Church of Lazlo Podcasts

We assumed Lazlo would come rolling in here today carrying money bags but I guess he's waiting on a blockbuster to do a better than Top Gun. *It's time to learn something new! Schools set benchmarks for kids based on their age but there's no reason adults shouldn't do the same for themselves. Today, we'll share the things we learned in our 30's. *Doomscrolling! There are still way too many unanswered questions about the school shooting in Texas. Meanwhile, Dems are going to try and pass some new laws but we've already seen how this plays out. The Bob Dylan memorabilia market is red hot! *Slimfast explains why you should never pay for your food in advance. *Nick Wright is on the program and he's offering (almost) everyone a job! *You look handsome. I trust you. Go out with your friends. I'll get the check. You remind me of my dad. *Thanks for listening to the podcast! Tell a friend or two and please follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo We also have a subreddit we'd love for you to join, r/churchoflazlo See you tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!!

Our friend Bryan is back with another article and this time it's telling ladies what they should say to their man and what they want to hear. Can you think of any Bryan missed?

Our good buddy Nick Wright from First Things First on FS1 calls in to air some grievances

Nah, just kidding we didn't....yet. But a lot of other people have and it's led to some awkward experiences. Slimfast shares one that just happened to him at a pizza place

All of the news you will ever need in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

What's something you learned or figured out in your 30's?

Welcome back! We talk about the record breaking box office weekend at the movies

Snowcone surprised Lazlo with a gift today! Unfortunately, that gift bag did not include cigarettes. *Do you steal from the self-checkout? You're not alone. You might want to be careful though because Walmart is starting to crack down. *Doomscrolling! More updates on the school shooting in Texas. Many Apple employees are about to get a raise. The NRA convention is happening but Lee Greenwood won't be performing. Ellen said goodbye yesterday. Kevin Spacey is in more trouble. The Johnny and Amber trial is done. Just waiting on those results from the jury. *Nick Wright is on the show! He's got a big dinner party tonight and he can't keep his guest waiting. *Way too many Americans think they could beat a grizzly bear in an unarmed fight. *If you're planning on visiting the United States soon, we've got some tips for you to make your stay more enjoyable. *That's a wrap! Have a great Memorial Day weekend and we'll see you Tuesday. -Everybody Wang Chung!!

Well, this can't be good. We walked into the studio today and someone has changed all of our phones. They changed our text line number, our request line, and the hotline without telling any of us. Lazlo just checked with our boss(?) but he couldn't help. As a matter of fact, he informs us that the other stations in the building got to keep their phone numbers. They only changed our numbers and they did it to "save money". This can't be good. Oh well, the show must go on (hopefully). *How late is too late? You never want to be the first person at the party but you also don't want to be the one who gets there right as everyone is leaving. Good news! There's a formula you can use to figure out exactly how late you should arrive. *Doomscrolling! You know a lot of people died when we're still talking about a mass shooting two days later. Not enough for the NRA to postpone their party obviously. Johnny Depp v Amber Heard will come to an end tomorrow. Will the CourtTV app just vaporize once it's over? *PornHub has been around for 15 years! Fun fact, if you combine all the time you've spent on PornHub it would equal 15 years. *Gentlemen, shirtless pics in your dating profile are a no-go. *How was that? We tried our best to ignore the writing on the wall about our jobs and discuss something other than the school shooting. How'd we do? We'll try harder tomorrow. That should be our mission statement. -Everybody Wang Chung!!