This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are coming to you from the Spotify studio at Cannes Lions! They kick off the episode with some highlights from the festival, before unpacking Part 2 of the Summer House reunion and the continued Carl and Lindsay drama. In other news, Justin Timberlake has been arrested in the Hamptons for a DWI… This is really going to ruin the world tour. Cayman’s poster boy Armie Hammer is attempting a comeback by reminding everyone he was accused of cannibalism. Maybe he can stay there for a while longer. Joe Alwyn makes a rare public statement about his former relationship with Taylor, and we’re actually not mad at it. Finally, Scooter Braun is officially a manager no more. What is he trying to get ahead of? Listen to hear our theories. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Joe Alwyn for keeping it so classy. And Justin is getting a time out in the Caymans until he can figure out how to call an Uber.

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The Betches are getting ready to head to Cannes next week! They’re ready for a week at Spotify Beach, where Jordana and Jared are going to be on a panel - they’re even on the same flier as John Legend. Helloooooo, legendary. We also hear the Kelce brothers are scheduled to attend too-- will the Betches end up in the presence of Taylor? We’ll report back. Speaking of Taylor, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived aka Matty Healy is engaged to model Gabbriette Bechtel, and we have a lot of thoughts, including a niche theory. From one troubling couple to the next– JLO and Ben Affleck are selling their $60 million dollar mansion. Is a divorce imminent? Why couldn’t they have bought a simple $15 million dollar cottage like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?! Has Jen Garner been secretly planting these press stories? Listen for our thoughts. Finally, they wrap up with a Summer House debrief including the Carl/ Lindsay and Amanda/Kyle of it all. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken is Ciara, because she showed up, looked ethereal, and had Kyle crying. West is taking a time out or maybe an uncomfortable coffee with Ben and JLO.

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All 3 betches are together IRL, and we have a lot to discuss today. So much news, so little time. JLO canceled her tour and tbh, we’re not distraught at all over it. Will this save her marriage? Good luck to her PR team. The Baldwins are coming to TLC – yes, you read that correctly. Mark your calendars for 2025. The three give their hot takes on the Traitors cast announcement, and of course we have to talk about the Summer House finale, and the Cheez Its VS Goldfish of it all. Betch of the Week goes to the casting department for Traitors. TLC was closing in as a second Betch of the Week. We’ll have to see how The Baldwins actually is first. Maybe the network will have a renaissance from this.

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We’re back betch and glad it’s a short week. Sami, Jordana and Aleen recap their Memorial Day Weekend and then give their congrats to Sofia Richie who just became a mom! Are nepo babies the new socialites? That’s the question we’re askin’. Our resident JLO representative Aleen gives the rundown on her recent clapback about her marriage during a press conference. We watched The Challengers and The Idea Of You. Yes we have some hot takes. Like, did they even have chemistry?! The episode wraps up with their recap of the VPR Finale. The Bravo producers will be sent to the Caymans and Billie Eilish is our Betch of the week. Sami can’t stop listening to her new album.

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Cheers betch, it’s almost Memorial Day Weekend.  It’s about to be the summer of Betches. Aleen’s oldest, Mila is ready for the pool and Jordana’s ready for the heat. Well, as the temps rise, one couple seems to be cooling down… JLO and Ben WTF is going on?! And, now Jennifer Garner is getting involved... From one couple to the next, are Taylor and Travis secretly engaged or is Trav not even planning an engagement? The Betches break down the crazy couple headlines. They wrap up with a quick Valley debrief, and Jordana and Sami’s hot takes of Anne Hathaway’s new movie, The Idea Of You.. which leads them to let you know that Harry Styles is single again. Delulu girlies rise up! Our Betch of the Week: Scarlett Johansson fighting against AI. We’re sending Bennifer to the Caymans and will be joined by the AI guy who screwed over ScarJo.

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Aleen is back from across the pond, which makes it perfect timing to discuss King Charles’ scary new royal portrait… It’s giving Carrie at prom. Hailey Bieber’s pregnant, and Benny Blanco is ready for kids, will Selena and Hailey be expecting at the same time? Speaking of couples, Sophie Turner is telling all to British Vogue about her divorce and friendship with Taylor Swift, leaving no stones unturned. Lots of new shows that we will be SAT for are coming: a Legally Blonde prequel, the Wicked movie and Pop Culture Jeopardy. Sign us up! How would we do?? Sound off in the reviews. Whoever didn’t submit the annual report for Harry and Meghan’s Archwell foundation will be sent to the Caymans, and Benny Blanco is our Betch of the Week.

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Aleen’s across the pond, but Sami and Jordana are here IRL. Guess what? Jordana moved again… lucky number 7! Now onto the event of the year… fashion’s biggest night– the MET Gala! Sami and Jordana share their favorite looks from the evening and introduce our new segment, Who Wore It Betch? Sponsored by Sparkling Ice. Was Zendaya their fave, and why was Kim K wearing a cardigan?! We have a lot of thoughts… From the MET to the GOAT– yes we’re talking about the epic roast of Tom Brady. Jordana gives her debrief after watching with Mike. Justice 4 Bridget Moynahan, listen and you’ll find out why. The two share which celebs they’d love to be roasted next, and the list is endless. The Betches wanna be roasted! Perhaps a joint 40th birthday founders roast? They wrap up with WTF is going on in the rap world aka Drake and Kendrick’s latest beef. Bring Esther Perel on to facilitate the roast of these guys. Therapy sessions are the new roast, we don’t make the rules. Our Betch of the Week is Tyla, because she had the best outfit, and got people to carry her up the stairs. Drake and Kendrick will be sent to the Caymans so they can work out their sh*t together Parent Trap style.

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We begin today’s episode with Sami’s celeb sightings and peak and pit from her time at the White House last week. Hint, one includes Jon Hamm. The Betches do a quick segue into The Valley, because Jax Taylor and Brittany were at the Correspondents Dinner… Switching gears from celebs in DC to NYC-- we’re less than a week away from the MET Gala. The 3 give their predictions on who will show up. And how miserable will Ben Affleck look? His wife is a co-chair of the evening after all… Then onto the IG comment that sent the internet spiraling: Barbra Streisand asking Melissa McCarthy if she’s on Ozempic. Then onto another quick Baby Reindeer recap because Jordana is curious. She also gives her Anyone But You review. Is Sydney Sweeney a good actress… or is she just really hot? Thus going into a convo on what their fave bad romcoms of all time are. Jax Taylor will be sent to the Caymans because he sent Brittany to a tantric sex expert. Wtf?! Barbra is our Lifetime Achievement Betch of the Week, because she made the internet funny during some dark times.

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Sami kicks off today’s episode coming at you live from DC. Then onto the album on everyone’s lips… The Tortured Poets Department, and what are our fave songs so far? We’re into petty Taylor (especially when she likes and then unlikes our IG post!) Speaking of petty, the Betches delve into the Kim K song drama of it all… Will Taylor ever get over it? Speaking of Kardashians, Kylie Jenner might be pregnant again! Listen and you’ll find out our theories on where her relationship with Timotheé stands. They wrap with a debrief on the hottest new show, Baby Reindeer, plus a Bravo recap. Nelson Peltz (Nicola’s daddy) will be sent to the Caymans for initiating and failing at his Disney takeover…. What is he so mad about? Betch of the Week of course, has to go to Tay, for the most streams in a day of her new album. She’s forever the Queen of breaking her own records.

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The original recipe is back, IRL. Aleen kicks things off with a revelation that one day, some day, she *will* turn 40, but at least she has a trip to Japan to look forward to. Of course, we have to discuss all things Taylor ahead of The Tortured Poets Department release. Even Jordana has to admit Tay and Travis looked really cute at Coachella. On a *not so shocking note * the Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner is getting a divorce after 3 months of marriage to Theresa Nist…. It’s giving Kim K and Kris Humphries. Our Betch of the Week is NCAA superstar Caitlin Clarke, who’s worth way more than she’s being given. Get your sh*t together WNBA. As for the Caymans? Gerry and Theresa are on their way, they knew this divorce was coming before they even got married…. We’re unable to be duped.

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