Trump said he doesn’t think about American’s financial situation. In between diaper changes, man-baby blathered something about China, Iran and the Strait of Hormuz. DINO traitor Fetterman bent over for the orange daddy with no-vote on restricting presidential war powers. Turncoat Fetterman moaned the Dems were becoming anti-American. A Trump tower in Australia was 86’d. Nazi walrus Elon Musk reminded the world of his bigotry with his vapid ramblings about Christopher Nolan’s “Odyssey.” Paranoid Putin has banned the wearing of watches in his prescience. Nazi evangelist Joel Webbon called for the destruction of fellow loon Vivek Ramaswamy. Shots were fired in the Philippine Senate when the ICC tried to nab a war criminal. Trump looks like crap bigly, especially his nose.

GOP kicked people off Medicaid but can find $1 billion for Trump’s ballroom. An infected passenger from the hantavirus cruise hopped on a plane. The Brit PM was encouraged to resign after turning in a massive electoral “L.” Golfers from the defunct Saudi-sucking LIV tour crawled back to the PGA for work. Shitler’s wee hands actually got bigger with swelling. Also, Trump looks like dog crap, lol. Czar of Florida said he was going to close the concentration camps, AKA “Alligator Auschwitz.” Junky golfer Tiger Woods scored a DUI rather than a birdy in Florida.

Trump’s FDA is hiding studies with results that don’t fit into its BS narrative. “Kash App,” our snowflake FBI Czar, is big mad over reports of his drunkard antics and launched a leak investigation. Trump’s cabal has been lying about the illegal war in Iran and it turns out the LEGO folks have hit more US assets than reported. Thankfully, for the children, Epstein’s former BFF, Trump, slept through a kids fitness event. Bezos banned anti-vaxx docs from Amazon.  Trump-sucker Ben Shapiro laid off Daily Wire employees because no one wants to watch his garbage media. A snake bit a hiker in Cali and in Florida, a shark chomped a paddleboarder.

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GOP SCOTUS shank the Voting Rights Act, what a shock… Futon fetishist J.D. Vance crapped out another book and hopefully, Ron Howard won’t adapt for the silver screen. King Charles visited and bust out a little stand-up at a banquet. According to a poll most Americans hate President Diaper Rash. Main player in the Epstien Files, Don-the-con, put his face on passports. One-percenter Sith Lord Jamie Dimon said the upcoming recession will be worse than imagined. A drone hit a plane in California. Kid Rock and alleged sexual assaulter Pete Hegseth went for a joy ride in Helicopter owned by our military. A golden helmet was nicked from a Dutch Museum but was recovered.

Listen to Monday’s CrabDiving radio podcast!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Alex Jones is taking the demise of InfoWars well but not really. The Democrats won a redistricting vote but a Trumpist judge c-blocked it. Spirit Airlines got a bailout. United Airlines pushed the rise in oil prices onto their customers. The Young Turks were late to the party when they suggested there’s something fishy about the supposed Shitler “shooting” in Butler. Ships have been getting through man-baby’s blockade of Iran. A Trump appointee in DHS was saddled with a cheap benefactor who she met on a sugar-daddy dating site. RFK, Jr., the gravely voiced HHS czar and husband of actor Cheryl Hines, caught so much deserved shade during a congressional hearing. The Secretary of the Navy was sacked by Kegs-breath.

Listen to CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!