Back from the Borderline

Join me for the third and final episode in this 3-part series exploring the hidden complexities of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family dynamics. Family scapegoats start as innocent children or adolescents who bear the weight of projected family trauma. In this series, we’ll journey through the origins and consequences of scapegoating abuse, both in early childhood, as well as its lingering impact in adulthood. Together, we’ll explore how these experiences shape our emotional landscapes and relationships. By working with and integrating the concepts covered, you’ll discover valuable insights into breaking free from this suffocating role, allowing you to embark on a journey towards healing and liberation. It is my sincere hope that you can begin to unmask the layers of this covert form of psycho-emotional abuse, and learn to reclaim your narrative, rewriting a story of resilience and transformation beyond this dysfunctional label that was never yours to begin with.

TIME STAMPS

SCAPEGOATING SERIES PART 3:

00:00 – 04:46: Intro and reflections

04:46 – 29:16: Moving through the 5 stages of grief as a scapegoated adult child

29:16 – 01:00:08: Why is the stage of acceptance so difficult for those who have endured scapegoating abuse?

PREMIUM: LISTENER VOICEMAILS:

 01:00:08 – 01:26:12: Voicemail from Joslyn (moving on from a complicated breakup that involves trauma bonding, family enmeshment and addiction)

01:26:12 – 01:36:59: Voicemail from Jane (the difficulty that comes with trying to make a relationship work with someone who is in a different phase of their life)

01:36:57 – 01:45:44: Voicemail update from Lauren (more on her complicated entanglement with her work colleague)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for part two of a 3-part series exploring the hidden complexities of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family dynamics. Family scapegoats start as innocent children or adolescents who bear the weight of projected family trauma. In this series, we’ll journey through the origins and consequences of scapegoating abuse, both in early childhood, as well as its lingering impact in adulthood. Together, we’ll explore how these experiences shape our emotional landscapes and relationships. By working with and integrating the concepts covered, you’ll discover valuable insights into breaking free from this suffocating role, allowing you to embark on a journey towards healing and liberation. By the end of this series, it is my sincere hope that you can begin to unmask the layers of this covert form of psycho-emotional abuse, and learn to reclaim your narrative, rewriting a story of resilience and transformation beyond this dysfunctional label that was never yours to begin with.

TIME STAMPS

SCAPEGOATING SERIES PART 2:

00:00 – 05:44: Listener voicemails reacting to the toxic shame series

05:25 – 12:19: The connection between scapegoating and toxic shame + intro to part 2

12:19 – 20:32: How scapegoating abuse can lead to misdiagnosis of mental health disorders

20:32 – 29:34: Questions to help you identify if you were the victim of family scapegoating abuse

29:34 – 38:08: Questions to help you identify if scapegoating abuse is still impacting you as an adult

38:08 – 45:50: Common experiences of scapegoated children

45:50 – 01:04:56: Processing the grief of the scapegoat role

PREMIUM: LISTENER VOICEMAILS:

01:04:56 – 01:22:21: Voicemail from Molly (how to handle a partner who isn’t willing to do their own inner work)

01:22:21 – 01:39:28: Voicemail from Paige (how to keep your word with yourself and avoid self-abandonment when dealing with recovery from addiction and childhood trauma)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we begin an intense 3-part exploration of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family systems. Often misunderstood, family scapegoating assigns innocent children or adolescents the emotional burden of unresolved trauma, a pattern that can devastate self-worth and echo throughout adult life. Join me as we unpack the origins of scapegoating abuse, trace its psychological impact, and dive into real-life examples—from literary archetypes like Hester Prynne to my own story. This series is about more than awareness; it’s about empowering listeners to break free from toxic narratives. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden scars left by scapegoating and provide tools to help you reclaim your voice and reshape your identity on your terms. In Part 1, gain foundational insights into the scapegoat role and its far-reaching effects on identity, self-worth, and resilience. This episode lays the groundwork for deeper healing and transformation—beginning with awareness and the courage to confront our hidden wounds.

Part 1 – Understanding the Scapegoat Role in Dysfunctional Families:

• 00:00 – 09:21 | Overview of family roles in dysfunctional systems
• 09:21 – 16:47 | Scapegoat archetypes in literature: Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter
• 16:47 – 21:36 | How toxic families select a child as the scapegoat
• 21:36 – 26:35 | My personal experience as the family scapegoat
• 26:35 – 32:55 | Key signs that you may be the scapegoat in your family
• 32:55 – 38:28 | The multigenerational cycle of family scapegoating abuse (FSA)
• 38:28 – 41:58 | Recognizing scapegoating abuse for what it truly is
• 41:58 – 44:36 | Deep emotional wounds caused by scapegoating
• 44:36 – 48:11 | Why scapegoating abuse often goes unrecognized
• 48:11 – 54:30 | The dehumanizing effects of scapegoating on children
• 54:30 – 01:05:21 | The scapegoat’s role in narcissistic family dynamics
• 01:05:21 – 01:11:16 | Toxic family narratives and distorted storytelling
• 01:11:15 – 01:15:19 | Physical, psychological, and emotional tolls of scapegoating

Premium Segment: Navigating Ghosting in Relationships:

• 01:15:19 – 01:41:03 | Listener voicemail from Austin + reflections on ghosting
• 01:41:03 – 01:46:22 | What research reveals about the ghosting phenomenon
• 01:46:22 – 02:11:00 | The “anti-ghosting” trend on TikTok and strategies for compassionate relationship endings

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean to live a life of true purpose and depth, especially when haunted by trauma, self-sabotage, or chronic emptiness? In this special episode, I sit down with legendary Jungian analyst Dr. James Hollis, whose latest work, A Life of Meaning: Relocating Your Center of Spiritual Gravity, addresses the question many of us find ourselves asking: “What does all of this mean?” For those recovering from abuse, neglect, or persistent inner turmoil, this conversation delves into why we feel trapped in self-sabotaging patterns and how we can transform our suffering into self-understanding.

Dr. Hollis, a leading voice in Jungian psychology, unpacks how we can break free from life-denying cycles by cultivating a meaningful relationship with our inner world. He shares how reconnecting with our true essence—not our past wounds—can bring healing, fulfillment, and genuine self-expression. Dr. Hollis’s wisdom offers a path toward a more examined life, moving beyond the limiting labels of "good" or "bad" and embracing our complex, whole selves.

Highlights and Key Questions Explored:

00:00 – 04:00: Introduction + listener voicemail reflections

04:14 – 10:21: What is Jungian psychology, and how does it foster a deeper, more transformative journey?

10:19 – 13:29: Why Jungian analysis offers a profound alternative to short-term approaches like CBT and DBT

13:29 – 17:30: Introducing Dr. James Hollis and his new book A Life of Meaning

17:34 – 25:25: Why do we repeat the same self-sabotaging behaviors, despite wanting to change?

25:20 – 27:56: How staying stuck in childlike patterns hinders adult self-growth

27:56 – 29:38: The roots of low self-worth in childhood and its lingering effects on adulthood

29:38 – 38:42: How to cultivate an inner life that nourishes your soul without losing touch with reality

38:42 – 50:25: Why living an examined life is essential for lasting inner peace

50:25 – 56:48: The risks of suppressing emotions—and the liberation that comes from facing them

56:48 – 01:03:28: How to handle overwhelming feelings of “emotional neediness” and build self-reliance

01:03:38 – 01:29:34: Analyzing the BetterHelp controversy and its implications for mental health, influencer ethics, and the future of online therapy

RESOURCES

“A Life of Meaning: Relocating Your Center of Spiritual Gravity” by James Hollis

Click here to view other books by James Hollis

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the emotional struggles you face aren’t yours alone but echoes from generations before you? In this episode, we dive deep into the powerful world of Systemic Family Constellations, a therapeutic practice developed by German psychologist Bert Hellinger. At its core, Family Constellations reveals a profound truth: we are profoundly shaped by our familial and ancestral bonds, often carrying wounds we didn’t create but can’t escape. Whether we acknowledge it or not, intergenerational trauma weaves through our lives, affecting our emotional landscapes with unexplained sadness, anxiety, or despair. My guest, Marine Sélénée, a renowned Family Constellations facilitator based in New York City and Miami, guides us through this transformative modality. Together, we explore how looking into our family’s past can illuminate hidden sources of pain and allow us to release these burdens, setting us on a path toward healing and deeper self-understanding. This episode unpacks the mysteries of Family Constellations, revealing how facing our family histories head-on can free us from patterns that have haunted us for generations.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – 06:38: Introduction and listener voicemails

06:38 – 11:28: The impact of inherited trauma on our lives

11:28 – 22:39: Breaking down Systemic Family Constellations therapy

22:39 – 26:41: Introduction to our guest, Marine Sélénée

26:41 – 01:42:21: Full interview with Marine Sélénée, exploring the roots and process of Family Constellations

01:42:21 – 02:12:44: What Family Constellations therapy looks like in real life – and how it brings hidden truths to light

Recommended resources:

• Book: Connected Fates, Separate Destinies: sing Family Constellations Therapy to Recover from Inherited Stories and Trauma

• Work with Marine: https://www.marineselenee.com/

• Netflix series that explores Family Constellations “Another Self”

• Live example of Family Constellation work with Bert Hellinger on YouTube (click here)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do “emotionally disturbed” individuals, poets, artists, and burnt-out therapists have in common? We’re all DONE with the systems designed to keep us “sick” and compliant. In this episode, we confront the oppressive structures that profit from our pain, fatigue, and desperation. You'll hear a searing spoken-word piece by Anita D, powerfully condemning forced psychiatric hospitalization—a system that cages rather than heals. Next, YouTuber and former therapist Daniel Mackler delivers a raw confession about why he left the therapy profession, disillusioned by an industry that often punishes instead of liberates.

We also delve into a thought-provoking article by Dr. Bruce Levine, who argues that psychiatry’s “control-freak model” is not just failing but actively fueling the suffering and behavioral crises it pretends to treat. And finally, we’ll unpack the unlikely rise of viral artist Oliver Anthony (aka Christopher Anthony Lunsford), whose breakout song “Rich Men of Richmond” has become a cultural lightning rod. In a surprising turn, Anthony has refused to be co-opted by either side, instead calling out political leaders and corporate players for twisting his message for their own agendas. This episode is for the misfits, the rebels, the worn-down healers, and anyone who’s ever felt like a pawn in a system that would rather pacify than empower. Here’s to reclaiming your voice, defying expectations, and refusing to be silenced by those who see you as just another “case” or “consumer.”

Resources mentioned in this episode are below. Please support and follow the work of these fierce and fearless change-makers:

✧ Spoken word poetry by Anita D (“And The Psych Ward Says”) via “Button Poetry” on YouTube [click here to watch]

✧ Why I Quit Being a Therapist by Daniel Mackler [click here to watch on YouTube]

✧ Click here to listen to my full interview with Dr. Bruce Levine (“The Crisis of Contemporary Psychiatry”)

✧ Original viral video of “Rich Men North of Richmond” posted by Radio West Virginia [click here to listen]

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Has psychiatry lost its way? Increasingly, voices within and beyond the profession argue that Western mental health institutions may be perpetuating psychological suffering rather than alleviating it. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Bruce E. Levine, a clinical psychologist and outspoken critic of mainstream psychiatry, to dig into some of the field’s most pressing and controversial questions. Dr. Levine, known for challenging the status quo, explores how psychiatry’s overreliance on pharmaceutical solutions, the failure to address systemic sources of distress, and the widespread acceptance of diagnostic labels with questionable validity may be obscuring real pathways to healing.

We examine the radical critiques that are now becoming more mainstream, including the lack of scientific support for the serotonin imbalance theory of depression, the diagnostic limitations of the DSM, and how treatment outcomes often fall short of meaningful relief. Dr. Levine, who serves on advisory boards for Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry and the National Center for Youth Law, connects the dots between culture, society, and the individual mind, pushing for an approach to mental health that addresses root causes rather than merely managing symptoms.

Episode Highlights:

• 00:00 – 07:42 | Deprogramming and Unlearning: Why challenging our deeply held beliefs about mental health can be the first step to true understanding and healing
• 07:42 – 14:02 | The Rise of Critical Psychiatry: A brief history of the critical psychology movement and its implications for modern mental health care
• 14:02 – 19:42 | Exploring Dr. Levine’s Work: Understanding his commitment to ethical psychiatry and his stance on some of the field’s most contentious issues
• 19:42 – 01:55:50 | Interview with Dr. Bruce E. Levine: The myth of chemical imbalance, the DSM's limitations, and the systemic failures that prevent true mental health recovery
• 01:56:01 – 02:00:36 | Final Thoughts and Reflections: Summing up the conversation and reflecting on future directions for mental health
• 02:01:36 – 02:25:04 | Listener Question from Asja: Exploring the link between “analysis paralysis” and the long-term effects of chronic invalidation

This episode invites listeners to reflect on the ways psychiatry could be reimagined to prioritize genuine human connection, social context, and the nuances of personal experience. Whether you’re skeptical of mainstream psychiatry or simply curious, this discussion offers insights that may challenge what you thought you knew about mental health.

Recommended resources:

■ Bruce’s website

■ Article: Once Radical Critiques of Psychiatry are Now Mainstream, So What Remains Taboo?

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this laid-back episode, grab a matcha latte with me and settle in as we explore how unresolved childhood anger and trauma can shape the way we communicate and express our needs. Drawing on insights from somatic experiencing work, I unpack how suppressed anger often resurfaces in adolescence through "acting out" behaviors, leading many of us to adopt unhealthy patterns like manipulation and deception to feel seen and heard.

But here’s the pivotal realization: these shadow tendencies may have served a purpose once, but they don’t need to define us. By bringing these hidden aspects into the light, we can recognize that these self-sabotaging habits are no longer necessary. This episode is all about discovering how to voice our needs in healthy, direct ways, moving away from reactive behavior and embracing communication that’s rooted in authenticity, integrity, and self-respect.

Topics Explored in This Episode:

• How suppressed childhood anger shapes communication patterns in adolescence
• The link between emotional repression and “acting out” behaviors
• How manipulation and deceit arise as coping strategies
• Uncovering shadow aspects and breaking the cycle of self-sabotage
• Moving toward authentic self-expression and voicing needs with integrity

Whether you’re on a journey to improve your relationships, strengthen your self-awareness, or just want to understand the roots of your own behaviors, this episode provides practical insights and grounding techniques to help you reconnect with your true voice.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

GET 20% OFF ON YOUR FIRST ORDER FROM SOMMAR PRINTS WITH THE CODE "BFTB" [click here] or visit sommarprints.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is the eighth and final installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame. Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 11:45: How “underworld experiences” can help bring us closer towards healing

11:45 – 25:05: Understanding the connection between religious trauma and toxic shame

25:05 – 29:41: The denial of secondary causality as the insidious and toxically shaming distortion of many religions

29:07 – 32:55: Spiritual bypassing and how religion is used to deny or suppress “bad” emotions

32:55 – 36:32: Religious addiction and perfectionism as mediated by psychological inflexibility

40:09 – 49:34: Healing toxic shame when it has become a cultural norm (how shame is baked into our modern culture)

49:28 – 01:03:05: How rigid sex roles foster the development of internalized toxic shame

01:03:05 – 01:08:25: The impact of mass cultural denial and suppression of emotion

01:08:25 – 01:17:38: Healing from toxic shame (a starting point)

PREMIUM PORTION:

01:19:10 – 01:27:44: Listener question from Amy (what to do when you’re buried in toxic shame)

01:27:09 – 01:39:54: Listener question from Teresa (dealing with splitting, overthinking and PMS in a new relationship)

01:39:54 – 01:54:34: Listener question from Gia (can you be TOO self-aware?)

01:54:34 – 02:01:57: Outro + premium submarine updates and reflections

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I typically refrain from commenting on trending topics, but I found myself unable to resist discussing this particular one. An unusual (to say the least) TikTok trend has emerged, where users live-stream themselves portraying an “NPC”—essentially an automated “non-player character” with pre-written dialogue. This includes uttering nonsensical phrases like “ice cream so good” in response to gifts from their audience. This trend is spreading rapidly and leaving many of us utterly perplexed. NPCs, or “non-player characters,” are common elements within various video games. These characters aren't under the player's control but engage with players through predetermined dialogue to drive the storyline. The mechanical demeanor of these characters has led to comparisons, inspiring the name of the TikTok NPC trend. In this episode, I'll share my perspective on this trend through my personal experiences, having been involved in sex work and online streaming previously. Is this all harmless entertainment, or does it highlight a more significant concern where we willingly commodify ourselves for financial gain? How far will we allow this to go? Join me as I delve into this dystopian scenario.

Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

★ What is an NPC?

★ What is the NPC meme and how and when did it begin trending? 

★ What is the NPC trend on TikTok?

★ What is NPC streaming and how much do NPC streamers make?

★ What impact does this robotic trend-following behavior have on us as a collective? 

★ Does social media make it easier for us to dehumanize one another?

★ How in the hell do we make our way out of this dystopian nightmare?

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.