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In our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we’ve found that over and over again our best-selling books, and our megachurch pastors, teach things that are shown to lead to worse outcomes. Why? What’s going on? In today’s podcast we share the faulty premise that is at the heart of evangelical marriage advice, and the four toxic teachings that flow from that false premise. But when we fix that first premise—then our advice can finally get healthy (and Jesus-centered!)

LINKS

• Pre-Order The Marriage You Want!
• Pre-Order on Amazon
• Get other links to Pre-Order
• Send in your preorder receipt to [email protected]

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

• Access our rubric scoring the various best-selling marriage and sex books 
• Our podcast talking about the problems with the “research” supporting Love & Respect 
• Our podcast with the issues with Marriage on the Rock 
• The Voddie Baucham clip 
• Our round up of the issues with the book The Excellent Wife 
• The Jimmy Evans clip 
• The Tim Keller clip 
• The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #1 
• The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #2 

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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The idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written based on it; it informs almost every marriage sermon. What if it’s not true? Using data from our marriage survey of 7000 people, we show how reality is very different—and what this means for how we should talk about marriage!

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

LINKS

• Pre-order The Marriage You Want! https://amzn.to/3YQfqMy
• Send your pre-order receipts to [email protected] to get our pre-order bonus and an invite to the launch team!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

• Take our marriage survey yourself as a date night!
• Our synopsis of everything wrong with Love & Respect (with other posts and podcasts linked in the bottom)
• Our open letter to Focus on the Family
• Jonathan Pokluda clip
• Female Influencer clip #1
• Female influencer clip #2
• Josh and Jana Howerton
• Josh Howerton “Give him a crown”
• Steve Gaines’ sermon on respect

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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So many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we believed that, we’re likely to get suckered in again to toxic stuff—just DIFFERENT toxic stuff. So today, Rebecca and I are doing a postmortem, looking at what it is about church that leaves us vulnerable to believing things that are toxic and rather easy to see through. Let’s become critical thinkers, so we don’t get sucked in again!
 
TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

LINKS

• The Marriage You Want. You can preorder it here!
• Send your pre-order receipts to: [email protected] The preorder bonuses and invites to the launch team will be sent out next week.
• Check out our new plans for 2025, with links to all our social media channels
• The Great Sex Rescue--the Kindle sale is over but the paperback's on sale!
• Focus on the Family posts about Jane and John

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let’s talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers?

COMING IN 2025

Pre-Order The Marriage You Want

Join our email list to be notified about the launch team

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

• Our journal article Sanctified Sexism
• The Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)
• Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation 
• Fact Checking her claims
• Shaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can’t be peer reviewed
• Podcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn’s survey questions
• Dissecting another survey question
• The One Sheet of the problems with For Women Only
• Shaunti Feldhahn’s Statement about Us
• Our statement in response

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus’ hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It’s the Christmas season, everyone!

Stocking Stuffers:

Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

• Find Even After Everything
• Donate to The Well House
• Donate to the work we do! Help us meet our 2025 goals. Get a tax-deductible receipt for donations within the US
• Or, if you’d rather, join our Patreon and support us that way, while getting access to an exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! 

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans’ bullying behavior has dropped. So let’s examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we’ll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family.

Our Sponsor:

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.
These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

Stocking Stuffers:

Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!

LINKS:

 Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the Rock

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

• The audio of Jimmy Evans’ bullying behavior in the Daystar meeting
• Evidence of Mark Driscoll being on the leadership team at XO Marriage

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you’re plagued with insecurity, can’t find peace in your relationships? What if it’s because we’re running away from part of who we are, and we haven’t been able to honor who God made us to be? Christy Bauman, a licensed therapist, noticed in her counseling that her clients often didn’t have a clear identity or were able to articulate who they were. So she invites us on a journey of recovering rites of passage—where we honor sacred moments in our lives, honor our birthright, honor who God made us to be. We honor the good and the bad; we lament what is lost but we celebrate what we’ve achieved. And when we’re able to do these things, we can finally be comfortable in our own skin! Join us for this deep and personal conversation.

OUR SPONSOR:

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

• Christy Bauman’s book Her Rites
• Find Christy, her book, and the songs
• Great Sex Rescue is on for under $10 on Amazon right now! (who knows how long that will last?)
• Our peer reviewed article in the Sociology of Religion journal

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.

SPECIAL: The Great Sex Rescue is on major sale on Amazon right now! Get it here

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

• Ngina Otiende’s initial article about Gary Thomas
• Our review of Gary Thomas’ book Married Sex 
• My original article about how Married Sex coerces nude photos 
• Our podcast where we talked about Gisele Pelicot 
• The Male Centric Sex podcast
• Theology in the Raw episode with Josh Butler 
• Brett McCracken about Josh Butler
• Twitter thread with Gary Thomas
• Juli Slattery’s article quoting me

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them?

Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family!

SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting Webinar with Wendy! The Compassionate Discipline Workshop, Tuesday November 19 at 1 pm EST!

THINGS MENTIONED

• Wendy's Website, Fresh Start Family
• Find Wendy on Instagram 
• Listen to our last podcast with Wendy, Parenting without Yelling

TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a text

Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood.

 TO SUPPORT US

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
• Join our email list!

Things Mentioned

• Rick Pidcock’s article about coming after Bluey
• Jeremy Pryor’s article about Bluey turning fathers into mothers
• Rick Pidcock's blog

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.