Episode 32 Anyone? 

Been wanting to shed light on this for a minute. 

Per my lawyer, I am legally obligated to inform you that listening to this episode may result in never looking at the parking lot of Whole Foods on Fairfax and 3rd the same. How you proceed from here is completely up to you. 

A dry shampoo purchase, a lemon update featuring Donny Divanian, it's like... what else do you want? 

Episode 28 truly knows no bounds. A Nextdoor app lemon situation is afoot, while an unprecedented Instagram poll begs the question: Do you write in all caps and if so what is your occupation?" The answers will shock you to your very core. 

You ease your grip on the wheel of your '98 Ford Explorer as your eyes drink in the endless miles of highway stretched out before you. Undaunted, you coast on; hours and towns slipping away like sand in the wind. You pull off on a tiny dirty road, your thirst begging to be quenched.  A quaint, mom and pop convenience shop stands before you and you graze the barrels of fresh jerky before ultimately settling on an ice cold root beer. You pop the top off of a Barq's, and take a meaningful swig before arriving at the register. "Can I get a pack of smokes?" You ask the weathered man behind the counter. He obliges. "That'll be $6.48," he announces softly. "What's this town called anyways?" You ask him while peeling off a five and two one's from the bundle of cash in your pocket. His eyes come alive and he tips his cap, "Welcome to Goof City." 

The sky is draped in orange and purple, and the warm, desert wind wraps around you like the promise of a thousand tomorrows. The air is electrifying in its stillness, tinged with charcoal and the sense of forgotten dreams, and for just a moment you start to see it all for what it really is. You take a pull of something strong because maybe you don't want to see it that clearly, but as you tilt your head back something catches your eye. A slip of paper flaps wildly, fighting against the strength of the branches within whose arms it is caught. You walk towards it, led by a force unseen but not unfelt, the dirt road crunching beneath you. You gently unhook the paper just as the winds pick up, holding on tightly as if whatever is written on the paper is the missing piece, the string that ties it all together. You unfold the note and as you read the words, the sparkle that's been missing for so many years returns to your eyes for hope has been restored. "Well I'll be god damned." You murmur to yourself, then repeat the words aloud to no one but the wind, "It's Episode 26 aka Dear People Who Don't Crack Their Knuckles."

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” - Benjamin Franklin. Ever heard of him? Episode 25 is here in the form of an ode to electricity inspired by the true events of a neighborhood power outage moments before a highly anticipated Twitch show. I suppose you could make this stuff up but why would you want to? 

Venmo gets absolutely torched while the dalmatian community gets a formal apology... welcome to February. 

It's a brisk January morning and you've just docked your boat in the wharf. The fresh, salty, air fills yours lungs as you drink in the horizon. "Never gets old," you murmur to yourself, "never gets old." The smell of good coffee lingers in the distance... the promise of bacon and toast not far off. You glance down at the water and see something stuck behind a local rock. "What in the?" You ask yourself. You gingerly bend down to pick it up, and it's only until you get closer that it dawns on you; it's a message in a bottle. You carefully extract the tiny scroll from its casing, then fish out your glasses from the inside of your trusty coat pocket. One by one the letters pull into focus, and a smile spreads across your face as your eyes dance upon the message: It's episode 23 with very special guest Melissa Villaseñor.