therapy session. This session was from a recent training workshop with experienced trauma therapists, and Saj uses a somatic exercise-- staring into the ...
05.05.2022 Psychotherapy Twice Told One of Craig's heroes is Dr. Irvin Yalom, a psychiatrist and writer— Yalom's books inspired him in the early years of learning to become a psychiatrist. Today’s story concept was sparked by Yalom's book “Every day gets a little closer—A ...
04.21.2022 MDMA, MAPS, and Cover Story's Power Trip-- Another perspective The podcast Cover Story just released a series called Power Trip, an expose of the dark side of the psychedelic treatment world. The series highlights the stories of a few women, including the co-host, who were sexually assaulted in psychedelic ...
04.07.2022 Working with families and psychiatric illness Dr. H sits down with Dr. Usha Udupa, a Colorado-based child and adolescent psychiatrist, to explore the complexities of working with patients in the context of the family. They discuss topics such as: How and when family members should be ...
03.24.2022 Attachment and Adoption Part 2– Ridghaus and the Six Word Adoption Memoir This is the second in our two part series on adoption and attachment wounds. Ridg and his girlfriend Rebecca got pregnant when he was 19, and they made the difficult decision to give their son up for adoption. Fast forward ...
03.10.2022 From Seoul to Wichita-- Attachment trauma and adoption This is the story of Shae, who was adopted as a baby from South Korea and raised in Wichita Kansas in a family of Swedish descent. From her initial attachment wounds, subsequent heartbreak, and later a shocking revelation in late ...
02.24.2022 The nature of gender-- A story of transitioning Autumn was assigned male at birth, but she sensed from a very young age that something was not right. This is her journey through denial, awakening, and then transitioning both hormonally and surgically. Autumn brings a fascinating and thoughtful perspective ...
02.10.2022 Twenty years in psychiatry: Insights and clinical pearls Dr. H distills down his 20 years of clinical experience into just under an hour of musings, lessons learned, and insights. "Sometimes the why really isn't crucial" (Essay from the NYT about addiction) https://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/19/health/psychology/19essa.html BFTA on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ BFTA/ Dr. ...
01.27.2022 The dark side of psychedelics Devin found out the hard way that psychedelics can have a very dark side. This is a story of discovery and of joy…of connection and dancing and jam bands….and it’s also a story of two psychotic breaks, sexual assault, and ...
01.14.2022 Treatment resistant depression: Ketamine vs ECT vs TMS ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) has long been the last stop for severe and treatment resistant depression, but now there are at least two other good options for those who don't respond to meds and therapy. Dr. Dan Fisher, an ECT expert, ...
12.31.2021 Ketamine in context-- From substance abuse to psychedelic therapy Expectation, set, setting, dosage, and route of administration provide the context and scaffolding for psychoactive drugs. An IV morphine drip can make unbearable pain completely manageable, while IV heroin, which is immediately converted to morphine once it crosses the blood ...
12.16.2021 Conversation with an underground psilocybin therapist As we are now coming to realize the impressive potential of psychedelics to treat trauma and depression, we also have to face the fact that they are still illegal. This reality has led to an explosion of underground therapy, a ...
12.02.2021 Body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and embodiment Body dysmorphia is the disorder of imagined ugliness, a type of delusional OCD that can lead to severe depression, eating disorders, compulsive body alterations, and suicidality. As a young child, Georgina was a "cute kid", not particularly self-conscious, and able ...
11.18.2021 Hold on to memories-- The aftermath of suicide Doug Friedman, the co-host and producer of the podcast Your Mental Breakdown, contacted Craig last spring and said that he was ready and wanting to tell his abyss story-- that of his wife’s death and his journey of recovery thereafter. ...
11.04.2021 Doing the loving thing-- An exploration of marriage with Jeff Pincus Here Craig sits down with Jeff Pincus, a nationally recognized couples therapist and trainer from Boulder, they explore why it’s so challenging to be an effective marriage therapist, why we are all destined to marry the wrong person (hint….our partners ...
10.21.2021 When meds don't work: Diagnostic confusion, trauma, sleep, hormones, and mistaken expectations When psychiatric meds work well, it can be nothing short of miraculous. Yet so often, patients accumulate a long list of med failures, leading to a sense of deep frustration and even hopelessness. Here Dr. H explores five central reasons ...
10.07.2021 The Secret Sauce-- Treating PTSD with MDMA An amazing healing journey deserves a detailed post-game analysis and deconstruction. Here Elizabeth, a participant in the MAPS MDMA study, sits down with Craig and co-therapist Karen Cooper to look back at what were the crux moves and essential ingredients ...
09.23.2021 Craig and Antonio Sacre talk shop Craig sits down with LA-based Cuban American storyteller, author, BFTA super-advisor, and longtime dear friend Antonio Sacre to explore the art and power of storytelling, their personal abyss moments, friendship and vulnerability, and their shared love of air conditioning. Antonio ...
09.09.2021 I felt the world too much-- On being a highly sensitive person Life would be so much easier if we each came with an individual instruction manual, to both guide us and also warn us of how our inherited temperament and predilections might cause us great suffering. The first page of Emily's ...
08.24.2021 Where did our son go? A family faces schizophrenia Just after starting his career, Dr. H met Matthew, a middle school student in the midst of a horrifying psychotic break. Here Dr. H sits down with Meg and Phil, Matthew's parents, to explore their 15 year journey of grief, ...
08.08.2021 The Quickening-- A healing journey through AA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca 12 step programs have helped millions of people, but they can't address everything. Randy got clean and sober and found a supportive community in AA....yet something was missing. He couldn't find peace, he couldn't connect in intimate relationships, he felt ...
07.23.2021 Spiritual gaslighting We're back!! Sometimes it's irresistible, necessary even, to lose ourselves into the greater collective, to become a honeybee buzzing with the ecstatic singular purpose of the hive. In this season 3 opener, Jamie tells Dr. H her story of trying ...
05.16.2021 Fishbowl #2-- Chris and Craig talk shop In this final episode of season 2, Chris and Craig explore the highs and lows of the last year and plans for season 3. Craig discussing the psychedelic revolution in psychiatry on the Modern Therapist Survival Guide podcast https://therapyreimagined.com/modern-therapist-podcast/psychedelic-assisted-therapy/ BFTA ...
04.27.2021 (Almost) Everything about psych meds... in under 16 minutes Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, stimulants.....READY SET GO! Med cheat sheet SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors)-- Prozac, Lexapro, Paxil, Celexa, Zoloft, Luvox, Trintellix, Viibryd-- They are generally NOT antidepressants Mainly helpful for OCD, body dysmorphia, panic (if not from trauma), ...
04.13.2021 All we have is now-- A psychotherapist faces mortality How do you show up for others when you are facing the loss of everything you have ever known and loved? Here Leah Barrett, a Colorado-based psychotherapist, opens her heart and shares her story of managing the careful dance of ...
03.29.2021 How healing happens with Dr. Hillary McBride-- Eating disorders and body dysmorphia What's the special sauce of psychological and psychiatric treatment? How do we change, particularly in relationship with others? Here Dr. Hillary McBride, a psychotherapist, researcher, author, and podcast host (Other People's Problems) opens up about the details of her years ...
03.13.2021 Addiction treatment-- What works, what definitely doesn't How can we stop the heartbreaking and horrific spiral of addiction? Dr. Jeremy Dubin, the Medical Director of Colorado's Front Range Clinic, sits down with Dr. H to discuss their top five things that actually work....and the five factors which ...
03.01.2021 A superhero at night-- Lucid dreaming, opioids, and ibogaine BFTA takes a wild ride with Colorado based artist, writer, and video producer Ian Jaydid as he tells his double abyss story of lucid dreaming, out of body experiences, REM deprivation and transient psychosis....which then led to the blissful but ...
02.09.2021 Why is it so hard to find a good psychiatrist? In the context of an increasingly severe shortage of psychiatrists, Dr. H discusses some uncomfortable truths about why finding a good outpatient psychiatrist is even more difficult than ever. Psychedelics and Psychiatry-- Dr. H on The Third Wave Podcast https://thethirdwave.co/podcast/episode-112-craig-heacock/ ...
01.26.2021 No one believed me-- Complex PTSD and BPD The therapeutic relationship is built on trust, we come to therapy expecting that we are going to be heard and believed. Jeanine wasn't believed-- about her childhood sexual assaults, or the emerging psychotic symptoms, or her intractable suicidality....even after many ...
01.12.2021 Psychedelic mushrooms and the magic of life Some things in life defy explanation...like tripping on mushrooms and arresting the plunge into alcoholism. Here Stella shares her story of childhood abuse and neglect, her reenactment of the abuse through toxic relationships with men, and then her life-changing sessions ...
12.22.2020 The clinical moment in psychotherapy-- A conversation with Dr. David Puder Dr. H sits down with Dr. David Puder, a psychiatrist and host of the Psychiatry and Psychotherapy podcast, to explore the beauty and challenge and mystery of psychotherapy. What are Chris and Craig wanting for Christmas...??? How about writing us ...
12.08.2020 Diagnosis guides treatment....except when it doesn't In most specialties of medicine, the dictum "Diagnosis guides treatment" is the law of the land. In psychiatry, however, most of what we treat are often overlapping syndromes, not actual diseases, and these syndromes involve hugely varying dimensions of symptoms ...
11.24.2020 Craig plays goalie-- The Psychedelics Today interview The podcast Psychedelics Today recently released a two part interview with Will Hall, an author, podcaster, therapist, and voice of the anti-psychiatry community. This BFTA episode came about after Dr. H reached out to the hosts of PT and asked ...
11.10.2020 Steering into the hard stuff-- A father and husband's story Dr. H sits down with his friend Brian, who watched his daughter, and then his wife, plunge into the depressive abyss. This is the journey of a father and husband, of a "we can fix this" engineer trying to find ...
10.20.2020 Touching the edges of life-- Healing from divorce In this third of an intermittent series about therapists in the abyss, Dr. H sits down with his colleague Dr. Elena Estanol, a Colorado-based psychologist, to explore Elena's "fourth dark night of the soul". Her story serves as a springboard ...
10.06.2020 Craig's letters from the past: Mistakes made, lessons learned Dr. H finds a trove of patient letters from the last 15 years and shares three of the most poignant, using each as a springboard for lessons learned. Dr. H and BFTA https://www.craigheacockmd.com https://twitter.com/bftapod?lang=en
09.22.2020 A mother's story-- When your child can't see what's wrong After a difficult final year of high school, Tessa hoped and prayed that her youngest son would make the transition to college and find a way to thrive. He would be only an hour away, he wanted to go, and ...
09.01.2020 Trauma, yoga, and spiritual recovery Trauma embeds in the complex zone between body and spirit, deep within the realm of primary consciousness. The typical psychiatric approaches of meds and talk therapy rarely access these unconscious realms. In prior episodes of BFTA, we have heard accounts ...
08.18.2020 Psychiatry in one question + When ketamine therapy gets difficult In the first half of this two part mini-episode, Dr. H explores the four stages where fully dissociative doses of ketamine can get a little rocky: reaching escape velocity re-entry dissociative shatter post-session processing What if a psychiatrist were allowed ...
08.04.2020 Craig and Saj Razvi talk shop— Dissociation, the unconscious, countertransference sadism, and psychedelics Saj Razvi (of Innate Path and Psychedelic Somatic Institute) returns to BFTA to help Craig do a deep dive into listener questions. Have questions you want us to address in a future episode? Email them via craigheacockmd.com or message on ...
07.21.2020 A special place in my drug addict heart We typically think of addiction as a symptom of a deeper issue, such as trauma or a psychiatric disorder. Sometimes, however, addiction is the main event, and powerlessness is the starting point, not some ambiguous distant stop on the substance ...
07.07.2020 In Session Step inside Dr. H's office to eavesdrop on a therapy session with his patient Jasmine (from the Delta Flight Attendant episode in season 1). This session explores an extremely painful but ultimately transformative relationship that Jasmine had with a much ...
06.23.2020 Craig's meditation on loss and life Season 2 is here! We kick off our new season with Dr. H going deep into the immediate aftermath of losing four patients and his eventual path back into the light. Save this one for when you are in the ...
06.09.2020 Bonus episode-- Inside Eyes: Ayahuasca and sexual trauma Can a podcast have an identical twin separated at birth? If so, then "Inside Eyes" might possibly be that long lost twin of BFTA. Laura Mae Northrup is the creator of Inside Eyes and a trauma therapist in the Oakland ...
05.26.2020 Bonus Episode-- Conversations with a Wounded Healer (Interview with Dr. Hillary McBride) Self-described podcast junkie Dr. H reached out to Sarah Buino, host of the excellent podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer, and they agreed to do this super nifty episode swap, in which Sarah will feature a favorite BFTA episode on ...
05.12.2020 Chris and Craig in the fishbowl BFTA's two co-conspirators sit down together for a look back at the first year-- the origin story, highlights, points of gratitude, mistakes made, Craig's most poignant/painful moment, the Enneagram, and Chris' desert island albums (no Meat Loaf!) Back from the ...
04.28.2020 Adventures in Exposure Therapy In this second of a two part exploration of OCD, Dr. H and Dr. Amy Indermuehle, a Colorado-based OCD expert, deconstruct Erin's treatment. Dr. Amy is a big fan of in vivo exposures, whether that be watching stomach-churning Youtube videos, ...
04.14.2020 OCD in the Time of Corona The postpartum period is by far the most psychiatrically vulnerable time in a woman's life. Erin had always some some mildly annoying obsessive-compulsive tendencies, but they were never a major factor in her life, until just after her daughter was ...

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