I once thought I could have it all — run a business, be a supportive spouse, keep my kids with me 24/7 until they started preschool, and still (somehow) squeeze in enough self-care to help me remember who I was apart from all those roles. Ha! 

Needless to say, I was incredibly naive. For the first few years of becoming a mom, having already established the business, I thought I could work while the kids took a nap or played. I thought I didn’t need to “waste time” on doing things for myself out of pure enjoyment and frivolity. I thought I could be a great wife, mom, and CEO all at the same time. It was a lofty goal and, as I eventually — begrudgingly — had to admit, it was not a realistic goal to have.

In February 2023, I had reached a complete state of utter burnout after nearly four years of trying to do it all by myself, as though I were trying to earn a badge of honor for requesting and accepting the least amount of help possible. I was a natural at doing things the hard way, and I turned myself into a martyr. I kept a secret scoreboard of who was actually doing more around the house — me or my husband — and I felt the overwhelming desire to insert myself into every situation. I didn’t know it then, but I was incredibly controlling. It almost cost me my marriage, and it certainly didn’t make me a good mom or role model for my son and daughter.

I knew there had to be a better way to live, but I didn’t think I had the time or ability to slow down and figure it all out. How could I fix it when I wasn’t sure what the problem was?

“It shouldn’t be this hard!” and “I have no time!” and “I’m just trying to help!” were a few things I constantly said to myself between moments of lucidity and chronic exhaustion. After all, I had (and still have) a tremendous number of blessings: My family, their health, my health, a beautiful home, a successful business. Complaining about anything sounded very pretentious and entitled, so I tried not to say much. I just became a quietly bitter, stressed-out human being. 

If you feel pulled in too many directions and if you constantly berate yourself for struggling so hard, or if you keep a personal scoreboard between you and your spouse (and frequently find them to be lacking) this episode is for you. The year 2023 was transformative for me, and I’m so excited to share with you what I learned in the hope that you will be able to avoid some stress and heartache.