Forrest is joined by poet and author Diego Perez - better known as Yung Pueblo - for a live conversation recorded at City Arts & Lectures in San Francisco. They reunite the sensitive boys club to talk about how inner work transforms our relationships, what it means to love with an open hand, and the difference between attachment and commitment. Diego shares how his meditation practice reshaped his life and partnership, how he and his wife built a new culture of honesty together, and why real love always shows you what you need to work on.

About our Guest: Yung Pueblo is a poet, meditator, and the bestselling author of five books, including How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

4:55: Diego’s personal background, and how he came to meditation

9:25: How meditation affects your relationships

13:40: Attachment vs. commitment, and developing comfort with receiving love

20:50: The student mentality, spiritual arrogance, and ‘don’t know mind’

26:45: Preventative communication

30:40: Being in a relationship when both partners are constantly evolving

35:55: What happens on a silent retreat

40:45: How “advanced meditators” argue, and how to have a low stakes relationship check-in

47:45: Rebuilding after past hurt

54:50: Diego’s relationship with the internet, and why he goes by Yung Pueblo

59:35: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

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Can we really change our personalities? In this episode, Forrest is joined by someone who’s actually tried most of the things we talk about on the podcast: journalist and author Olga Khazan. Olga shares the personal experiments that led to her becoming more extroverted and agreeable, and less neurotic. They discuss the Big Five personality traits, how behavior shapes identity, the role of self-concept, authenticity, and some of the common challenges people face when trying to change a core aspect of who they are.

About Our Guest: Olga Khazan is a writer at The Atlantic, where she covers health, culture, and the complexities of human behavior. She's the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Olga’s personal background with personality change

5:20: Age, extroversion, self-concept, and Olga’s improv classes

10:10: Unconditional positive regard, meditation, and mindfulness

20:55: Trying on different traits, and acceptance vs. change

24:25: Conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and individualism

36:20: Changing at the ‘trait level’, and the changes Olga has embraced most

43:50: Psychedelics, non-self, and identifying what’s really true

53:50: Nature vs. nurture and the aspects we can’t change

56:30: Parenting and personality change

1:02:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

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Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Connect with the show:

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Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore emotional immaturity, the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature caregivers, and what we can do to change those patterns in adulthood. They discuss the key signs of emotional immaturity, including egocentrism, low empathy, and affective realism. Dr. Gibson then shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects children, often by leading to emotional disconnection and people-pleasing, and the consequences of these patterns in adult life. Topics include the problems with “just be more compassionate,” estrangement, balancing competing desires, and how to heal in adulthood by reconnecting with your feelings, letting go of old fantasies, and setting healthy boundaries.

About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: How Dr. Gibson defines emotional immaturity

6:45: Markers of emotional immaturity in parents

11:05: Emotional intelligence in children, loneliness, and regulating parents

19:05: The arc of recovery, responding to feelings with thoughts, and healthy guidance

31:00: Repeating patterns in relationships

36:15: Letting go of the healing fantasy, and when to take space

42:45: Estrangement, compassion, boundary setting, and becoming more authentic

58:45: When healthy change creates social pressure

1:01:55: Common misconceptions about emotional immaturity

1:06:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change.

Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: What is self-concept?

8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations

13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood

16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence

24:20: Common tropes for defending identity

30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self

34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs

40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good

47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self

53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust

56:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

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Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas.

Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: What is linking?

5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy

12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative

20:40: How to practice linking

31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’

39:30: The “erasure protocol”

53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself

1:02:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.

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Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?

13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?

20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?

33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?

41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?

49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?

56:00: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

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In one of my favorite conversations, bestselling author David Epstein joins the podcast to explore how to find your path in life, the problem with 10,000 hours, and why generalists triumph in a specialized world. David and I discuss why sampling different paths before specializing tends to lead to more fulfillment. David explains why feeling "behind" is actually normal for successful people who take non-linear paths, and how "fit looks like grit" when you find something that genuinely connects with your strengths and interests. We then detail how to identify good fits, a practical process for getting good at almost anything, and what helps create a breakthrough moment.

About our Guest: David Epstein is a bestselling author, science writer, and investigative reporter known for challenging conventional wisdom about peak performance. His books include Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World and The Sports Gene.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and summary of David’s work

1:25: The benefits of generalism and an unusual background

4:15: Feeling behind, and David vs. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours

11:40: Curiosity, transferable skills, and comfort with failure

21:40: Problems with specialization, and the value of consistent learning

27:10: Beginner’s mind and the eight lane highway

31:35: Finding what you want to do, and the value of constraint

41:35: Doing what’s in front of you, and Frances Hesselbein

45:55: How to actually get good at something

54:20: More on getting comfortable with failure

1:00:10: Autonomy, flow, and just picking something

1:04:00: What creates the “breakthrough moment”?

1:11:30: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

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Self-awareness is a good thing…right? In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore how we can stop overthinking and break the self-awareness trap: when knowing ourselves becomes an obstacle to change. They discuss the difference between reflection and rumination, the pitfalls of being "an expert on yourself," and why overthinking is often an avoidance mechanism disguised as problem-solving. Dr. Rick shares practical strategies for managing attention, setting boundaries around decisions, and cultivating an experimental mindset.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: When self-awareness gets in the way

8:15: Rumination vs. reflection

13:25: Developing passion for the ‘useful truth’, and working with obsession

16:45: Beginner’s mind and self-concept

25:15: The 90/10 approach to overthinking

31:15: Seeing what’s liberating, naming what’s important, seeing your full self

35:05: Managing your attention, and self-trust

42:00: Thinking vs. taking useful action

50:35: Letting yourself experiment

54:00: Self-acceptance, and having a spirit of openness

58:10: Avoiding the unknown  

1:00:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s never been more information out there about psychology, self-improvement, and mental health, making it easy to get lost in the details and lose sight of what matters. In this special episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick apply the 90/10 rule to psychology and self-help: what are the small handful of things that tend to make the biggest difference for people?

You’ll learn why most self-help advice should probably be ignored, how to simplify your approach to happiness and personal growth, and what actually moves the needle when it comes to feeling better, getting unstuck, and building a fulfilling life.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Putting the big rocks in first

8:40: Root factors of well-being

15:15: Satisfaction, and what helps us rest easy

26:05: Avoidance, and responding to our own objections

32:35: Finding what matters to you, spirituality, and creative expression

36:25: Small, consistent action

39:50: Relationships and the power of repair

43:00: Stress, self-regulation, and creating space around your thoughts

48:55: Identifying your broken link, and the role of integrity

53:30: Allostatic load, and acknowledging when you’ve done your best

1:00:00: Being on your own side, pursuit mindset, and benefiting others

1:03:40: Self-concept, and joining the defense

1:06:00: Bottom up regulation, and taking one thing at a time

1:10:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can improve focus and fix our attention spans in a world that is constantly trying to distract us. They discuss common reasons it’s hard to focus and three key interventions that can help most people. Rick teaches approaches from mindfulness practice, and Forrest explains how we can improve focus motivation and distress tolerance. Topics include ADHD, the role of dopamine, expanding the “Goldilocks Zone,” the practice of doing hard things, and how we can become less reliant on willpower.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

5:25: Three key areas where we seek focus

9:10: Self-belief and inner turmoil

14:10: Three factors for sustaining focus

20:50: The goldilocks zone, physical health, and emotional preoccupation

24:40: Difficulties with meditation and mindfulness

32:40: Willpower vs. motivation

40:20: Quieting the mind

41:25: Decreasing the reward value of our distractions

48:35: Being present with others

54:05: ‘Going wide’, self-compassion, and other tactics for completing tasks

1:02:10: Choice and rumination

1:06:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices