@Betches

Aleen and Jordana get together after a long hiatus of podcasting with each other. They talk about the Royal Wedding and how it cost around ~$40 million. At 16 minutes in, they start talking about Vanderpump Rules. At 21:19, they take a letter from a listener who's having issuing with their boyfriend who gets extremely annoying when drunk. It keeps happening. How does she make it stop? At 27:30, they take a second letter from someone who's sick of their co-worker getting preferential treatment. At 34:56, they play a couple of games including "would you rather attend the Royal Wedding or attend a Mumford & Sons concert"?

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It's a beautiful day in NYC. Sami and Jordana talk about the Markle debacle, a dysfunctional family drama of royal proportions. At 16:27, they move on to Met Gala drama. At 17:06, they play a new game called, "What's the deal with?" about Jennifer Aniston. Angelina Jolie is clearly image-obsessed. Sami can't decide whether she'd marry Angie or Jennifer. At 22:50, they take an email from a listener who still has friendly yearnings for an ex who blocked her.

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Aleen and Sami discuss the Met Gala and detail the best looking, most on point with the theme and more. Neither of them are sure how to pronounce SZA. At 13:21, they move on to Vanderpump Rules. At 24:20, they take a letter from a listener with a tumultuous friendship who uses her as a therapist. The worst part: she can't seem to take any of the advice that's given. After they take another letter from a girl whose ex-roommate attends the same school as her. Things get complicated after she started dating ex-roomie's cousin. Even worse, this is one once roommate with a serious propensity for negativity and sh*t talking.

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After briefly plugging every Betches podcast, Jordana and Aleen talk about Vanderpump Rules and reality TV. Jordana points out that if you're going to be on it, don't act like you're above it. The finale of Vanderpump happened last night. They agree that the Tom Tom plot line was awful. At 6:21, they briefly discuss Sweetbitter, a new show on Starz debuting this Sunday, May 6th. At 10:34, they move onto The Handmaid's Tale. Then at 12:30, there's some RHONY talk. They take a letter from a listener at 16;12 regarding a girl's friends who keep getting mad at her when she hooks up with a particular guy. Another listener is worrying she talks to her old friends too much via group chat.

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Sami and Jordana mourn the death of Avicii who defined their college years, along with Blackberry. After they briefly discuss the Royal Baby. At 6:38, they begin a brief journey to Bravo land, starting with RHONY. At 15:32, they move on to I Feel Pretty and a discussion of the culture around women's bodies and body positivity. After they plug Diet Starts Tomorrow, the Betches' new podcast about food and wellness. They take a letter from a listener who's been ghosted by her friend after a 4 day bender together in Mexico that went awry. Another listener has qualms with a roommate whose parents pay her rent and is now a life/fitness coach on Insta. This episode was brought to you in partnership with Three Olives Vodka. Enjoy Responsibly.

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Sami and Aleen just returned from Coachella. They mostly tanned, drank Three Olives Rosé vodka, and in Sami's case "pounded" bread. Aleen has but one Coachella "ragret", missing Queen Bey. They talk about the act everyone in Indio saw this weekend: people taking thousands of selfies. At 15:04, they move off Coachella into Vanderpump. At 18:38, they move on to Khloe's new baby and the drama with Tristan. Why can't Khloe pick a decent dude? Finally, they take a couple letters from listeners, the final one asking about when to have "the kids talk" with a potential partner. This episode was brought to you in partnership with Three Olives Vodka. Enjoy Responsibly.

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Jordana and Aleen talk Real Housewives of New York. Jordana recently binge-watched all 10 seasons. After, they talk about Jersey Shore: Family Reunion. They talk about reality TV for awhile and then take a letter from a listener seeking career advice. She's moving to a different city and isn't sure how to break up with her company. A second letter comes from a "relationship virgin" who asks how she should broach talking to her boyfriend about marriage and kids.

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After briefly discussing the weather, Sami and Jordana talk about Vanderpump Rules and offensive jokes (Vanderpump talk ends at 18:45). After, they move on to The Weeknd and how his new album references how he almost gave Selena Gomez a kidney. Sami says that it's obvious her heart is still with the Biebs (whose isn't tho?). After they take a letter from a listener asking about a new boyfriend who keeps talking to his ex. They wrap up answering a would you rather involving a guy you've been dating three weeks: donate a kidney or have his baby.

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Sami and Aleen are in amazing moods and they start off discussing Aleen’s new dog, a golden doodle. Sami reassures Aleen that it’s difficult to fuck up a dog compared to a kid - as long as you don’t let her watch Vanderpump. They discuss the latest episode and Scheana’s tendency to be overly communicative on vacay. After, they hate on the “money plot” aspects; it’s tough to feel like it’s “reality” when we know that Jax makes $30,000 an ep. They discuss the culture of Venmo and how it’s transformed how we relate to our friends owing us money and exposes people who are cheap. Finally, they take a few letters, including one where a listener’s boyfriend’s sister owes her money.

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After talking about Vanderpump Rules until 10:43, Jordana and Aleen move on to Evan Spiegel. Snapchat may or may not be on its way out, but they agree that girls have conquered it. They take a letter from a married listener who just moved in with her husband and is having some issues. Husband wants to get a house in the 'burbs, but she wants to be the fun couple living in the in the chic West LA apartment. Another listener, Ms. 'Bros Before This Betch' asks why guys break plans with girls so often? They end the pod with the would you rather question of the century: would you rather get shat on by a bird or receive a particularly disturbing dick pic.

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