This Complex Life

Have you ever wondered what supervision is all about and why it’s so important for mental health professionals? In this episode, I share my thoughts on the power of supervision, and how it helps mental health practitioners grow, avoid burnout, and improve their skills. Whether you’re in supervision now or looking to find the right supervisor, this episode is full of insights to get you thinking about how you can get the most out of the process.

I’ve been reflecting on my own experiences as both a supervisee and a supervisor, and in this episode, I explore the value supervision can bring to social workers and mental health professionals. Supervision is not just about ticking boxes; it's about critical reflection, growth, and making sure we’re giving the best possible care to our clients.

If you’re a mental health practitioner or professional, this episode is for you. Let’s explore the essentials of supervision and what to look for when choosing the right supervisor for your professional growth.

• Supervision is essential for maintaining high-quality practice and reducing the risk of burnout.
• It’s a space for reflection, learning, and understanding how we show up for our clients.
• Finding the right supervisor is crucial, and it can feel a lot like finding the right therapist.
• Supervision isn’t just about management – it’s about building your professional skills and supporting your wellbeing.
• It’s important to choose a supervisor who aligns with your values, areas of interest, and approach to practice.
• Some practitioners may not advertise heavily, but that doesn’t mean they’re not great supervisors – asking the right questions can help you find a good fit.
• Supervision can be flexible – you can opt for individual or group sessions, or even a mix of both.
• Supervision is a lifelong process – there’s always room to grow and learn.

Supervision is a crucial part of any mental health professional's journey, offering the opportunity for ongoing learning, growth, and preventing burnout. In this episode, I dive into the importance of finding the right supervisor and the many ways supervision can support both your professional and personal development. Whether you’re just starting out or have been practicing for years, supervision can help you provide better care for your clients and keep your own wellbeing in check.

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Have you ever asked your teen a question, only to be met with silence or a shrug? It’s frustrating, right? This is a common concern for parents. I hear this concern a lot. 

In this episode, I’m answering this common question I get from parents ‘’why won’t my teen talk to me?” 

I’ve heard so many parents share that they feel disconnected or rejected when their child turns to friends instead of them for support or advice. But here's the thing, t’s completely normal for teens to gravitate towards their peers, though that doesn’t make it any less painful for parents.

In this episode, I’ll be covering the most common mistakes that cause communication breakdowns and offering strategies to help rebuild that connection. You don’t have to feel stuck in a cycle of miscommunication. By making a few adjustments, it’s possible to create a space where your teen feels safe and comfortable opening up again.

• Fixing problems isn’t always the answer. Teens often just want to feel heard and understood.
• Too many solutions can overwhelm your teen and make them feel as if you don’t trust them.
• Judging or criticising, even about their friends, can shut down communication.
• Let your teen make mistakes—this builds resilience and trust.
• The shift from being a “manager” to a “consultant” and offering guidance without controlling.

Quotes:

• "People often don’t want their problems fixed. They just want to be heard, empathised with, and validated."
• "Frequent judgment ruptures that connection. And remember, connection is one of the most important things for a relationship."
• "Resilience comes from actually falling down, dusting yourself off, and getting back up—both physically and metaphorically."

Resources:

• Free eBook: My Teen Won’t Talk to Me
• Connected Teens™ Parenting Course

If you’re struggling with teen communication, this episode offers practical advice to help you reconnect with your child, even when it feels like you’re drifting apart.

The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

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Have you ever thought about sneaking a look at your teen’s diary? 

It’s something a lot of parents consider, especially when they're worried about their teen or feeling out of the loop. But is it the best move? 

In today’s episode, I’m digging into whether reading your teen’s private thoughts helps or harms your relationship, and how you can stay connected without crossing that line.

This episode covers the common question: “Is it okay to read my teen’s diary?” It’s a question I hear from parents who are desperate to understand what’s going on in their child’s life. While the temptation is understandable, I explain why breaching that boundary can cause more harm than good and share strategies for maintaining trust and communication with your teen.

Why It’s an Important Question

Many parents feel torn between wanting to respect their teen’s privacy and needing to know what’s happening in their life. This is an important question because it highlights the fine line between concern and control, and how actions like reading their diary can impact your relationship long term. From my work with teens and families, I’ve seen how breaking trust can lead to emotional distance, and it can be tough to rebuild.

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

• Why reading your teen’s diary can damage the trust between you
• How privacy violations affect their emotional development and future relationships
• Practical tips for keeping the connection strong without invading their personal space
• Strategies for managing your worries and having open, respectful conversations with your teen
• How to model healthy boundaries and respect, setting the example for your teen

My Experience and How I Can Help

I know it’s hard not to want to know everything about what’s going on with your teen, especially when they’re going through difficult times or pulling away from you. From working with many families, I’ve seen how important trust is in parent-teen relationships. Once that’s broken, it can be hard to get back. Instead of reading their diary, I’m here to offer some practical ways to build trust and foster openness. Whether it’s finding ways to stay connected through shared activities or starting conversations in a way that invites them to share, this episode is full of tips you can put into action straight away.

Ready to learn more?

If you’re looking for more support on how to build a stronger relationship with your teen, be sure to check out my Connected Teens™ program. There’s a live cohort starting soon, so don’t miss out on a chance to dive deeper into these strategies! And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with other parents who are navigating the tricky world of teen privacy and connection.

The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

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Connect with Marie

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I share a powerful concept that can transform your relationships – bids for connection. These small moments when someone reaches out, whether it’s your partner or your teen, can make all the difference in how we build trust and emotional intimacy. How we respond – whether we turn towards, turn away, or respond unkindly – shapes the quality of our relationships.

I explore how noticing and responding positively to bids can strengthen your connection, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or navigating the ups and downs of parenting teens. Drawing on both my own experience and the research of John and Julie Gottman, you'll learn how these interactions impact your mental health, emotional wellbeing, and the health of your relationships.

Whether you’ve been feeling disconnected in your relationship or want to understand your child better, this episode offers practical tools to help you notice bids for connection and turn towards them with kindness.

Key Takeaways:

• Bids for Connection: These are everyday actions or signals to establish connection. Learning to respond to them with care strengthens your bond.
• Turning Towards or Away: How you respond – with attention or indifference – plays a big role in maintaining emotional intimacy.
• For Couples: Positive responses to bids help you build trust and store up connection for harder times.
• For Parents: Teens’ bids may seem subtle or negative, but recognising and responding to them is key to strengthening your relationship.

Direct Quotes:

• "Bids for connection are one of the most powerful parts of a relationship. How we respond can make or break that connection."
• "We often get caught up in life, and miss those small moments where our loved ones are trying to reach out to us."

Be sure to listen in for more on how to improve your relationships through bids for connection!

Links:

• Join the Connected Teens 
• Have questions or feedback? Send me an email, and I might cover it in a future episode!

Submit a question to the Podcast

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Connect with Marie

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Have you ever wondered when the right time is to start couples therapy? Maybe you’re worried about what might come up, or whether it’s only for when things get really bad. In this episode, I break down the common fears around couples therapy and share why it can be beneficial long before things reach a crisis point. Whether you're curious about how couples therapy works or how to talk to your partner about going, this episode is packed with helpful insights.

I’ll cover what to expect when you walk into a couples therapy session, why it’s not just about airing your "dirty laundry," and how therapy can help you and your partner better understand each other, communicate more effectively, and feel more connected.

Key Takeaways:

• Couples therapy isn’t just for crises: It can be preventative and help you build a stronger relationship, even if things aren’t "bad."
• What to expect in your first session: I explain how I use an in-depth four-session assessment process to understand both individuals and the relationship.
• Common reasons couples seek therapy: From communication issues to navigating parenthood, sex and intimacy, or recovering from an affair—there are many reasons to consider therapy.
• Misunderstandings around couples therapy: We address the fear that one partner will be blamed, and how a therapist’s role is to facilitate understanding, not take sides.
• How to approach your partner about therapy: I share tips on how to start the conversation without making it feel like an attack or an ultimatum.
• Practical tools to improve communication: Learn how shifting from criticism to collaboration can change the dynamic of your relationship for the better.
• Working on your relationship solo: You can still go to therapy alone to work on yourself and your relationship if your partner isn’t ready or willing to join.

Resources:

• The Therapy Hub
• Gottman Institute - Resources on relationships and couples therapy
• Eight Dates book by Drs. John and Julie Gottman: A great read for couples looking to strengthen their relationship.

This episode is perfect for anyone who’s ever thought about couples therapy but wasn’t sure where to start or how to bring it up with their partner. By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of what couples therapy can offer and why it could be the best step forward for your relationship.

The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

Submit a question to the Podcast

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Connect with Marie

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Ever feel like your desire doesn’t match what you see in the movies, or that your sex life doesn’t quite stack up to what others seem to be experiencing? In this episode, I explore the many myths surrounding women’s sexual desire and why so much of what we believe is misleading. From the pressure to experience spontaneous desire to the myth of the perfect sexual encounter, I break down how these misconceptions can impact our relationships and our sense of self.

Drawing on the work of experts like John and Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, and Emily Nagoski, I’ll guide you through how emotional intimacy, open communication, and understanding different types of desire can help transform the way you think about sex and connection.

• Spontaneous desire isn’t the only kind of desire – responsive desire is just as valid and common, especially for women.
• There’s no such thing as a perfect sexual encounter – intimacy is often clumsy, messy, and filled with unexpected moments.
• Emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction are deeply connected. A strong friendship and open communication outside the bedroom can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
• Long-term relationships don’t have to kill desire – creating space for novelty, autonomy, and mystery can reignite attraction.
• Women are not the gatekeepers of sexual health in a relationship – sexual responsibility and desire maintenance is a shared effort.

• Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
• State of Affairs by Esther Perel
• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
• The Gottman Institute’s resources on emotional intimacy and connection
• The Love Deck App by John and Julie Gottman

The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

Submit a question to the Podcast

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We talk about fears and hesitation surrounding couples therapy. We discuss stigmas and misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need to nurture and grow their relationships.

In this episode 

• Belinda and I discuss the value of couples therapy 
• We talk about how to find the right therapist who can work with the specific challenges faced within your relationship.
• We discussed ways of navigating challenging conversations. 
• We talk about the importance of being curious rather than critical during difficult discussions.
• The role of individual therapy and how it can complement couples therapy 

Couples therapy can be a transformative experience for relationships, providing tools and insights to improve communication, connection, and conflict resolution. By being curious and seeking the right therapist, individuals can foster a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics. 

About Belinda Gibson

Belinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy.

Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision.

https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/

Blog post mentioned

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/is-it-too-late-for-couples-therapy-5-benefits-of-couples-therapy/

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Avril Cook, a clinical psychologist with a wealth of experience in mental health, family dynamics, and working with teens. We dive into the often tricky subject of how to talk to young people about sex, consent, and body autonomy. I'm excited to have Avril on the show because of her practical approach to these conversations, which can be challenging for both parents and teens. I appreciate her perspective on how starting these discussions early and making them part of everyday life can help demystify and destigmatise these topics. This episode is packed with valuable insights for any parent or caregiver looking to create a safe space for open dialogue with their kids.

• Starting the Conversation Early: Avril emphasises the importance of introducing topics like body autonomy and consent early in a child’s life to make these discussions more natural as they grow older.
• Building Trust Through Everyday Interactions: We discuss how parents can build a foundation of trust by being non-judgmental and open, encouraging their children to come to them with any issues, big or small.
• Navigating Awkward Conversations: Avril shares practical tips on how to handle the inevitable awkwardness when discussing sex and consent, including the value of engaging in these talks during shared activities rather than formal sit-downs.
• The Role of Gender in Conversations about Sex: We explore the different societal expectations placed on boys and girls regarding sexuality and how these can impact the way parents talk to their children.
• Repairing Communication Gaps: Avril offers advice on how parents can repair relationships with their teens if they feel they've mishandled previous conversations about sensitive topics.

Avril Cook is a clinical psychologist with her own practice, Bodhi and Psychology. She specialises in family dynamics, working with teens and adults, and providing consultation to organisations on mental health and workplace wellness. Avril is passionate about helping parents navigate the complexities of raising children in today’s world.

Bodhi & Psychology Pty Ltd

Clinical Psychology | Training | Supervision | Research | Consultation  

www.bodhiandpsychology.com.au

 @bodhiandpsychology

Submit a question to the Podcast

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As a parent or guardian, talking to kids and teens about sex, consent, and relationships can feel overwhelming, especially if these topics were never discussed in your own upbringing. In this solo episode, I delve into the common questions I receive from parents about how to navigate these essential conversations.

From the basics of when to start talking about sex to the importance of consent and respect, I share practical tips and insights to help you feel more confident and prepared. Whether you're raising little ones or navigating the teenage years, it's never too late to start these discussions and create a safe space for open communication.

• Start Early: Begin conversations about bodies, privacy, and consent from a young age, gradually building on these topics as your child grows.
• Be Honest and Age-Appropriate: Answer questions truthfully while keeping the information suitable for your child’s developmental stage.
• Normalise the Conversation: Use everyday moments, like TV shows or real-life situations, to naturally introduce topics related to sex and relationships.
• Respect Boundaries: Teach your children about the importance of personal boundaries and consent, and model this behaviour in your daily interactions.
• Lead by Example: Show your kids what healthy communication and respect look like by practising these values yourself.
• Stay Calm and Open: Approach these conversations without judgement or criticism, and encourage your child to ask questions whenever they need to.
• Use Reputable Resources: Direct your children to trustworthy sources of information if they’re hesitant to talk directly with you, and ensure they understand how to evaluate the reliability of what they find online.

Other relevant episodes 

https://marievakakis.com.au/why-doesnt-my-teen-listen-to-me-anymore/ 

• Raising Children Network: Trusted advice on talking to kids about sex and relationships.
• Scarleteen: Inclusive and comprehensive resources for teens on sex, sexuality, and relationships.

Feel free to reach out with your questions or share your thoughts with me about this episode—I’m here to help you navigate this important part of parenting!

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Dr. Sarah Ashton, a psychologist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS). I'm excited about this guest because of her unique approach to addressing sexual health through a psychological lens. I like her work because it doesn't shy away from the topics that often make us uncomfortable but are essential for our wellbeing. We dive into the common misconceptions about sex and relationships, and why it's so important to talk openly about these issues. Dr. Ashton shares insights into the "sexual scripts" we've all internalised, often without realising it, and how they shape our intimate lives.

• Sexual Scripts: We discuss how these learned patterns influence our expectations and behaviours in sexual relationships.
• Misconceptions About Sex: Dr. Ashton talks about the rigid beliefs around sex, such as the notion that it must end in orgasm, and how these ideas can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction.
• The Role of Culture in Sexual Beliefs: An exploration of how cultural background impacts our views on sex and relationships.
• Mindfulness and Sensation in Sex: Practical tips on how to reconnect with your body and improve intimacy through mindfulness.
• The Challenge of Finding the Right Therapist: Guidance on how to navigate the search for a therapist who is a good fit for discussing sexual health.

Dr. Sarah Ashton is a psychologist and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS), the first practice in Australia focused on sexual health from a psychological perspective. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Ashton has been instrumental in creating spaces for open discussions about sex and relationships, offering evidence-based therapies and training.

• Book: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski – A highly recommended read for understanding sexual function with easy-to-understand language and practical exercises.
• Website: https://www.shipspsychology.com.au/ – Visit for blogs, resources, and information on sexual health and intimacy.
• https://sexual-health-intimacy-psychological-training.teachable.com/p/sexual-health-and-intimacy-training-community.  
• Instagram: – Follow for regular insights and information on sexual health topics.

The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

Submit a question to the Podcast

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Connect with Marie

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https://marievakakis.com.au/

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