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Ari Gronich 0:00
I'm Ari Gronich, and this is create a new tomorrow podcast.
Welcome back to another episode of create a new tomorrow. I'm your host Ari Gronich. And remember to LIKE SUBSCRIBE rate review comments below, do all of those things so we can start conversations that matter and create a new tomorrow today. Today with me I have Calvin Corelli. Calvin is a sass founder series, serial entrepreneur and spiritual teacher, he founded a company called some clairo, which is an integrated software platform for coaches, authors, speakers, and other information marketers to run their entire business in one place. So that's pretty cool. But he calls that more Alas, instead of a SAS, which is love as a service versus software as a surface. So, you know, your your mission is amazing. And I'm gonna let you tell a little bit more about who you are, why you created this platform, but more than anything, what what it is that you think the world needs to do, and us, you know, in it can do to make the world a little bit better place. So we'll get started with with just kind of your, your quick bio, tell us a little bit about how you became who you are.
Calvin Correli 1:37
Absolutely, yeah, thank you so much. I super appreciate you having me on here. Looking forward to the conversation with you today. I started simpler. So I was born and raised in Denmark and and, you know, was building always sort of arms when we're both my parents were entrepreneurs, I got into computers and programming super early when I was like five or six years old, and got off to a good start on my career, always working pretty much always working for myself, I had one job for a company in Boston, or just around the year 2000. But that was it. But then I really got into struggling as an entrepreneur really kind of struggling all around as a human being to be honest, I felt like I had failed as a as a father as a husband, as a son to my parents as an entrepreneur, on all levels. And so it really got me down this path of soul searching of discovering, questioning beliefs, learning to feel I was I grew up like I don't you can recognize this from yourself or clients, right? That like just not able to feel a thing. It was like I was living from my neck up. And all of his feeling stuff was like, a mystery. And it was just every once in a while would explode. So I went through that process of therapy and coaching and body therapy and working with a spiritual teacher. And that was what led to a moment where I was like, you know, finally asking myself the question, What am I here to do? What is it I really want to do versus just trying to be successful, just trying to make money just trying to make ends meet? Right. And that was what I sat down one day, and and in that process, sort of arrived the answer to me, I'm here to integrate spirituality and entrepreneurship. At the core, we're not spiritual on Sundays, or, you know, sort of, you know, on the side, it's, it's at the heart of what I do for a living what I do in business, my my company's here to be an integral part of my spiritual mission, if you will, my life purpose. And I was like, what I realized is that that's really how we can solve all of the challenges that we're facing as humanity is by it's not through government. It's not through, you know, nonprofits, because business business is at the core of like creation. And if business has done well, it can really solve all of the challenges that we're facing. And I mean, business is just a collection of people coming together to solve problems. That's kind of all it is, right. Yeah. So yeah. So.
Ari Gronich 4:25
So then, you know, my contrarian point of view in life is, so if business is at the heart of the possibility of solving the world's problems, why do you think we've allowed companies, as conglomerations of people to do things that are the antithesis of solving the world's problems? More on the side of creating issues where there maybe previously weren't any issues? Right? Yeah.
Calvin Correli 4:59
So I mean, Good question, right? Like, I think the short answer is because we're humans, right? Because I mean, it's not isolated to two companies, obviously governments do, you know, their fair share problems. I think anytime humans come together, we we create a mess because we are a mess, which is why for me the goal really is to raise the the conscious level I talked about physical, mental, emotional, spiritual maturity, those four, right? Physical, we got to be healthy body and mind are not separate, right? If your body is a mess, your mind is a mess. Mental learning to question your beliefs, just you know, realizing that you are not your thoughts, you are not your ideas about yourself, right? emotional maturity, learning to not suppress feelings, not vomit them out and identify with your feelings, but just feel them and let them flow through you. And spiritual in the sense of having a sense of a bigger purpose in life, some sort of meaning without it or lost, right. And they all tie together. And and so once that happens, and we grow up as people, I think I bet you would agree the most, quote unquote adults in the world right now are really kind of children emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, right? It just happened to be in a in a in an adult body. So there is really is like a big massive maturity that needs to happen in the world. If we want to solve these problems, and once that happens, solving the problems becomes fairly easy. And then business and government can become a vehicle for solving those challenges. But when it's done unconsciously, yeah, it's gonna have the opposite effect.
Ari Gronich 6:46
Yeah, it's interesting. Some of the statistics that I've that I've heard, and and research is that people are approximately the age of their first major trauma. And
Calvin Correli 6:59
don't make sense. Yeah,
Ari Gronich 7:00
over that first major trauma happened, they kind of you kind of get locked in, yep, the maturity level of that age. And then anytime something triggers that the same feeling that happened with that trauma, you revert back to that age of a person and that reaction and those kinds of things. So it's kind of an interesting way of looking at it and perspective. And, you know, in my world, as a, as a therapist, and healer, and so on, the only way to solve that problem is to go after the issues that are in the tissues, so to speak. Or, you know, you have a some somatic trauma, which basically means a trauma to your physical self. And the only way to heal that trauma is to go directly to where that trauma occurred. And so an emotional trauma almost always happens in the body, as well. So when you look at like Chinese medicine, anger lives in liver wery, lives in the kidneys, the sweetness of life in your pancreas, the lungs are joy, you know, feeling joy, your stomach is contentment. And so these emotions, you can imagine anytime somebody says, right, you know, I'm feeling this this, you know, little queasiness in my gut? Well, that's an emotion that's creating a physical response. Right?
Unknown Speaker 8:43
Yeah.
Ari Gronich 8:44
Tell us how, how you've come along this, this journey of finding out that, you know, you were having some of these kinds of issues, and what did you do? Like, I mean, that the actual steps that you took to start the process of healing, and let's go with the beginning of that process, because, you know, I know a lot of people, it's the beginning that they struggle with the most. Yeah,
Calvin Correli 9:13
so let me just on what you were saying with the issue in the tissue and the ages for so I was fortunate because I'm from Denmark, I discovered there's a there's a therapy form there called body SDS, which is body therapy. It's a system that's developed in Denmark by this incredible genius has passed now, but they're like third and fourth generation are now actively, you know, working on it, my friend, I've become friend with the founder of the education there. He's 5657 karate champion and has educated 600 therapists over there. So it's one of my projects is actually to bring that to the US because I have tried a ton of different things and this is just so powerful. I really getting to those calls. Core wounds in the body, because a lot of this stuff is you can't really get to it with words, because it's pre cognition. And so the body is such a powerful tool. So I'm so with you on that. And one a part of my journey has been to rediscover my relationship with my masculine side and with my father. And so that was a very deliberate process of, of reconnecting with sort of like an six, eight year old version of myself, and then figuring out how to reparent him up to being you know, a young, healthy adult. But that's more recent, that was like three years ago that that journey started for me. The the going back in time to answer your question was like, the beginning. I think, very early moment was in 2003, when, when a friend of mine I had I had called an advisory board meeting for my company. And I brought some some really smart friends of mine, people that I knew. And afterwards, one of them looked me in the eyes and you're like, dude, we've been here for three hours, and I still don't know what you want. And there's something in that question that just made me like, wow, like, you know, how those like questions that just open open a gap in your consciousness, your mind somewhere, you're like, wait, I didn't know that there was a, like any, like, a bit, there was a hole here. But now there is, it was like, I didn't know that you were allowed to watch anything in business. I thought it was all like, you know, oh, we just do business stuff. And, and then I was like, I didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted to be, quote unquote, successful. So that I would feel okay or worthy. I didn't have any clue what I wanted. And I think that was the moment that sort of sparked that realization that I don't know what I want. Because I can't feel a thing. I can't feel myself. And so one of the things I did was my mom had a friend, who was a therapist, really interesting guy, by the way. So he had started as a surgeon doing breast operations on women with breast cancer. And what he had noticed was that they all had the same psychological pattern. There was resentment towards men, and there's resentment towards their own femininity, and serious like, what is that and so he hates went back to school to study psychology, because he's like, hey, if I can solve this before I have to cut these ladies breasts off, that would kind of be a lot better. And so that was what he did. He he's passed now, but that was what he dedicated his life to since then. And so I, I kind of found his phone number and gave him a call. And I was like, Hey, I think I need some help here. I think I need to talk to a therapist, and I was terrified. I was terrified of admitting that I wouldn't, I didn't want my parents to know, I didn't want any of my friends to know, I had this idea that if you need to talk to a therapist, you're really broken. Right? That's kind of admitting defeat, like, at that point, you might as well go kill yourself. But then, like, I wasn't gonna do that. So this was as close as they got. But that was really my belief system was that there had to be something terribly wrong with you, if you needed that, like I learned. Everybody needs help, right? We're all kind of, you know, messed up with their from our, from our upbringing, and it's our job to go sort out that mess, right? reparent ourselves, because our parents probably didn't do a great job. But that was like, it was a big step for me. I'll tell you just admitting that I needed help. And yeah, that was, that was my first step. And then like, once I got going on that I was like, let's, you know, I hired a coach at one point that felt kind of safe to write like business coaching. Yeah, that's good. hired a coach and she was like, a couple sessions into it. She was like, you should you should take this coach education and learn to become a coach. I
was like, wait, me, like, I'm a tear. I'm not a people person. Everybody tells me I'm terrible with people, like what would I do doing that? But I did, and I loved it. And so, you know, and I remember thinking like, Alright, once I've taken this education, then I know everything there is to know about like psychology, like, you know, humans and how their brains work. Yeah, no.
Ari Gronich 14:34
It's a pretty deep topic. Yeah, absolutely. So you know, if you were to just take a look behind the scenes, so to speak behind the curtain at what it is that is at the root cause of kind of all of this. Let's say opposition to nature. Right, which is opposition to nature, meaning we don't do the things that we know to do to feel good. Like, connect with community and family on a regular basis. That's something we've studied, we know that the people who do that live the longest are the happiest, etc. We don't do that here. So why don't you kind of break apart or break down for us some of the things that you've found to be solutions for kind of the, the state we find ourselves in as far as emotionally drained, I mean, you obviously we see all of the current suicides and abuse and protests and dissatisfaction with the world as as it is. And then we'll get into kind of my perspective on it, is, we created this shit out of our imagination. And now we're complaining about it rather than fixing it. So if we can realize that we've made this whole thing up, maybe we can start the process of making it better. So what what is your take on from your education, the experiences that you've had, on what it is that we would need to do, to kind of come back to that natural way of being with each other and with ourselves? Yeah.
Calvin Correli 16:43
I think at the root of it is us believing our thoughts. I like we believe that the thoughts that are in our heads are true, right? And that they have something valuable to tell us, which sometimes they do. But oftentimes, they don't, right. If you could imagine living in a state where there are no thoughts or that whatever thoughts are, they're just kind of passing by, and you're not, you know, attached to them like meditation, right? Once you do that, in that state, inside, you will find every single time is this sense of spaciousness, and joy. And you're just present in the present moment, right? There's never any dissatisfaction in that, never ever, right? It doesn't exist, right? The dissatisfaction only exists, because we're telling ourselves a story about something that should be the way it's not. And then we become unhappy, right? That's the only way that happens. And it happens reflexively. And will, like, we can still have feelings in that state in that thoughtless state, you will, but they pass through quickly, right? Like, they just like, you know, they're just waves and we ride the wave and then it's gone. And then it's out. Right? So it's, it's when we when we get stuck in our belief patterns, and then that we do that so habitually, that it really gets in and becomes part of our biochemistry, right. Like if it infects our liver. I remember you mentioned with the lamprey liver and the anger, right that I saw studies some years ago, where they gave multivitamins to prison inmates and violence in the prison dropped, because it actually helped their liver, and then they're less violent, right? It's like, these things are tied together. So I really think at the at the root of it is our believing in our thoughts. Like, Oh, I got it, I'm behind, I gotta rush I got like, all these things, right? And then we, then we just, like, stop being present with ourselves. And then with others. I mean, that's, that's the route.
Ari Gronich 18:58
So you've had I'm sure a lot of clients, a lot of people pass through your your software, so you get to see a lot of data. What do you think is the number one thought that you've seen with your clients the number one thing that is recurring amongst the people that that you've talked to your clients, the data that you've seen, that number one thing that's stopping people from being happy, the number one thought that's keeping them out of, you know, being in life fully?
Calvin Correli 19:40
Yeah, it's, I just need to get to here and then I will write I just need like, no more customers or I just need like this to change or my health or whatever it is. It's kind of like that, you know, like the, the horse or the donkey with a carrot on a stick out in front. Right. And that's how we live our lives, like, I just get to get this, like, finish with with school, then I gotta get this degree, then I gotta get this job, then I just gotta get this promotion, then I just gotta get like, whatever it is right? Like, you know, I'll just have to find a good partner and then, like, have kids then like when the kids are in school, when they're out of school, like when they leave, like, and then we wake up one day, and we're old and retired. And we're like, oh, yeah, like all the things that we were going to do. And now we don't have the health or the energy or, you know, the desire anymore. It's, it's so habitual for us to always be looking to the future.
Unknown Speaker 20:41
Hmm.
Ari Gronich 20:42
I'm so looking to the future. When I look to the future, because you know, and I'll take a saying, out of context and out of probably exact, exact repeating, so it's, it's me just paraphrasing, but a man's grasp, or reach should exceed his grasp, or else what's heaven for? Yeah, that's the saying. And yeah, dia is that you're reaching much, much, much further than you think you possibly can grasp? Because that's how you reach to heaven. Right. But that seems to be what you just said is something that is causing people a lot of anguish and emotional drainage and, and pain. Yeah. Yeah,
Calvin Correli 21:40
that's challenges. There's a concept that I talked about, which is the satisfied drive. Right. So I love that like divine dissatisfaction, It's never good enough. We're always striving to do better, we're always going for more, I think that's a natural part of life, right? It trees constantly growing. But that doesn't mean that you have to be dissatisfied with where you're at. Right? It's that feeling that like, Okay, this, I'm unhappy right now, because I feel unworthy. That was my thing, right? I'm not worthy until I'm, I'm successful to some metric, whatever arbitrary metric that was, sometimes it would be like, I have to have a company with 50 employees. I think that's because my mom's software company, she grew it to about 50. Other times, it was like, I have to have Bill Gates level wealth before I turn 30. That was a little bit more challenging, and challenging. And it was gonna waver, right? In order to prove myself worthy of even existing, right, that's not a good place to be in. It's not right. So it's really the ability to love ourselves. And love life as it is love the present moment love reality, exactly as it is right now. And yet still be driven out of love, but not out of fear, not out of unworthiness, and needing to prove ourselves but but out of the love of creating stuff of expressing yourself and putting it out there. That's where we want to, that's where we want to create from. Right, right. And
Ari Gronich 23:15
so the question becomes, you know, we were in this interesting world, at the moment, where there is the perception of a massive amount of problem, meaning, we're being locked down or being shut down, we're being censored, all these kinds of things, right. And so, the complaining is, at this level of unimaginable, worldwide, whining, you know, so to speak. The people that I've talked to, that I that I like to talk to, are the people who are creating solutions, who are pivoting who are moving towards something else. And that gives them a sense of value. And what you're talking about with this unworthiness, I think that this is a bigger issue, then. Then we talk about for sure. How many people and this is going out to the audience right now? How many of you have felt unworthy in your life? Not just unworthy? Until but unworthy, even though, even though I've already been a success, even though I've already made a massive impact, even though so if you're a leader in the world right now, and you're still feeling that, I'm unworthy thing, so how do you unpack that? worthy thing for your clients because i don't think that most people understand how to unpack that that's such an ingrained human mindset place to be
Unknown Speaker 25:15
yeah
Calvin Correli 25:18
i think i agree and i think and relate it to is the sense of guilt right guilt for for for a hat maybe having achieved and you don't again quite feel worthy of it and then that leads to sense of guilt or you know sense of privilege or whatnot yeah to me it's it's one of the things that tends to work for me is to just say alright so what
Unknown Speaker 25:45
so what
Calvin Correli 25:46
maybe i am unworthy that can i can i just accept that can i live with that like what is it really it's it's it's a belief right that starts a feeling and then that feeling we like label as something unwanted like oh i don't want this like a bad feeling right we don't even really feel it but we just don't want it there's a saying that i love which is every any struggle is a struggle to avoid feeling a certain feeling and so we just go out of our ways to avoid touching that thing that makes us feel unworthy instead of going the other way and just being like alright let me just feel it and then let me one of the things i love to do is instead of like going into sort of the label of the feeling of unworthiness just what is the sensation is it like a slight vibration in my chest is it like tingling since it is like what is the physical sensation forget the label forget the thoughts just focus on your body and when you go to that really unworthy place like what is what is it the body sensation and then just breathe into that and allow it to expand and expand and just like roll with it enjoy it and what you realize oh it's actually kind of fun it's a little ticklish is little you know it's you realize it's not dangerous at all it's not scary at all and then it stops having this this power over you and maybe it's okay like instead of being like oh no i want to prove that i am worthy like go away stupid unworthiness feeling right just allow yourself to maybe maybe i am unworthy unworthy for what what does it even mean right and then starts to kind of break down
Ari Gronich 27:33
right bucky fuller who's an inspiration for the show he was kind of the inspiration for my book and you tomorrow i don't know if you know who buckminster fuller was but do one of his quotes and i'm gonna bastardize this you know pretty good but it's we have to get over the auspicious notion that people need to work in order to be a value there is currently and this was back in the 60s he says there's currently approximately 10,000 people on the planet that have the technology and creativity to create enough technology that nobody else on the planet will even need to work let alone have that be the their value system so you know going with this thought since i completely paraphrased the actual quote but going with the thought that we don't need to work to be of value that completely goes against the nature of this country at least of the united states and a lot of countries as well as that we need to work in order to be a value and yet we end up working 40 to 80 hours of you know a week of of the of our life and doing that for 40 plus years and never really living so how do we how do we break that auspicious notion that in order for people to be of value and deserve food and health and life right that they need to be actively working at a thing that may or may not even be the thing that they're you know passionate about good at or wanting to do
Unknown Speaker 29:37
yeah so here
Calvin Correli 29:38
here's my thoughts on that i think there's an inherent need for humans to feel of value to be of service to other humans right to do something that other people appreciate and and the way that we show that tend to show that appreciation is with money right that that we exchange values ideas money i think I think that's deep in us, like that need to contribute in some way to to be part of this exchange. I think I do think it's, I think any form of feeling unworthy, or guilty or wrong is unhelpful. I think, you know, self love is superior, I think a lot of the things that people associate with, you know, people being too full of themselves, and that kind of stuff is really, you know, just lack of self love, really. So I'm a huge, I'm a huge fan of self love. So, and there is this tendency, right, like, whenever we get new technologies that allows us to work more efficient, so we'll have more free time. Yeah, right. Right. That never ever happens. Because it just, you know, then it just ups the competition game. And the reality is, we live in it in a competitive world, right? That's just by nature. That's how it works. Right? Like, just in the animal world, it's still a competitive world. So yeah, so I'm not really sure. One thing I'm not personally a fan of the government stepping in. And, and sort of, like, you know, taking over and paying people like, for me, it's like the, the more that we can just do amongst people, amongst ourselves, the better it is so. So I don't, I'm just yeah,
Ari Gronich 31:19
I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of put my two cents in here, right at that at this place. The government is people. And I'm, I'm saying that in a way, I want to really drive this home to the audience, the government is people, we made it, we created it, we built the systems around it, we turned it into this massively, you know, massive machinery of of life, but we created it. And I and I'm really, I get really tired of people saying things like the government shouldn't as if it's something separate from We the People, right? Because we the people, are the people that make up the corporations, we make up the government, we make up the rules, we make up the systems and we make up the entire way in which we live by. And I find that people use the government as a really great scapegoat so that they don't have to take any responsibility in what's going on by saying, well, the government shouldn't or the government should, or the government this as if it's something separate from us. And so what I would say to what you just said, is to the audience, if you don't like how big the government is, how slow the government is, how inefficient the government is, how whatever it is that you have an opinion about the government, for you are the person responsible for making that government different. So if we got 50 million people who are really dissatisfied with the government that's made up of, like, 500 600 people, then shouldn't those 50 million people stop the machinery of the government and shift it or do something to change it or, you know, run for office, so you could be a part of the solution versus a part of the problem and the whining? So it's just my controversial side that says, I get it, that people think that these governments are such evil entities, and the people who run them are such agenda driven people. But the fact of the matter is, it's you.
Unknown Speaker 34:00
Yeah, well, yeah.
Calvin Correli 34:02
I agree. Like, we we we like for some for some version of we, like people created the government, right. And people run run the government. Yes. Absolutely. And, yeah, and there's there. I think my point is just there's, you know, there's several organizational vehicles with which to achieve certain ends, right. Government is one business is another just neighbor to neighbor or communities or, or, you know, our other vehicles, NGOs or vehicles, nonprofits. So there's different organizational structures that can achieve different things, and some are better suited for certain things than others.
Ari Gronich 34:46
Right. Really, I and then I can totally agree with and like I said, the only the only caveat I would say is, I don't find anything different about a bureaucrat at a company versus a bureaucrat. government versus a bureaucrat in your home
Calvin Correli 35:04
right yeah yeah the difference is like the monopoly situation that the government inherently has right whereas if it's a company and then you might presumably have choice assuming that they're not a monopoly but yeah it's it's fascinating how i keep seeing these numbers just anecdotally of like how many people distrust the government and yet keep giving power to the government right it's like wait what's the disconnect here right
Ari Gronich 35:29
exactly that's cognitive dissonance about who needs to do right so two people i think that we've created a society where you got to work 40 to 80 hours a week just to survive and even that may or may not be a good survival right and in normal jobs and and so people have stopped doing civic kind of work in many cases and and paying attention to the issues of the day and therefore the issues of the day have snowballed and by snowballing now it's like this massive thing versus what could have been something small that just could have been melted away now you've got this massive solid ball of you know rolling ice right right for the town so to speak and and so yeah we you know getting back to a place where people can remember their civic duties in some cases their community duties and and you know i get it politics are all about national international now but getting into your local community government where the initial fraud is happening where the
Unknown Speaker 36:57
show right
Ari Gronich 36:58
you know where that's going to be what really affects you the audience the most so anyway that's yeah
Calvin Correli 37:06
and that's a good point because i was just talking to someone who's who's working with the i forget it was an honestly if it was like new york city or new york state government whatever whatever like the board or like whatever the i don't even know what it's called but like the kind of like congress for the city of the state level and they're just having tremendous trouble just getting people who are willing to run right people who are willing to you know occupy those seats like which is fascinating because like it's work that that you know needs to be done but there's very few people who are willing to do and i totally understand why they're not real i mean i wouldn't do that right like it's i could you know create a much better life and make more money doing doing what i'm doing why would i why would i do that so it is it is kind of fascinating um
i had another thought which was i forget what that was but anyway yes
Ari Gronich 38:04
yeah i would rather be a consultant to the government than in the government but that's yeah that's just because i like to be artistic sure you know i like to to not have a position i like to not artificially labeled myself as any one thing and i think that when you're a politician we've gotten to a place where you have to label yourself something right so those labels to me as well are part of what helps create this divide
Unknown Speaker 38:36
right here
Calvin Correli 38:37
there's an interesting there's a town over in the uk called froome if r o m e where there's a party called independence from so the city council has 17 seats and this guy decided to start a party where there's no party discipline so each member of the party is into an individual they get to vote however they want they're just a party for technical reasons first time they ran they got 10 seats out of 17 next time they got all 17 and so they have this process where when they argue they have facilitators sometimes and they'll they'll have this process where they need to argue the opposite viewpoint of what they like they have to switch sides and argue each other's case etc and they bring in people so it's more of a problem solving thing then then traditional politics and presumably works really really well so i'm fascinated with things like that right like there are things that we can do to solve this if people care enough i remember what i was thinking before which is what you're talking about was the people having to work you know you know a lot of hours they don't have the time etc i'm also fascinated with how it seems like i grew up into i live in new york city now but i grew up in denmark and i think that has been attended advantageous in many ways he had you know great school and my parents were very good at you know they taught me to program and all these things but there's seems to Be a complete lack of teaching people fundamental life skills in this country, right? Which is why we end up on that treadmill because you don't need to live on that treadmill. If you invest there communities that are that are consistently investing in their education. I think like Chinese Americans tend to be really good at that Asians maybe in general, right, some Jewish Jewish culture around like, get educated, you know, get good grades, you know, put in hard work. stay ahead of the game. I remember also just, they just released the hillbilly elegy on Netflix. I haven't seen it yet. But I read the book, have you heard of it? No. So as a guy named JD Vance, and you you grew up in, I think, in the Appalachian sort of redneck country, and when his parents, you know, grew up, you could make a decent middle way, you know, middle class, income, by far dad working some factory job, they can have their house and kids and you pay for the thing and like, upward mobility and things were working. And now these communities are destroyed, everybody's on drugs and opioids, and there are no jobs, the factories have closed. And it's, it's, it's, you know, crap show. And schools are terrible to what changed it for him. So he got out and got a good job. And most of his friends didn't. One of the things that changed for him was he got into the military, to the military, he got into the Marines. And in the Marines, they taught him how to eat, how to exercise, and how to how to manage money. So he's about to go out and buy a car, and then his surgeon was like, what kind of car Are you getting? And he was like, Oh, this car, and he's like, you can't afford that, like, get this one's much more, much more practical and economical. Then he was gonna get like, you know, some kind of loans, like, how are you gonna finance it? Oh, just whatever, you know, finance from the dealers? Like, no, don't do that shop around, get a good get, you know, good interest, get a good deal on the on the mortgage. And so these fundamental life skills that he'd never learned from, from his parents from his upbringing from his school, you know, learned it in the military. And it fascinates me that, like the military is also government, right? So there are parts of the government that actually is able to teach people some of the skills that they actually need to survive and function in society. And then there are others that do the exact opposite.
Ari Gronich 42:28
Well, since you didn't grow up here, you probably didn't realize that while you were growing up here, and I was growing up, or while you were growing up there, and I was growing up here, they actually did have things like homak, in bowls and elementary schools in, you know, in high schools, and so on. We had classes and cooking, sewing, checkbook balancing things like that. They have since taken those things out of schools, and exchange for a football program, basically. Because the football program makes the money. But they've taken fundamentally out any kind of life skills and trades skills. So when I was going to school, we had auto shop, we had photography, we had, you know, obviously yearbook and journalism, we had debate clubs, we had Youth in Government programs, we had wood shop, metal shop, I mean, we had all kinds of trades that we could learn in high school. And those things stopped right around the late 60s, early 70s. Or, and then they started, you know, or they didn't stop, but they started to slow down. You know, thereafter. And as they started to slow down, we saw this big push for people to be into college, go into college, going to college, go into college. And as people would go into college, and then obviously graduate with huge amounts of debt and not really wanting or passionate about or able to be in the job of the thing that they studied in college, we started to realize that when they took the trade schools out of high school, they they took an entire population and turn them into people that could only get jobs at assembly, you know, as assembly men and manufacturing plants and so on and so forth, because they no longer had the skills to do trades, that they might have been interested that might have paid them more kind of interesting way of dealing with a society. And the excuse in the politics of that those educational plans is we don't have enough money to educate our kids. We need, you know, teachers are asking too much, we can't pay them enough, these kinds of things. And so we've really, literally sold our kids, you know, future to the highest bidder, so to speak, and, and shifted the way that they can even think about what trades and what things they might be actually interested in doing to make that impact, and we kind of are directing them. If you don't do this, you won't get ahead, which means that you have to do this. And if all of your friends are doing this, this is the other part of that problem, which helps with the emotional blocking is that they have to take drugs in order to get the grades to match the other kids in order to get into the position so that they can be in the college. And then the college. I mean, I got college level aged kids, step kids and the drug use that is in those schools is unbelievable. And it's all straight, non recreational, not all of it, but obviously, you know, it's non recreational, it's all study. It's all getting better in school. But they're not learning anything about how to live in the real world, as you were saying,
Calvin Correli 46:29
Yeah, it's I mean, that what's going on with colleges seems to be to be nuts, right? I just the whole the college student loans that are that he can't bankrupt out of, and that is subsidized by the government. Like it's, you know, that seems to be some, some high level corruption going on there. Right? You're like, I mean, I have I have kids, my kids are 1315. They're in Denmark, with their mom, we divorced a decade ago. But if they were here, I mean, like, I would never pay for college for them, I would never encourage them to go to college. I wouldn't. I mean, I wouldn't do in Denmark, universities is, you know, paid for through taxes, I wouldn't encourage them to go to university either, right? I got a computer science degree. I learned way more in my first year after I quit, I got a bachelor's degree, I was on my way to a Master's, I quit that and took a job. Instead, I learned so much more the first job out of college than I learned five years in, in university. So
Ari Gronich 47:32
yeah, do you think that, that there's a reason why college and university is getting that reputation of being as unnecessary, when you know, in my parents generation, and obviously, for me, it was like, if you didn't go to college, and I didn't go to college, I went to a trade school. But my brother, you know, was, if you're not going to college, you're not ever, ever going to be a success in life. That's the programming. And now that programming is, is getting shifted to where, you know, a lot of people are starting to say, college isn't, isn't where it's at.
Calvin Correli 48:13
I mean, the internet, right? Like, there is there's anything that you could possibly want to learn, you can find online, most of it for free, right? You know, there's libraries to obviously still right, but books, online courses you can study from, from the from the universities, you want to buy, like single courses and things like that, you can do that. For me, it's about learning, you have to be passionate about where you're learning, you have to want to learn it because you want to because you care, right? Because you're interested in it. That's the only way we're ever going to get really good at something and, you know, presumably you're learning it to use it. And so if you're not really that interested in it and excited about it, like why would you? Why would you bother, right? So and if you're excited, the you learn, you learn by doing more than by studying, right? You can read it and studied, but then you have to do it and do it and do it and do it over and over again. So putting it into something where you're, whether it's you're starting something for yourself, or you're working for someone else, put it into the fat C drive results. And that's how you really learn stuff, right? So yeah, there's never been more resources for anyone to learn, which also proves that if you're not improving your skills, if you're not improving your your, your your, your your body and your mind and your life in a in every way that you care about. It's on you, right? There's no excuses at this point, right? Like it's available to anybody with a smartphone. There's so much stuff available for free to anyone who has a smartphone. There's just zero excuse. So if you're not progressing, it's because you don't want to it's just because you don't care enough.
Ari Gronich 50:01
Interesting. So let's talk about the menu. So the menu, they found as if it's more than two pages, it causes people to go into choice overwhelm.
Calvin Correli 50:19
If we talk about like food menus at a restaurant, what kind of
Ari Gronich 50:23
restaurant, they found the science, this study, the research has found that if there's more than two pages on a restaurant menu, then people go into choice, overwhelm. And they are less satisfied with their choice than if they have a one page or a two page menu, and only have certain things that they can get. They choose what they want. And they're happy with their choice, because the limit, so you talks about going onto Google, Google is to me a couple billion page menu. And, you know, you got Dr. Google you got, you know, that a lot of people are using for their, their, their medical questions. But the idea behind this is that, do we have too many choices, and not enough truth, to where people can't make a decision, they get overwhelmed with information, and all of a sudden, they can't make a choice, they can't make a decision, they can't make an action because of this overwhelm. And, and now they're not satisfied because of too much choice.
Calvin Correli 51:36
Oh, yes. And I mean, that's not going to go away, right? That's never gonna change. So we That's just a fact that we have to adapt. Like, the the being unhappy with your choice is just back to what we were talking about a while ago with, like, you know, believing your thoughts, right? So. So just ignore that voice. It's one of the things that we're not, it seems we're not teaching people is like fundamental thinking skills. But I'm not even gonna say critical thinking skills, just any kind of thinking, honestly, is in short supply. Right? So so just learning to be like, Okay, what is the problem? What is the outcome that I want? Even? I mean, honestly, even that is one of the things that fascinates me about politics, is we're constantly debating this intervention or policy versus that. And nobody's saying, Well, hey, why don't we start them at stuff for a second? What does success look like? Right? What do we actually want to achieve here? And like, Can we get agreement on that first? And then Alright, what parameters? Are there for a solution for an for a strategy? What like, what values do we have? Can we get agreement on that? And then we can start brainstorm solutions, right? But if you haven't figured out what you want, first, then nothing else. Makes sense, right? And then everything else just becomes a waste of time. And we people don't get these basic things about how to solve problems. I see it too in business, so many people who are focused on tasks, what are the things I need to do? And I'm like, well, but like, it's not working. We're like, this is what this is the goal. This is the outcome, like, what else can we try? Right? Because that didn't work. And so there's some fundamental thinking skills that people are missing. So
Ari Gronich 53:18
yeah, this is one of the biggest issues that I have system wide in almost every system that we've created in the last 20 plus years. Maybe 30, maybe 40 depends on the system is we're all about procedures versus results. So we do digital marketing right now because that's my biggest challenge. I'm not a digital marketer, put a body in front of me, I could turn it into Olympic champion, not a problem. Easy peasy. Put a computer in front of me and tell me to digitally market with web hooks and funnels and triggers and minutiae. And I go back. And so as I go to hire people, my biggest frustration is they're trying to charge me for tasks like well, if I put 15 posts on your Instagram, that's going to be this amount of money. If I post, if I if I add Instagram and Twitter, that's that amount of money even though it's the same post and I created it, I just took twice, but I'm going to charge more and then if I do this, it's that amount of money. Like Okay, so what are the results that are going to come? Well, I can't guarantee results. And I go, Okay, and then I look at medicine and I see the same thing. It's we need to do an MRI or an MRI for for a knee injury, right? So you tear meniscus or muscle ligament you need to do an MRI. But if you go to a doctor, first thing that you got to do is an X ray. Why? Because you got to do an X ray before you do an MRI, why X ray is not going to show me what an MRI is going to show me. So why do I need to do the X ray first? It's another procedure. It's another task. It's another thing that makes absolutely no difference in outcome. Zero, zilch, nada
Calvin Correli 55:19
for you. But for them, it makes pocket book, right make
Ari Gronich 55:24
pocket book. But what that does is it creates a scenario in which we create incentivized fraud. Totally, right. we incentivize fraud by doing those kinds of things. We do it in companies, we do it in business, we do it and all kinds of the aspects of our life these days, because we're doing task as you said, versus results. And so let's talk about that a little bit because I just had my now my nice little rant but what do you think the cost is of task versus result oriented thinking? Oh, boy,
Calvin Correli 56:02
I mean, it's it's massive, right? It's everywhere. And it's it's the it's the lack of transparency in in choosing right because if you could choose between doctors that did it one way versus the other, like duh, right? But there's no transparency there oftentimes there's there's like de facto monopolies so and then it's the population just being aware of it and and, and choosing based on that we have this tendency to just give her authority away to whomever I think it was. Warner Earhart, founder of s back in the day, he had the saying that people walk around with their umbilical cord in hand just looking for someone to plug it in, somewhere somewhere to plug it into, which I think is a great way to say it. I think it's really true, like people are constantly looking to outsource their authority to someone right or something. So yeah. But it's, it's, it's everywhere. It's like one of my pet peeves is the the whole cookie thing like EU and GDPR. All these privacy laws and like, these specialties, like cookie banners that pop up everywhere, it's like they're designed for people who visit like one or two websites per week, or maybe per day, right? But when you visit like 50 to 100 websites in a day, you end up like clicking that damn thing over and over again. And we condition people just click the Yeah, whatever, go away, right? Like we, we don't read them, we can't. And so that's another like, someone is making a law. That's like making us more private See, secure or whatever, on paper, but in practice, it does nothing. It does the exact opposite, at great cost to every company business needs to implement this every user of the internet that needs to click these stupid ass things, right? It's it's just, there's no accountability. We're not holding other people, businesses, politicians, bureaucrats accountable for actual results. And there's that yeah, it's like a lack of culture of thinking that way. The cost is immense. I honestly think like, I heard a talk by Milton Friedman, a while back where he was talking about how when he was in high school, the government, all of us government, all levels, federal, state, local, all fees and taxes, everything included was about 10% of the entire GDP. I don't know what the number is now, but I'm sure it's a lot higher. But I don't really think though, we're getting that much value for money. And that's just that, that that sort of government level, right? That that this is, but this is everywhere, that we're just wasting so many resources. I wouldn't be surprised if the number is 90% wasted resources based on this inability to think clearly.
Ari Gronich 58:56
What do you think the the about? I've heard this name touted. But the wholly owned subsidiary. You know, Corporation, United States of America or United States of America is a wholly owned subsidiary of corporate America. Right.
Calvin Correli 59:16
Yeah. So I think that's pretty sure yeah,
Ari Gronich 59:18
has become this corporate shill so to speak. And to me the answer, you know, they're they're pretty obvious answers of how this can be renegotiated. Right, getting out lobbyists changing the the elections from ones that have to be funded to, you know, just government we own the airwaves, so to speak, because we're the FCC so why don't we just take back the air. One of the things that I loved about ross perot way back in the day Now, here's what we got to do, we got to get rid of their staff to business right here, where he would go on air, buying his own airtime, we don't even need to buy your own airtime anymore, you get paid in sponsorship to go on YouTube. But what I would love to see politicians do is in 30 minutes segments with now, it's PowerPoints instead of charts, but I want to see them explain their policies in detail, and what they're going to do, and then compare them to the other person's policy and what it's going to do, and do it in a way that's factual. I would love to see that right. So that we can make decisions about policies and bills. Part of the wholly owned subsidiary is that every single bill is filled with pork, right, and what they call what they call pork or whatever, I don't know the exact term, but the it's filled with this bill is for this thing. And yet it's got 50 things in it that have been negotiated for other, you know, special interest in and so on. It would be nice if we did this bill is for this thing, nothing else is allowed to be in that bill. Right. There are things that I believe we could do easily to shift it. But what I want to get out for you is the mentality that we need, the emotional intelligence and maturity that we talked about at the beginning that we need in order to not be reactive, but be proactive in what we're doing. And the way we're doing it so that we can actually accomplish this stuff versus just talking about it in sound bites.
Calvin Correli 1:01:59
As a me, it's it's
Ari Gronich 1:02:02
what I said that was a long intro. I apologize for Drew. But I want to be really clear for you.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:11
Yeah.
Calvin Correli 1:02:12
To me, the problem, the challenge is that that the minute you make these rules, as long as the incentives are the way that they are the economic incentives, people are going to, like the people who want to do bad stuff are going to find a way around it. Right? And as long as we as people don't really care, or we're just so accustomed to like, yep, politicians are corrupt. It's just the way it is. I don't see that really changing, right? Like you can say, Well, okay, campaign finance law, you can only fund like, you know, government funds against brain blah, blah. But then you have Citizens United, right, like that, which, which is free speech, like what are you going to do?
Ari Gronich 1:02:56
Over overturn it?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:59
Yeah,
Calvin Correli 1:03:00
but we still have free speech, right? So So are you and I allowed to sit here and talk and say, Hey, I like this politician. I don't like where's where's the dividing line? I don't maybe there's a simple solution. I'm not sure that there is a simple solution there. And and that, it wouldn't be something that again, people are going to find ways around, right? So that's my I'm skeptic calling me skeptical. I'm open, I'd love that. But But I don't know that. What I my thinking is like, from again, from a bottom up grassroots, like, the more sort of awake the people are, the more the more we live our lives, right? It's like Joseph Campbell, like or Gandhi, like Be the change that you want to see in the world. Like it starts here. It starts with you and I, and I, and with everybody here listening, starting to live their lives this way. And then naturally, you're going to start to demand more of others, including our leaders and our quote unquote, so called leaders, the people in charge, right.
Ari Gronich 1:04:04
Yeah, you know, here's my only caveat to that. I agree that people need to take personal responsibility for shifting who they are. And that that will make a massive change in how we live. And I and I'll go back to the disagreement that the government or the thing or that whatever is somehow outside of that process, and not, we're not outside of the government, we're within it. We are the people and we have the, in my opinion, the responsibility, the obligation, the the, we are the ones who have to shift the system from the outside in and the inside out. And you know, Buckminster Fuller makes it perfect. He says, Don't challenge the system as it is make a better system and put it right next door, you know, so I In many cases, you've got to build the medical system that's going to work, and then actually put it to action before it becomes adopted as the next generation of medical system, you got to create something different, but the responsibility of the people to tell the government what to do, has been abrogated to the corporations that are now telling the government what to do. Yeah, well, it's
Calvin Correli 1:05:30
politicians are like, so the way my analysis is right, like, so if you're a member of Congress, right? There's the budgets to run these campaigns right now are ludicrous, right? Because these, like, you know, there's 100 senators, and the and the national budget is I don't know how much it is trillions, right. So for each seat, is it worth, you know, a fair share of that amount, right, because they can shift huge sums around. And so that's why there's a lot of money riding on this stuff, right? And so, like, I don't see, like, when there is this much money, riding on it like that money is going to find a way to influence your role as politicians. One of the things I forget which book it was, but someone was writing a book about how, like, you know, you can't directly bribe politicians, but you can bribe their family members, right. So then, like, its sons, or cousins, or whatnot, and then it finds its way, like, that's kind of the common practice, because that's legal, technically, even though it's, you know, immoral, but it's, it's legal. And so that's how it's done. And so that, like, it's kind of like, you know, those like when you when you outlaw something, that there's a lot of money riding on an interesting, it's gonna find a way to make a black market out of itself, right. So. But I'm, I do see sort of an awakening in the population where we're no longer a lot of people are waking up to, like, Hey, we're being lied to, like, things are not being very being very efficient or smart. There's too much corruption going on. And I believe that there's a new crop of leaders stepping up and being elected to to public office, whether that's going to be enough to it. At the end of the day, it comes down to do we care enough as citizens, right to be like, no, we're not gonna put up with this crap, right? Do we care enough? Do we care enough to run for office? Do we care enough to tell the difference between who's, you know, has character and moral morals and who doesn't and vote for the guy who with morals and character and not for the other person? Right? And given that, again, the media is bought and paid for as much as the politicians, right? So it's, it's a challenge. And it is, and the other thing that might happen is that people with morals and character get elected, and then, like, they get compromised very early on, right, I do believe that there's a lot of that kind of mafia kind of thing going on, where we tried to get something on you. And now you're gonna like, it's really hard to dig yourself out of that. Not impossible. But it's hard, right? So.
Ari Gronich 1:08:16
So just as a matter of the media being hard to trust these days, and being bought and paid for that happened in the late 70s, early 80s, with deregulation, and deregulation was a thing about how the government control is so bad. So we deregulate but what we did is we stopped the news from being a nonprofit, to being allowed to be for profit. So prior to that, it was required that they report the news, when they deregulated is when they started this 24 hour news cycle that now allows them to be for profit, which is what allowed them to make this be a special interest thing. And so I think if we understand that this is a result of something very specific, any of the the things that we experience are results of very specific things that have been done that can be undone immediately, right? We don't have to wait we could reregulate the news to make sure that it's not for profit, that they have no financial incentives to report bad news. And maybe all of a sudden we'll be able to get journalists at journalistic integrity back where they have to name their sources, make sure that the information is correct before they put something out, and etc, and so forth. And like I said, I had a conversation with somebody in the media yesterday, so We had a great conversation about this kind of a thing. But, you know, going back to you, because I know I'm taking you completely off of topics, normally, you know, used to, to speaking about, you know, like software and, and all the wonderful hell
Calvin Correli 1:10:19
actually if I can jump in here because I have this is is actually a passion of mine I have a project called notable nation notable nation calm, which is about that, and we talked about like that you mentioned the wanting, you would rather be, you know, a consultant for politicians and being one my stated goal is to be a future zoo, not not to be a future, but to be a Special Advisor to the President of the United States unconscious nation building. So I guess
Ari Gronich 1:10:49
we could team up.
Calvin Correli 1:10:50
Alright, sounds like a plan. So that's, that's
Ari Gronich 1:10:53
cool. I'm glad, I'm glad because like I said, I, I look at your background, and I go, Okay, I can have this conversation with him and talk to him about the software and then the niceties of life. Or I could, you know, challenge the status quo take you outside your box a little bit. And, and, you know, bring it to more of my kind of controversial polarizing, you know, conversations, because I think that the conversations that most people are having are at the surface level, and they don't really do much to benefit the world, right, or, or the world moving forward. So I had I had a, a message that I sent to, to a politician to Bernie, actually, so I'll just name him I sent this letter to him and his team, right, that I wanted to have a conversation with him about, about his health care program, because to me, he was just changing the payer, but not the incentive. Right? Until we change, the incentives will never change the outcomes. The incentives are going to get, or the outcomes are getting worse and worse and worse and worse and worse, as long as the incentives are there the way they are. And I guess the reason why I don't I don't like the the government is evil thing, or big government is evil, or any government is evil, or are those kinds of things is because some of the massive problems that we've had was as soon as we deregulated certain industries, like we do, deregulated the savings and loan industry, what happened with the savings and loan industry, we deregulated You know, there used to be a thing about conglomerations, you couldn't be too big to fail, because you weren't allowed to conglomerate your companies. And right now, we just allowed within the last few years, Bayer, which is the largest pharmaceutical company to merge with Monsanto, which is the largest agricultural and food company on the planet, they control. I think it's 80 to 90% of all seed in the world. And so now we have the biggest chemical and agricultural company, combined with the biggest pharmaceutical company making incentives for them to poison you, so that then they can treat you whether that's what they're going to do or not, doesn't even matter, because centive is there. And we allow that incentive to be in existence, because we allow them to merge and have inter intricately woven policies between the two of them that have like, Well, here's how we're going to grow. And then how's it we're going to grow and we're going to grow this way. And we're gonna grow that way. Right? So we've incentivized
Unknown Speaker 1:13:59
fraud,
Ari Gronich 1:14:00
we've incentivized poisoning our air we've incentivized all those things. And since the citizenry for the most part doesn't even know that that's existing or that's happening, they can never protest it. They can ever speak up about it, because they're unaware that it's an existence. And so the last thing that I want to talk to you about, and I think this will lead back to some of what we started with, but I have this premise, silence is a bullies best friend. And that premise ends with so why are we the people allowing the bullies to win? So that's a psychological emotional maturity. We go back to that first initial part of our conversation. Why are we Allowing the bullies to win. Yeah, so
Calvin Correli 1:15:02
the bullies being in this situation,
Ari Gronich 1:15:06
government and industry, let's say, but it's all bullies, it's in general, it could be the bully in your class, when there's 30 kids in the class and one kids a bully and the 30 kids are afraid of them. Right? It could be any scenario in which that small person, the dictator, the queen, the king, the nobleman, the business right, when that small singular person who runs an entire organization, you're, you're a boss, you have 35 employees, right? So you could be the bully? Or you could be the victor. For those people. You have that choice? Right. But why do we, as people let the bullies when, when it goes completely against our own self interest?
Calvin Correli 1:15:55
Yeah, I think, honestly, like moral courage, or just courage in general. is in is in pretty short supply. I have I have a number of friends who are, let's say have controversial viewpoints. And a lot of them business owners, and they choose not to speak up. Because, you know, there's just no upside for them. Right. Like, you know, I say this, I'm gonna alienate, you know, potentially half my staff half my customer base, you know, it's just like, what's, what's the point? You could risk, you know, you know, getting censored on show social media, and, you know, who knows what else they're gonna do? Right? There's threats of, like, there's been in the past, shutting down people's credit cards to get accounts, so they can't take payment. Like there's all kinds of potential downside. And, and I'm someone who's, who's decided, I'm going to speak up regardless, it's costing me business. It's costing cost me some, some great hires that I wanted to have. And they're like, Nope, I'm out. And for me, that's, that's what I have to do as a human being, like, there's a cost. Even I'm here in this country on a visa, right? Do you think it hasn't crossed my mind that when my visa comes up for renewal, that some like, person bureaucrat is going to look at my social media and be like, you know, wait, what did what did you mean with that thing? What am I like? I mean, and maybe they're low look at it and be like, hey, thumbs up? Or maybe they'll look at and be like, I don't know, right? But chances are, it's going to be looked at. So these things might have, you'll have already have real world consequences for me. But for me, it's more important to be in integrity, with my word, and not and with what I stand for, and stand up for what I believe in, even though it is constantly it's only when it's costly, that it counts, right, really, and so. And the more of us that that cower, that, that lets us cower, and let's let's, let's them's you know, quote unquote, limb. But let's ourselves be silenced, the worse it gets. And the more of us speak up, if everybody was speaking up, about the things that are most controversial, and that are going to get you the most in trouble, then, like nobody can do anything, right? Like, it's just, you know, it's too much. So it only works when we let ourselves be bullied. So it comes down to that, what do we choose for us? Right? And that has impact beyond you, beyond you and I write, it has ripple effects. And it that's how we do it. And that's why we're letting it happen right now.
Ari Gronich 1:18:46
Yeah, you know, I, in my profession, I say to doctors, that I that I've consulted and worked with, like, how many people that are doctors that you know, have the same feeling about the moral injury and the systems of medicine that are you're being told to treat a patient, and you know, that it's not the best way to treat that patient? How many doctors? Oh, there's 20 3040 that, you know, personally. So what would happen if you all joined forces, and got loud together? And then how many people that you don't know have that same feeling as well? And what would happen if those 40 people met your 40 people, and then you joined forces and collaborated and came together and then what's going to happen to those administration's those bureaucrats, those money interested, incentivize incentivized people that really don't care about human health. They only care about that bottom line. What happens to them when you stand up Oh, well, when right when I stand up, they can't, you know, they can bully me as an individual, but they can't bully the group as a mass collection. And then I kind of remind them, well, don't you know that you are the majority in the industry, not the minority that you're allowing this small group of administrators and finance people tell you how to take care of a patient that they didn't spend 10 years learning how to do. And it's like, it's almost like having to take them down to a basic level of, of being a child, you know, and reminding them who they, who they are, and what their what's possible for them. And, you know, it's odd to me to see it, and go, Okay, so where was the first time I was bullied when I was told to be silent? And that's kind of where I wanted to go with you a little bit, when's the first time? And then what do you do when you realize when you ask that question and realize that you've allowed yourself to be bullied, because you were bullied as a kid and you stopped maturing? Like said, going back to the right part of our conversation?
Calvin Correli 1:21:30
Yeah, I mean, for me, I was bullied in school. You know, just, you know, from as early as I can remember, like, preschool, kindergarten. So up through, up through, I think eighth grade, I changed schools between seventh and eighth grade and decided to sort of basically opt out of the social hierarchy and focus on, on, on on school learning. And move to a school that that valued, that what was actually being taught it was a private school, from a public school to a private school. So that was definitely a a major, Ed's a major impact on my life and made a major change point, and then had to go back and revisit that whole social element. It was interesting. Last year, actually, a year and a half ago, in April, I was on Necker Island, with Richard Branson and 30 you know, extinguished accomplished entrepreneurs. Some of one of whom is a South African real estate mogul, former friend of Nelson Mandela. And and he has seven private jets like seven one guys, I'm like, Dude sees a why he had such jets. I see one. I like it, I buy it anyway. So like, really, really, like, accomplished entrepreneur, some of them. And I felt like I was right back in school, right? With these, like, do I belong here? Am I worthy, like all of that all of those feelings came back up again. And it was amazing, because it really allowed me to heal some of those old wounds from my school years. And it it really set me off I've my entire life up until then, I've been a terrible quote unquote, like networker, I've been very isolated, just sitting at home in front of my computer programming, you know, my company's all remote. So I just get to sit in this room all day, it really changed my life, like being stuck on an island with 30 high level entrepreneurs for a week, because it allowed me to reprocess all of these emotions, right, that was a major, major win for me from that week. And so, since then, I've been opened up myself so much more to meet other people. So yeah, it's really is, is, you know, I feel
Unknown Speaker 1:24:00
like too, like,
Calvin Correli 1:24:01
I've been bullied in relationships, you know, you know, my first marriage was that there would some, it wasn't like, I just mentioned it, because it's kind of counter intuitive. Right? There were incidents of domestic violence, but there are towards me, right. So and but it was just like, how I grew up really learning to relate right that that like, well, I'm wrong, I'm bad. I'm probably did something and if she like, hits me, it's probably because I deserve it. Like, I mean, it was she wasn't gonna be mean to a pope or anything like that. It wasn't it was quite small in that sense, but still, just that sentiment that that was somehow okay. Right, like, so I think, you know, how we relate really impacts tends to impact all of our relationships, right? So, and we tend to very much project authority, like our parents. relationship with our parents we project that onto the government on to you know some person in uniform on to our boss onto like money onto time right concepts like that so that work of healing our relationships is another like lifelong journey and process that pays dividends on so many levels
Ari Gronich 1:25:24
absolutely and we will definitely have to get into you know another conversation less controversial more on the individual rather than the systems but i wanted to expose that that you know that the system is us we are the system and i think people forget that we made this shit up and we can make it up better so why don't you give three or four you know tips and trips tricks actionable steps that the audience can take to create their new tomorrow today and activate their vision for a better world
Calvin Correli 1:26:10
you want to it's it's comes always back to the basics because the basics is what people miss like always right we are so busy wanting to do all the advanced stuff and we just overlook the most fundamental things so number one what do you want what is it you want what is the outcome what does it look like what does success look like how will how will it feel whatever it is if we're talking about you know what is the ideal government look like right or more realistically for your own life right what what is it that you want for your health your work your relationships your creativity so get really clear on that and then just start moving towards that so many people are focused on what they don't want they're unhappy they just want to complain to someone like victimhood oh my god with a whole other conversation we can have i've spent so much of my life feeling like if only i had had better parents or better friends or better whatever been born in different countries like whatever i'd be more successful and then i'd be happy and the only result of that was that i had to remain unhappy and unsuccessful just to prove them but there's their fault right until i was like dude no like this is on me i can choose i can i can create happiness and success for myself and like they never did anything wrong it's fine right it's on me so and that's again like instead of focusing on what you don't want focusing on blaming people focus on what you want and what you can do and then get working get get to work on that and if there's one out of the thing it would be that really get curious about what it is that you're here to do that sense of like of mission of purpose in life for me that's been such a game changer is you know in february 2008 12 almost 13 years ago now my life hasn't been the same everything changed in that moment that i just knew what i was here to do and having that sense of mission is so important that sense of higher purpose higher purpose higher meaning in life i feel like so many of us are lost we get lost in the details in the minutiae in the like whatever the gossip and like who who you know violated us in some way or whatever because we've lost that sense of deeper meaning deeper purpose
Ari Gronich 1:28:49
i get that so how can people get ahold of you if they liked what you said and they want to learn more about you or your software and how that can might possibly help them how can people get a hold of you
Calvin Correli 1:29:02
yes uh so three websites calvincorelli.com is my personal website notablenation.com is the political project that we've we talked about and then simplyarrow.com one word is the software so those were the three and you can email me calvin at any of those and it'll go to me and yeah it's really you know yeah simpler if you want to if you're if you're doing some kind of business selling education selling information notable nation if you want to get involved in that movement that we have we have a showcase coming up like every thursday night we're gonna do a show called getting real where we discuss some issue and then just try to get real solving it and then coming curlier compromise so Following my personal and everything that I do,
Ari Gronich 1:30:02
awesome, thank you so much Calvin for coming on. I know the audience has gotten a lot of benefit from this conversation and the things that you had to say. And so I really am grateful for this conversation for you helping people create their new tomorrow today and activate their vision for a better world. I am your host, Ari, Gronich. And this is awesome conversations with Ari. No, it's not. It's it's just creating a new tomorrow. But remember to like, subscribe, rate review, comment below so we can start conversations that move the country forward, moving ourselves forward, and create your new tomorrow today. Thank you so much, and I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you. If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world. Go to the website, create a new tomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you just for checking it out and look forward to seeing you take the leap and joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.
