The second episode of Loving BDSM focuses on communicating with your Dominant partner. Another week with host Kayla Lords, but John Brownstone promises to make an appearance soon.

From this episode…

* John Brownstone isn’t a figment of Kayla’s imagination. He must be real, he even has a website (http://southernsirsplace.com).

* Submissives often ask “how to talk to my Dominant” which is confusing. Don’t you already know how to talk to them? How else did you become their submissive?

* Signs of a bad relationship versus signs your fears are getting in the way of communicating.

* Real steps Kayla uses to discuss important topics with John Brownstone – from adding kinky fuckery to their relationship to a full renegotiation. You can use them, too!

* Keep communicating! Even the small conversations are important.

Prefer YouTube? Listen here!

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 2. Today we’re discussing communication as a submissive and how to talk to your Dominant. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. John Brownstone isn’t a figment of my imagination, and you will hear his voice – just not today. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes (as soon as we’re approved). You can also follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords. And John Browstone is real, too. Go visit him at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

So I was writing an article for Submissive Guide with steps and hints to help submissives talk to their Dominants when they want to renegotiate some aspect of their relationship, and I was struck by how often we (submissives, I mean) think we can’t talk to our Dominant partner.

Too many submissives ask for advice on “how to talk to my Dominant” and none of it makes sense to me. If that person is your Dominant, I’m going to assume you had a conversation at some point, right? I’m hoping it was a healthy, lively, open debate between you at the time. Now that you’re their submissive, you still have the freedom to communicate with your Dominant when you need to.

Okay, there’s a caveat there. Every relationship is different, and you might have a protocol about when, where, and how communication can take place. The one thing that should never be limited, though, is the freedom to express your thoughts during that conversation.

So if you’re scared to talk to your Dominant, my first question is Why?

Do they make it difficult to speak to?

Does your Dominant refuse to hear you? Do they belittle you or say you’re not allowed to ask for changes? Basically, do they think you should shut up, sit down, and let them run the show?

Well then, we might have a problem. It’s one thing to set a protocol, say for a Master/slave relationship where you mutually agree that your Master will tell you when to speak, what to wear, when to go to the bathroom, and when to sleep, among other things. It’s completely different to be told that you’re not allowed to express your own desires and that you don’t get to ask for changes to your dynamic just because you’re submissive.

I’m calling bullshit on that one. That’s not a good situation to be in, and you may have much bigger problems than a fear of communicating with your Dominant.

So if those aren’t your reasons for being scared, what else could it be?

Are you afraid of rejection?

Are you afraid your Dominant won’t agree with what you ...