• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor talks about ways to keep things spicy in your First Responder/LEO relationship!
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Forms of Connection: Verbal, Emotional, and Physical
• “It’s Not About the Nail” video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor came up with a list of certain things that first responder spouses roll their eyes at!
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• List summary: backs to the wall, full moon, dark humor, view on life, creative language, free or donated food, movie criticism, not knowing first names, being really early, don’t walk on the gun side, and commenting on cars and their violations.
• October 21st in Highland Village, Texas: Texas Police Chiefs Association’s Fallen Officer Fund: http://txfallenpd.com/777/Fallen-Officers-Bike-Race-and-5K
• Online Auction: https://www.32auctions.com/2017HVPDOnlineAuction
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor talks about ‘frustration aggressive displacement syndrome’ or more commonly known as the ‘kick the cat syndrome’. This is especially common in First Responder and LEO couples.
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Gottman “Turn Toward Me”: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/
• Alpena, Michigan: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpena,_Michigan
• Kick the Cat Syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kick_the_cat
• Frustration Aggression Displacement Syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frustration%E2%80%93aggression_hypothesis
• Dealing with the frustration steps: 1) Recognize that it’s happening and breathe, 2) State your feelings, 3) Any thoughts to be changed
• Receiving the frustration steps: 1) Don’t respond, 2) Breathe, 3) Revisit It
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor shares her “sponge story” and talks about how things aren’t always what they seem. Communication is so important, especially when we aren’t sure of all the facts of the situation.
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Seinfeld Sponge Worthy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfQBKB4s1ks
• Be aware of your own stories versus the facts.
• Try and pause to think about the facts and your interpretation.
• It’s not always about you.
• Check things out with your partner.
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, continues the discussion on hypervigilance. She talks about the affects it has on the relationships of first responders and their partners along with the affects that it has on them physically, emotionally, and socially.
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Last Week’s Episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-11-hypervigilance
• Victoria Newman Blog: http://www.how2loveyourcop.com/
• “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Kevin Gilmartin - https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505331271&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+survival+for+law+enforcement
• Cortisol: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, talks about what hypervigilance is, the process of it, and the biological effects that it has on our officers and first responders. This is going to be part one of a two part podcast.
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Hypervigilance - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance
• “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Kevin Gilmartin - https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505331271&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+survival+for+law+enforcement
• OODA Loop Podcast - http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda
• FTO - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_Training_Officer
• CHL - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concealed_carry_in_the_United_States
• RAS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reticular_activating_system
• Sympathetic Nervous System - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_nervous_system
• Vasodilation - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasodilation
• Newton’s Third Law - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton%27s_laws_of_motion
• Parasympathetic Nervous System -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasympathetic_nervous_system
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses the importance for first responders and law enforcement officers to open up to their spouses and partners, since keeping things in can have more consequences than they may realize. Not only can “bottling things up” harm your mental health but it can take a toll on your physical and emotional health as well and unfortunately that affects your significant others. Cyndi talks about four steps to create a healthy habit in opening up to your spouse or partner and build a better connection. They include: start small, share something that’s slightly uncomfortable, find some emotional content about you and not about the public, and then if you want bonus points you’re going to share why you have that emotional content.
• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Last week’s podcast episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-9-making-space-for-your-leo
• Inside Out Movie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_(2015_film)
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Rehab Unit for First Responders: http://www.firstrespondersrecovery.com/police-officers/
• Brene Brown – The Power of Vulnerability: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
• Brene Brown – Empathy Cartoon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
• Four ways to ‘Make Space’ for your LEO or First Responder: 1. Listen to the story and suggest emotion 2. Ask open-ended questions 3. Empathize with any emotion that you’re hearing 4. Shut Up.
• Deep conversation = more intimacy
• LEO and First Responder marriages have a 60% divorce rate
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Numbing: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/numbing Recovery: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/recovery
• OODA Loop Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda
• Hypervigilance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance
• Brene Brown: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bren%C3%A9_Brown
• No-Doz: http://www.nodoz.com/Caffeine_caplet.html and Adderall: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall
• Candy Crush: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Crush_Saga
• Balance between taking care of yourself and numbing out.
• QVC: http://www.qvc.com/
• Get curious about what you might be avoiding.
• Set up some recovery rituals. Recovery is a necessity.
• EAP - https://www.opm.gov/faqs/QA.aspx?fid=4313c618-a96e-4c8e-b078-1f76912a10d9&pid=2c2b1e5b-6ff1-4940-b478-34039a1e1174
• My website: code4couples.com
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• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Anxiety - https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anxiety
• Xanax - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam
• Forms of anxiety - anger, depression, worry, and addiction
• Stinkin-Thinkin - https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-top-10-types-of-stinkin-thinkin/
• Cognitive Traps - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_traps_for_intelligence_analysis
• Fight or Flight - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
• Amygdala - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala
• Cortisol - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol
• Bob Newhart: Stop It - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
• Kristin Neff - http://self-compassion.org/
• John Gottman - https://www.gottman.com/
• Tips to deal with anxiety: 1. Breathe. 2. Acknowledge the feeling and the thought. 3. Spin the belief. 4. Reach out to support system. 5. Change behavior. 6. Talk to your spouse.
• EAP - https://www.opm.gov/faqs/QA.aspx?fid=4313c618-a96e-4c8e-b078-1f76912a10d9&pid=2c2b1e5b-6ff1-4940-b478-34039a1e1174
• My website: code4couples.com
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