Y'all, I have truly enjoyed my time with Jed :) In this last installment, we see Jed navigating the path of coming clean - again - to friends and family about relapsing again. I have been there so many times...letting people down - AGAIN. Jed shares candidly and vulnerably about the end of his marriage, the insidious return of Kratom into his life and his desperate attempts to get on vivitrol and fully embrace fatherhood. Let me know what you think!

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**depiction of injury and intense skin burn from 46:50 to 47:10

Meet David Riggins! David enlisted in the military the day after 9/11. An early boot camp training injury led to an early medical discharge and prescriptions for morphine and dilaudid. When the US government began cracking down on pain clinics, David was cut off from his legal prescription. David turned to street drugs to mitigate the intense withdrawal. That began a 20 year long addiction filled with stints in jail, homelessness and broken relationships. In December 2022, while nodded out on fentanyl, David experienced an accident that left him an amputee. That's when he had finally had enough. Please let me know what y'all think!

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I can't wait for you guys to meet today's guest, Ashley Walls. I heard Ashley share at a Twelve Step Meeting a few months ago and was absolutely blown away. At just 21 years old, her wisdom and self awareness are remarkable.

Ashley's father was in prison when she was very young, then got out and was sober for many years. Ashley went with him to meetings and fell in love with the program from the sidelines.

After nine years sober, her father's relapsed, sending Ashley spiraling. Consciously deciding to begin using substances, Ashley was strung out on benzos by the time she was 18. An early relationship tragedy led to suicidal ideation and and her first foray into substance abuse treatment. Ashley spent the next few years in and out of treatment and relapsing. Eventually landing at a women's facility in San Diego, there she met Polina White, a friend that would change her life. Through their friendship, Ashley and Polina were able to support each other in early sobriety and both began rebuilding their lives with their newfound friendship as the foundation. Tragically, in September 2021, Polina drowned while swimming at the Corona del Mar beach while Ashley was visiting family in LA. Though devastated, Ashley managed to stay sober through her grief and recently celebrated three years of sobriety. Ashley still credits her friendship with Poline as a cornerstone in her recovery and together with Polina's family, started a scholarship fund in Polina's name. The Polina Fund raises money to send women in need to substance abuse and mental health treatment. Ashley's grasp and insight into the steps, as well as her dedication to service work in recovery, have truly inspired me, and I think she will inspire you too.

I can't wait to hear what you all think of Ashley's episode!

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Part Two!

My husband's story continues...Part One ended with Sky landing in San Diego and beginning the recovery years of his life. Making sober friends, finding a career, and actually working a Twelve Step program for the first time, Sky began his sober journey. We got married, opened our business, his father passed away...basically life happened and Sky's program waned over the years as he got busier and more stressed. Today's episode catches us up today, we celebrated his one year sober last week and the journey continues. Thank you all so much for being a part of my life and for caring about Sky :)

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(If listening through headphones, the first 16 minutes are difficult to hear my husband, but then it evens out - stay with me!!)

Part One of my husband's incredible story. Sky grew up in an affluent area of Northern California, spending summers at the family home in Nantucket, surrounded by wealthy families and privilege. A gifted athlete, a knee injury at sixteen threw his entire world off course. Strung out on oxycontin and kicked out of high school his senior year, Sky's world completely crumbled. By the time he was 18 he was doing his first jail term and had a felony strike in California. Not even being extradited at 22 from Florida to California by US Air Marshals and accused of homicide didn't stop his escalating drug use. Part One brings us to Sky turning 29 and beginning a new treatment center in San Diego, the year he also met me. I REALLY want to hear what you guys think of my husband's episode...I am BEYOND proud of him and his vulnerability and strength in this episode.

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As some of you know, last year my husband went through a gnarly relapse - it was HELL on both of us. He spent very little time in our home in 2023 and I was desperate to hide that fact. This week last year, I released an episode sharing what was really going on and that I didn't know if my marriage was going to work. I was in a place of heartbreak and resignation, but also determination to start making moves to stand on my own - without him if need be.

When I released this, he had resurfaced from Mexico, dirty, picked up, emaciated and sick. I allowed him to sleep in the living room downstairs with all of my valuables locked in my car, keys in my bra, while I tried to find him a detox we could afford. Over the ensuing weeks, two things happened - one, we couldn't afford anything nor get him into a free detox, and two, he actually seemed to be finally beaten. Cut to this past Monday, September 2nd 2024, he just celebrated one year sober. I interviewed him on Monday and that episode will release next week. Today's episode is the episode I released last year at this time. I wanted to revisit this time together to catch up anyone who is new to the show, but also to share the true miracle that is recovery. I was totally resigned to the end of my marriage and through recovery, Scuyler has totally turned things around.

The second half of the episode is a breakdown of the Twelve Steps, specifically for anyone who is interested in getting sober but has heard terrible things about the Twelve Step community (AA, NA, HA, etc)

(Twelve Step breakdown begins at 35:40 if you would like to jump to it :)

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If you have ever dealt with heartbreak in recovery, this episode is for you. I had the opportunity to interview my long time friend, Ivey, who got sober at 18 years old. We go through her childhood and early drug use in the first hour, and in the second hour, we delve into her marriage and motherhood at just 22 years old with a few years sober, and her subsequent divorce by 27. Ivey is so incredibly vulnerable and honest in sharing her experience with heartbreak and then dating in sobriety, and I am so proud of her.

Ivey and I also talk about our recent separation in our friendship...if you have been listening to the show for a while, you have probably heard me mention a friend that I have missed and have often expressed deep regret about losing - this is who I was talking about. Ivey and I had the opportunity to make amends to each other and I while I hate that we had a disagreement in the first place, I love that in real time you all were able to walk with me through a crushing friend breakup and then see it resolved...through recovery, we can restore and repair important relationships and it's a beautiful thing. :)

As always, please let me know your thoughts! DM me on Instagram, or email [email protected]

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Part Two with Jed Payne! Y'all LOVED part one - today we pick up with Jed right where we left him, in East Baton Rouge Parish Prison...which is as terrifying as it sounds. We travel with Jed from prison, back into sober livings, back down kratom and suboxone roads, and into a sober relationship that ultimately ends in relapse and heartbreak. In Part THREE (yes, three!) we will finally see Jed's happy ending - which I assure you, finally finds him :)

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Ooooh, Y'ALL. This one goes HARD! I was not expecting the crazy stories I heard from Jed Payne, the host of podcast, "Church & Other Drugs." Jed was raised in the bible belt, with the influence of Christianity strong in both the community and within his home. Shooting heroin for the first time at 15, by the time he was in his mid-twenties, Jed had been to over 20 rehabs, all to no avail. Throughout his active addiction, his faith remained a beacon of hope, continuously showing up for him when he needed comfort. Today is part one of Jed's story - let me know your thoughts! DM me on IG, email [email protected] or leave comments on Spotify!

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Welcome back to another episode of Chasing Heroine! Y'all will love RJ Elizarraz, owner of Oak Forest Recover in Agoura Hills and host of the "Against All Odd's" podcast with Rachel Slocum and Hunter Sheppard.

I may have related more to RJ's story than any other guest. The details of our lives are completely different, but his feelings about not needing traditional recovery because of being so incredibly special :) is exactly how I felt as well.

After finding himself strung out on heroin over and over again, RJ finally found lasting recovery through connection with other men in a truly accidental sober living.

Let me know your favorite part of RJ's story!

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