We're all going to deal with it - the death of our parents. What's it like when the lost parent was the source of your early life trauma? A confusing conglomerate of sadness, anger, enlightenment, and regret? Oh yeah, that's the start of it. Let's throw in some black sheep family dynamics, inner critic rumblings, and fear of your similarly traumatized future. Today, we're talking generational trauma and complicated remorse.

Reckoning with loss or family estrangement, yourself? Let me know about it at t-mfrs.com. Want to help keep this trauma project alive? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or contribute through the sponsorship link in the podcast bio. It's a massive help.

Buckle up... it's an emotional one. Finally following through on a therapy homework assignment I neglected for 2 years; writing a letter to my motherfucking dad. If you're not ready for tears (mine), keep moving. 

Consider this my first unsent letter. 

Does this strike a chord? Looking for an outlet for your own unsent letter? Fucking hit me up - can't be more embarrassing than crying on a public podcast! Find me at t-mfrs.com (traumatizedmotherfuckers.com) and git in touch. 

Having emotions, processing them, and letting them go has been a relatively new set of skills in my life. Allowing myself to feel has been nothing short of critical to my CPTSD recovery journey. Even though it seems like the worst thing you can possibly do, you must learn to deal with how you feel to live a functional, organized life with a functional, organized brain. Here are my 100% non-professional tips. 

Hit the mark or miss it entirely? Let me know at t-mfrs.com. I love hearing from you! Hit up the Discord community, subscribe to the blog, and share TMFRs wherever you social media.

The TMFR Discord community is full of smart, recovery-minded Fuckers. One of the sunniest personalities is HotMessGuru, a single mom with a new leash on life since starting her CPTSD recover ~2 years ago. Listen to her early struggles, narcissistic partner drama, and how she turned the whole thing around. 

Wanna jump into the community? Get in now, while there's room on the ship. Check t-mfrs.com to apply. Just happy to have some CPTSD support? I could use a hand too - hit up the TMFR patreon at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers

More bad news for all the dissociators out there. Turns out that our ability to pay attention and think about feelings is a whole other game from just letting ourselves have them. 

Where does cognition interact with emotion? How do both influence our behaviors? Why aren't we equipped to deal with any of this emotional processing or - hell - acknowledgement? The answers lie in our socialization.

Looking for transcripts to keep up with these dense episodes? Check out t-mfrs.com for blog post versions, contact forms, the Discord community application, and more! Wanna keep this project possible? Head over to patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers to help me stay afloat.

Did you know that I used to be 1) terrified of driving 2) terrified of humans and 3) terrified of leaving the house? Yep, for a few years this MF was fully-agoraphobic. 

Today, I'm revisiting an old post from 2019 where I talked about how much my life has changed in 1.5 years of Trauma Recovery I had at that point - mainly, as it related to driving avoidance, controlling relationships, self-isolation, and anxiety-management. How'd the life-halting fears start? What made them worse? How'd I get over my stagnating anxieties? Lez revisit an old account.

Looking for folks who understand your dysfunctional daily life? Check out the Discord community application at t-mfrs.com/join. Want more from your OG MF Jess? Hell yeah, hit up this Patreon @ patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. 

Hey, quick question... What are emotions? Not "where do they come from in the brain." We're all tired of the limbic system at this point. I mean, what are they and why do we have them? 

Today, I'm talking about the evolutionary derivation of emotions. Why you feel the way you feel. How emotions are meant to motivate us for survival. And what the fuck happens when our personal histories override the experiences of our monkey-ancestors. Cuz, uh, I never stopped and thought about it until Skinner made me.

Into the message? Help this thing keep moving at www.patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Looking for safe social security for survival? Check out t-mfrs.com/join to apply for the online Discord community (heads up, it's closing soon). 

Ever swear that you aren't going to engage in a certain behavior again? Ever get stressed out, dissociate, and leave your meat husk for a while? Ever suddenly come back into your bod and brutally realize that... you just did the thing you swore you would not? "MF me." 

Why does that happen? Today, I'm taking an evolutionary physiology guess, provoked by my own inexplicable anti-self misbehavior. Looking at our double-brained approach to life and the ways it undermines our best intentions.

Want some alternate activities to fucking yourself over? Follow @traumatized.motherfuckers and @archiewheeliepup on all the socials. Peruse patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers to help reduce my peanut butter stress eating. And jump over to t-mfrs.com to subscribe to the blog & newsletter, join the community, or rap at Jess. 

Holler, look who isn't spewing out 50 minutes of research and writing today! Instead, I'm addressing the AMA questions from the TMFR Patreon and sharing the answers with everyone. What's my number one recovery tool, why did this project get started, and beyond!

Want to submit a question of your own? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers to become a part of the monthly AMA. Head over to t-mfrs.com to find the full flurry of all my CPTSD work, join the Discord community, and get in touch.