"In nrcissistic personalities the experience of emptiness is most intense...In these cases, emptiness, restlessnesss and boredom constitute...a baseline of pathological narcissistic experience." Otto Kernberg, M.D.

The personalityof the high level narcissist is built on a false grandiose self that begins when this individual is very young. This is particularly the case if he or she is a golden child, that person who is celebrated as perfect by the narcissist parent. This child is like a second coming, a time of triumph for the parent who is convinced that this baby is perfect, amost like a small god. The parent(s) projects his deepest wishes and needs onto this child who in many ways is considered a kind of royalty.

The child is treated differently from the other famil member. Brotheres and sisters of the golden one aren not given the lavish attention, a kind of adoration that is directed at this child. 

The chosen child is never corrected or admonished for bad behaviors, rather rationalizations and excuses are made for him.her. 

The budding narcissist grows up as a false self with an outward rsona that is boorishly self confident, even cocky. Along with these attributes, this golden child is never wrong, at fault never makes mistakes and takes full advantage of others. When the foundations of the peronality are based on the false self, the individual iis incapable of being psychologically grounded ortrue. The false elf rules these personalities. Beneath the surface in the unconscious of the golden child narcissist, the foundation is rocky, empty, lacking psychic roots or genuineness. This personality is ungrounded in reality and as a result the high level narcissist lives in a state of denial along with the use of many degense mechanisms: projection, repression. 

Those who are partnered with, married to or children of these false self narcissists cannot change them since this is a fixed personality constellation.  

At a point of insight and due to your research you recognize that you must choose to move forward and leave the narcissist.  You decide to choose yourself first, your individuality and your many creative gifts. You will no longer be controlled and intimidated by the faslse selves, the projections, multiple lies, rages, humiliations of the high level narcissist. 

Give yourself tremendous credit for your decisions to put yourself first, to heal and restore your true individual self. 

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