This Complex Life

Big Fights Over Small Things?


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Ever had a small disagreement spiral into a huge argument? Maybe it started with an eye-roll, a forgotten text, or a messy kitchen bench. Suddenly, it’s not about the dishes—it’s about feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected.

Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I unpack why small fights often mask deeper issues, how to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict, and ways to handle disagreements that strengthen connection rather than push you apart.

Key takeaways:
  • Conflict isn’t just about the argument—it’s about the deeper needs and emotions underneath it.
  • Small issues left unresolved can build into resentment and disconnection.
  • Healthy conflict strengthens trust, while unhealthy conflict creates emotional distance.
  • The Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—can erode trust if left unchecked.
  • Repairing after a disagreement is more important than avoiding conflict altogether.
  • The way we handle fights can bring us closer or push us further apart.

If you’re interested in how to approach conflict in a way that builds connection rather than breaks it down, check out Episode 52 – It’s Not About the Fight—It’s How You Fight.

Resources:
  • The Gottman Institute – www.gottman.com

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!

Connected Teens

https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast

https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Mentioned in this episode:

Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset

https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

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This Complex LifeBy Marie Vakakis

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