Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Do you worry about applying the Reasonable and Prudent Parent Standard as a foster parent? Check out this interview with Rhonda Serrano, a senior attorney at the ABA Center on Children and the Law, and Kate Schultz, the Deputy Director at Foster Family Alliance of North Carolina and a licensed foster parent. 

In this episode, we cover:

• Where does the concept and term for “reasonable and prudent parent” come from?
• What were the problems that the reasonable and prudent parent standard is trying to address? 
• The intent is to promote and support normalcy. Why is normalcy so important for foster youth?
• Who does this standard apply to? 
• Does it apply to all children and youth in foster care?
• Why is the distinction between an “activity” vs. a “service” important? 
• What is included in extracurricular activities?
• What is included as an enrichment activity? 
• What is included in cultural activities?
• What is considered a social activity?
• Would these activities usually be included?
  • Phone and computer use
  • Being on social media
  • Reasonable curfews and rules for dating and socializing
  • Driver’s licenses and learner’s permits
  • Social activities with friends and peers, including unsupervised social activities, such as:
    • Going to the movies
    • Dating
    • Visiting friends’ houses overnight
• Would background checks be needed to spend the night at a friend's or foster grandparent’s house?
• Are there some activities that are inherently too risky for the foster parent to make the decision on whether to participate?
• The activity is supposed to be age or developmentally appropriate. Who makes this decision?

Factors to consider when applying this standard. 

• Does the child/youth want to do this activity? Does it fit with their interests, likes, and dislikes?
• Is this activity appropriate for their age and something other kids their age get to do? 
• Can this youth/child participate safely for their selves and others, given their behavioral history?
• Is there appropriate adult supervision for this activity?
• Does this activity encourage the child’s emotional and developmental growth?
• Does participating in this activity normalize life for this child/youth? Does it provide a more family-like experience?
• Does this activity provide a way for the child to further their self-identity (including ethnic, cultural, religious, etc)?
• Does it provide an opportunity for healthy risk-taking?
• Will the youth gain adult skills for transitioning?
• Does the biological parent want the child to participate in this activity? 
• Can you afford this activity?
• Risk factor
• Mental health: are there any triggers to be aware of?
• What liability does the resource parent have if things go wrong at the activity?
• How can biological parents be included in decisions about the reasonable and prudent parent standard?
• What happens when the biological parent objects to an activity, but the foster parents are in favor of allowing the child to participate? 

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We’ve been waiting for 15 months for an expectant mom to choose us to adopt her baby. We finally got chosen, but I’m filled with fear. Are we the right family for this baby? Are we up to parenting her? Will we be ruining our lives and maybe hers?

Resources:

• Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)
• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)
• Explaining Prenatal Substance Exposure, ADHD, and Autism (Suggested books)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you parenting an adopted teen or young adult? Check out our interview about important conversations we need to make sure we have. Our guest is Katie Naftzger ,an LICSW, an adult adoptee, and the author of Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years. She also has a course for adoptive parents: The Four Paths To Securing The Relationship With Your Adopted Teen Or Young Adult.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are two conversations we should have about adoption with our youth?
• What conversations should we have about mental health?
• What are some conversations we should have about race with our youth who are of a different race than we are?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My husband and I are seriously considering domestic infant adoption. In my research I have found grants are available for people who want to adopt. We make decent money, but do not want to spend all of our savings on adoption fees when we know expenses will only go up when we have a child. Will filling out applications for grants be a waste of time for us or will they consider us even though we make decent money?

Resources:

• Affording Adoption (Resource page)
• Adoption Tax Credit (Resource page)
• Welcoming an Older Child to Your Family (Resource page)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Foster youth or children who have been in the foster care system make up over 80% of children being sexually exploited. What can you do to prevent this from happening to your child? We talk with Audrey Morrissey, Co-Executive Director of My Life My Choice, a survivor-led nonprofit fighting sexual exploitation of youth.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are some of the different forms that sexual exploitation can take?
• What is included in sexual trafficking?
• Internet exploitation.
• How does grooming take place?
• Are foster children disproportionately represented in the sexually exploited population?
• Are children who have experienced trauma over represented?
• Seeking love and connection.
• Sexual exploit of boys?
• What can parents do to protect their children?
• What resources are available to parents and young people?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I am a nurse and am very aware of the benefits of breast milk. I always imagined I would get breast milk from a milk bank if I adopted. Just recently, I read there aren’t many milk banks around, and they can have a supply issue and be very expensive. I then stumbled upon adoptive parents inducing lactation to feed their adopted baby. How common and easy is this? Is it successful? Does never being pregnant before and having small breasts have an effect?

Resources:

• Breastfeeding the Adopted Child (Resource page)
• Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource page)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you think your child was exposed to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy? If so, a diagnosis can help your child access services and support. Check out this show with Dr. Yasmin Senturias, a developmental-behavioral pediatric specialist with 28 years of experience in developmental pediatrics and prenatal substance exposure. She worked with the American Academy of Pediatrics on developing their FASD Toolkit.

In this episode, we cover:

Prenatal Drug Exposure

• Do the impacts differ depending on what drug the child was exposed to? 
• What’s the difference between Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) or Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS). 
• Short-term impacts? 
• Is the impact less severe for legal drugs, such as nicotine and marijuana?
• Is the impact less severe for legal medications used to treat substance abuse disorders in pregnant women? 
• What are the medical disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) or International Classification of Diseases (ICD) for prenatal drug exposure? 
• Do these diagnoses have to be made at birth?
• What diagnosis is available if the child was exposed to drugs in utero but was not born dependent and didn’t go through withdrawal, and therefore did not have a diagnosis of NAS or NOWS in their medical record?
• Do these diagnoses help the child and youth receive more services?
• What type of doctor can make this diagnosis? 

FASD:

• It is estimated that 1% to 5% of children in the United States may have an FASD. 
• How common is drinking in pregnancy? (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data indicate that approximately 12% of pregnancies may have alcohol exposure.)
• Is the severity of the impact on the child, youth, or adult directly correlated to the amount of alcohol the mother consumed when pregnant?
• What are the actual diagnoses that exist on this spectrum of FASDs?
• Explain the differences in these disorders.
• Is one diagnosis better than another in terms of getting services and support for the child in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood?
• Are these different disorders linear on the spectrum from lesser to greater life impacts?
• Why is it important to get a diagnosis? 
• Is it possible to get a diagnosis without mom admitting to using alcohol or drugs during her pregnancy? What to do if the child’s record doesn’t reflect that the mom drank during pregnancy?
• If you suspect or know that your child or youth was exposed to alcohol in utero, how can you get a diagnosis?
• What are some common misdiagnoses that kids and adolescents with prenatal alcohol exposure may get?
• What type of doctor can diagnose? 
• Do you need a referral from your pediatrician to get an appointment with a specialist?

Dual Exposure to Alcohol and Drugs

• How common is the dual use of alcohol and drugs?
• How can drugs and alcohol together affect the child both in infancy and throughout life?

Impact of Trauma

• How does trauma interplay with prenatal substance exposure?

Resources:

• American Academy of Pediatric Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders 
• The American Academy of Pediatrics FASD Toolkit was developed in coordination with the CDC to raise awareness, promote surveillance and screening, and ensure that all children who possibly have FASDs receive appropriate and timely interventions. Focused primarily on providers, it features basic information on FASD, diagnostic tools for use in children suspected of being affected, evidence-based interventions, and guidelines for case management/

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We adopted our son at two, but we were his foster parents since he was three months. He is now in second grade and is really struggling in school both academically and with bad behaviors. His teacher is not open to hearing me talk about trauma and how his trauma is impacting his learning and behavior. I think she thinks that since he’s been with us for almost his entire life that he hasn’t had trauma. We seem to be getting nowhere with her. Do you have any suggestions for helping her understand that there may be a cause for his struggles other than just being bad?

We welcome our guest Sarah Naish, the CEO and Founder of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma in the UK to contribute to answering this question. Sarah is the adoptive parent of five siblings, a former Social Worker, and the author of many books on foster parenting, including The A-Z of Trauma-Informed Teaching.

Resources:

• Helping Our Children Heal from Trauma (Resource page)
• Parenting Kids with Challenging Behaviors (Resource page)
• Back to School Resources

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you struggling to feel connected to your child? Do you sometimes wish you could turn the clock back and not be parenting this child? If so, you need to listen to this interview with Melissa Corkum, adoptee, adoptive mom, and co-author of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is blocked care, and how does it differ from blocked trust?
• What is the attachment cycle?
• What is the blocked care cycle?
• Does it only happen when parenting children with more extreme behavior issues?
• What causes a well-meaning parent not to be able to attach and bond with their adopted child?
• Is it more common with kinship caregivers—especially non-grandparents?
• What are the common emotions for parents who are experiencing blocked care?
• Ten signs of blocked care. To take the free assessment.   
• What can we do about this feeling of not liking or loving our child? We’ll give some specific examples.
  • Be kind to your body.
  • Establish a healthy mindset.
  • Surround yourself with life-giving people.
  • Connect with your child.
• Can the situation have gone too far? 

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We are close to adopting two kids from foster care. Is there somewhere that shows the possible options for things we should ask for in adoption assistance?  I don’t want to rely just on the child welfare office to hopefully tell us all the possible options.

Resources:

• Josh Kroll, Adoption Subsidy Resource Center, Families Rising (Formerly NACAC)
  • [email protected]
  • 651-644-3036, extension 115
• Foster Care Subsidies: What is Reasonable and How to Negotiate (On-Demand course on CreatingaFamilyEd.org)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building