Church of Lazlo Podcasts

We're back! There's nothing better than hearing the sound of that electric lock turning its gears and that little light flashing green after you hold up your keycard for the first time on Monday morning. The second best feeling is probably when you're paying for your stuff with a long line of people behind you and the credit card screen flashes "Approved" even though you'd had your doubts. Anyway, it's good to be here! *Fact: Riding on a tap-dancing horse makes a guy way hotter. In case you didn't already know this, Julia will explain why. *Everyone knows that men tend to have a lot of gaps when it comes to their knowledge about the female body but it seems women have their fair share of erroneous information being circulated about the male form. *Doomscrolling!!! The United States is now the recipient of foreign aid from countries kind enough to help us feed our babies. Amber's team wants Johnny back on the stand to take another crack at him. Move other Catholics, the Southern Baptists are here. If you see a large bear in your yard, don't open a window and shout insults in its direction. Gas for Guns was a success!! Because it's a difficult question that will require some amazing minds to answer, the Supreme Court of New York will have to decide whether or not elephants are human. *Nick Wright is on the program! He's having a stressful day but we've seen him survive worse. *Did you ever notice that Sam Neill was way older than Laura Dern in Jurassic Park? You would have if you weren't a geriatric supporter of the patriarchy. *Halsey was told she needed to go viral and she obeyed. *That's a wrap! Follow us on social media @churchoflazlo and please come back tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!

Our old buddy Nick Wright from Fist Things First on FS1 calls in to air some grievances

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

Some personal questions that women have always wanted to ask men. Any that we missed that you've always been curious about?

Do kids still have to invite every kid in their class to their birthday party? Remember that? That was always so awkward

Julia's friends boyfriend is an equestrian and she thinks it's an attractive quality. The guys couldn't disagree more

Yo! It's Friday and we're kicking things off with a poem. Slimfast wants to get everyone's thoughts on this hot guy who's been hitting on his friend. *Storytime! If you've got a story request, just swing by our subreddit (r/churchoflazlo) and add it to the list. Lazlo was the luckiest guy to ever drive around without a license. *Doomscrolling!! Elon Musk prefers to pay people in horses rather than setting up a Venmo account or driving to the atm. Your future car might be DUI proof. The 911 dispatcher in Buffalo has been put on leave. This is all a simulation. *Most people think of ghosting as something that happens on Tinder but who says you can't ghost your spouse? *A music teacher replaces another music teacher who was fired for inappropriate sexual contact with students but the new teacher goes and does the same thing. *Quit shopping on your phone in bed. It's costing you a fortune. *Do women just not care about hot guys?! Is that what you're trying to tell me?? Quit being ridiculous! *That's a wrap! Julia could really use some theme party recommendations if you get a minute this weekend. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and check out www.lazlo.church  See you Monday! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

A major league baseball pitcher ghosted his wife and the guys think he's a genius. Julia is less than thrilled with them.

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