Code4Couples

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Rehab Unit for First Responders: http://www.firstrespondersrecovery.com/police-officers/
• Brene Brown – The Power of Vulnerability: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
• Brene Brown – Empathy Cartoon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
• Four ways to ‘Make Space’ for your LEO or First Responder: 1. Listen to the story and suggest emotion 2. Ask open-ended questions 3. Empathize with any emotion that you’re hearing 4. Shut Up.
• Deep conversation = more intimacy
• LEO and First Responder marriages have a 60% divorce rate
• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

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• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Numbing: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/numbing Recovery: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/recovery
• OODA Loop Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda
• Hypervigilance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance
• Brene Brown: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bren%C3%A9_Brown
• No-Doz: http://www.nodoz.com/Caffeine_caplet.html and Adderall: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall
• Candy Crush: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Crush_Saga
• Balance between taking care of yourself and numbing out.
• QVC: http://www.qvc.com/
• Get curious about what you might be avoiding.
• Set up some recovery rituals. Recovery is a necessity.
• EAP - https://www.opm.gov/faqs/QA.aspx?fid=4313c618-a96e-4c8e-b078-1f76912a10d9&pid=2c2b1e5b-6ff1-4940-b478-34039a1e1174
• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

          LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/

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                        Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Anxiety - https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anxiety
• Xanax - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam
• Forms of anxiety - anger, depression, worry, and addiction
• Stinkin-Thinkin - https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-top-10-types-of-stinkin-thinkin/
• Cognitive Traps - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_traps_for_intelligence_analysis
• Fight or Flight - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
• Amygdala - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala
• Cortisol - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol
• Bob Newhart: Stop It - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
• Kristin Neff - http://self-compassion.org/
• John Gottman - https://www.gottman.com/
• Tips to deal with anxiety: 1. Breathe. 2. Acknowledge the feeling and the thought. 3. Spin the belief. 4. Reach out to support system. 5. Change behavior. 6. Talk to your spouse.
• EAP - https://www.opm.gov/faqs/QA.aspx?fid=4313c618-a96e-4c8e-b078-1f76912a10d9&pid=2c2b1e5b-6ff1-4940-b478-34039a1e1174
• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

          LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/

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                        Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor
• Ernesto Segismundo: https://www.fylmit.com/
• B-roll: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-roll
• Perspective: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/perspective
• Teddy Roosevelt: https://quotefancy.com/quote/33048/Theodore-Roosevelt-Comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy
• OODA Loop: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

                       http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda

• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

          LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/

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                        Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle from Code4Couples with special guest Lisa Lerner from Bless the Badge
• Bless the Badge Website: http://blessthebadge.com/
• Adopt –a-Cop: http://adopt-a-cop.org/
• In Faith Ministries: https://www.infaithministries.org/
• 501C3: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/501(c)_organization
• Police Chaplain: http://www.pastoralcounseling.org/career/police-chaplain

https://www.policeone.com/police-jobs-and-careers/articles/5728400-How-police-chaplains-can-serve-your-community/

• Allison Uribe “Wives on Duty”: http://www.wivesonduty.com/
• “Cuffs and Coffee” by Allison Uribe - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MY7Y044/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
• Allison Uribe’s First Book “Because I’m Suitable: The Journey of a Wife on Duty”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007QEL0UC/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
• Sam Browne Belt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Browne_belt
• Bless the Badge Events are FREE!
• Police marriages have an 85% divorce rate
• Isolation is never good.
• Bless the Badge’s goal is to give hope.
• There’s a different challenge in each stage.
• When he signs up – you sign up too.
• The Blue Family is the biggest family!
• Be flexible and learn about hypervigilance.
• Sign Up for the Bless the Badge Workshops here: http://blessthebadge.com/events/
• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

          LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/

          Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/

                        Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – therapist, educator, blogger, and LEO wife
• Duomo in Milan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duomo
• Oxytocin - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin
• When trying to have a moment with your LEO but they are off in their own world… what is that? : OODA Loop - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop
• Observe, Orient, Decide and Act
• Colonel John Boyd coined OODA Loop -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Boyd_(military_strategist)
• Observe – constantly scanning surroundings
• Orient - information gets run through a mental filter
• Decide – choosing what’s the best option to take care of the potential danger
• Act – the action that is taken to take care of the danger
• Be empathetic and understanding of the mental exhaustion that this can cause to your LEO or first responder.
• Blog Post: https://code4couples.com/why-crowds-and-lines-can-be-overwhelming-the-ooda-loop/
• Open up a conversation about the OODA Loop with your LEO or first responder.
• My website: code4couples.com
• Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/

          Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en

          LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/

          Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/

          Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – therapist, educator, blogger, and LEO wife
• Keep your marriage safe from affairs – how they happen and how to prevent them
• Facts about affairs and myths about affairs: connection, women in the workplace, social media, and even happy marriages can have affairs
• Emotional and physical affairs
• The Slow Slide
• “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself”
• Boundaries – what’s okay and what’s not okay
• Intimate conversation is a must – get curious!
• “Love Languages” by Gary Chapman - http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
• Transparency – secrets open windows
• My website: code4couples.com

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – Licensed Professional Counselor and Law Enforcement Officer Wife
• Plans to go see U2 in concert with my brother while my husband was working
• As significant others of first responders or LEOs, we condition ourselves to fit their world.
• Psychology 101: Skinner’s Box / Operant Conditioning - https://www.simplypsychology.org/operant-conditioning.html
• Conditioning or automatic response could be positive or negative. Negative conditioning could lead to resentment.
• John and Julie Gottman, couples experts, “Masters of Relationships and Disasters of Relationships” – contempt in the relationship - https://www.gottman.com/
• State what your needs are and how you are feeling.
• Come up with a compromise by honoring each other’s core need. Share what areas you are flexible in and areas that you are inflexible in.
• Don’t forget your balance – the relationship needs along with your personal needs.
• My website: www.code4couples.com

• Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck”
• Cyndi Doyle – Licensed Professional Counselor and Law Enforcement Officer Wife
• My husband became an officer after we got married and I went through that journey with him from the beginning.
• September 2001 – Trip to New York for a wedding.
• It took us awhile to really understand each other’s world in our careers.
• OODA Loop - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop
• The book “On Killing” by Dave Grossman - https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=on+killing+the+psychological+cost&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=177084902846&hvpos=1t1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16970262652746620086&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027252&hvtargid=kwd-11913760487&ref=pd_sl_95qhhn8ycm_b
• “Off duty isn’t off duty” – the start of creating Code4Couples.
• Keeping your relationship Code 4, educate on police culture and mental health of the officers and their significant others.
• My website – code4couples.com