Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Join this inspiring discussion with two former foster youths who talk about their time in foster care and how that experience shaped them. Lanitta was a pregnant and parenting teen growing up in the North Carolina foster care system. In May of 2022, she joined the 2% population of former foster youth that graduate from post-secondary education with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and finance. Mayia Warren was in foster care and later adopted by her grandmother. She has multiple invisible disabilities, albinism, and is visually impaired. In the spring of 2021, Mayia graduated with a bachelor's degree in Kinesiology. She is an advocate in multiple fields such as: disability, foster care, children and families, and wellness. She is also an independent recording artist, poet, author and philanthropist.

In this episode, we cover:

• Synopsis of your life story.
• What were the hardest parts of being in foster care?
• What were the better parts, if there were any?
• What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how it feels to be in foster care?
• What have been the long-term impacts of sexual abuse?
• What helped you heal from the sexual abuse if you consider yourself healed?
• What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how to help a child or youth heal from sexual abuse? What can these safe adults do to help?
• You have both “succeeded” despite many obstacles. What do you contribute your success to?

Snippet of Mayia’s new album: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t9j1coN76ZarHnTDkDClXYuPZm2ya-t3/view?usp=drivesdk 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

A Lifebook is the story of how your child came to be yours and the story of his life before he came to you. Adoption is only one aspect of your child, and at some point, his life merges into your life. However, he had a life before he came to your family, and his Lifebook tells this part of his story.

Resources

• Adoption Lifebooks (Suggested Books)
• Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource Page)
• Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you considering adopting internationally. If so, you really should listen to this interview with the great Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs: How common in international adoption? How much and when in the pregnancy? What does the impact look like in an infant, preschooler, school-aged child, and older?
  • Alcohol
  • Opioids
  • Cocaine
  • Methamphetamine
  • Marijuana
  • Cigarettes
• Prenatal stress: Does maternal stress during pregnancy have a long-term impact on the child? Is this something that adoptive parents will know other than by assuming from reading the files?
• How heritable are mental illnesses?
  • Depression
  • Bi-polar
  • Schizophrenia
• How heritable are the following?
  • ADHD
  • Intelligence or academic success
• Attachment issues: How common with international adoption, and what are the recognizable symptoms of attachment struggles?
  • Disinhibited social engagement disorder. What is it, and how common?
  • How common is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
• Impacts of neglect: How common is neglect in international adoption?
• Impact of institutionalization in international adoption.
• Impacts of physical abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report physical abuse?
• Impact of sexual abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report sexual abuse?
• Impact of lack of prenatal care.
• How common are the following:
  • Hepatitis B: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • Hepatitis C: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • HIV: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • Congenital Syphilis: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • Prematurity: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • Low Birth Weight: What is the long-term prognosis of a child who was born with low birth weight?
  • Cleft lip/palate: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
  • Congenital heart issues
  • Missing limbs/digits-amniotic band syndrome
  • Albinism
  • Dwarfism
• Most common special needs you are seeing.
• What is the risk to the child if the birth mother has/had tuberculosis?
• Other risk factors to be aware of.
• Tips for evaluating risk factors in international adoption. 
• How to find a clinic that specializes in evaluating international adoption referrals?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We’re 5 years in trying to conceive and I’m TIRED. I have an opportunity to adopt an unborn baby girl. My question is, does it get any easier dealing with the infertility, the failure, the empty feeling? Does your heart stop breaking every month when you know you’re not pregnant? I’m so afraid that I’m gonna get this little baby but still need more…. hope I didn’t offend anyone!

Resources:

• Coming to Terms with Infertility Grief Before You Adopt (Suggested Books)
• Parenting After Infertility
• Breastfeeding the Adopted Child

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us to talk with Cam Lee Small about his new book, The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment.

In this episode, we talk about:

• You wrote this book for Christian adoptees. Why that specific audience?
• Adoptees have been objectified, scrutinized, and infantized. Can you give examples of where you see this?
• The narrative surrounding adoption, especially international adoption: you were saved, you are better off, God called us, etc.
• Loss and grief that is inherent in adoption. Ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.
• Is trauma a part of all adoptions?
• What are the stages of recovery from trauma and how can adoptive, foster, and kinship parents help with this recovery?
• “The cost of gratitude-driven silence is high.”
• I am adopting (kin) a two-year-old girl and planning to keep her basic birth story as part of open conversation. She has details in her story that may be difficult to hear and I would like to keep those from her until she is much much older. Do you agree or disagree with this idea and why? How old were you when you learned your full adoption story?
• Your parents gave you full access to your records, which you could look at with them or alone. Was this helpful, and do you recommend this approach?
• 3-5-7 model for preparing children for permanency
• The reunion experience. Dr. Susan Branco’s seven themes of emotions that participant report from their reunion experience. 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: Hello! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a little while now as I consider my desire to adopt. I’ve had many models around me who adopted their children, and although the process is difficult, I have a desire to provide a home to children in need. It seems like now adoptions are declining for various reasons, and I’m trying to consider my motivations and whether it is right for me and my husband. One of our considerations is that my husband has a physical disability, and I wonder if there is anyone or data about how likely/quickly it’s possible for someone with a significant physical disability to adopt (domestic infant or international). My husband is very physically independent and is the breadwinner in our family. We have not started seriously contacting agencies as we hope to wait a few years before considering starting our family.

Resources:

• Types of Adoption (Domestic, International, Foster Care)
• Choosing an Adoption Agency
• Affording Adoption

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you want to help your adopted or foster child work through the big issues they may face in life? Join our discussion of the seven core issues with Allison Davis Maxon, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the co-author of Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, The Seven Core Issues Workbook for Parents of Traumatized Children and Teens, and The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency Workbook for Children and Teens.

In this episode, we cover:

• The 7 core issues in adoption and foster care: Loss, Rejection, Guilt/Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery/Control
• These 7 core issues impact all adoptees and foster kids to some degree and are crucial for adoptive and foster parents to understand.
• They also impact all members of the adoption or foster care triad: adoptee or foster child or adult, birth parent, and adoptive/foster parent. Today, we will focus primarily on how these 7 core issues impact adoptees and those who spent time in foster care and what role parents can play in helping their children process these issues.
• These core issues can manifest themself differently in children at different ages and stages.
• Parents can provide guidance and support, allowing the child to feel every emotion deeply. They can also use education, understanding, awareness, and acceptance tools to encourage the child to move forward.
• Loss.
  • What have adopted and foster kids lost?
  • What can parents do to help? 
• Rejection.
  • How have adopted and foster kids been rejected?
  • What can parents do to help? 
• Guilt/Shame.
  • What causes adopted and foster children or adults to feel guilt or shame?
  • What can parents do to help? 
• Grief.
  • What can adopted and foster children or adults grieve?
  • What can parents do to help?
• Identity.
  • What are the universal identity issues faced by adopted and foster children or adults?
  • Additional issues for transracial adoptees.
  • Having the label “foster” to your identity is shaming.
  • Does openness in adoption “cure” this issue?
  • What can parents do to help? 
• Intimacy.
  • What issues with intimacy are common with adopted and foster children or adults?
  • What can parents do to help?
• Mastery and Control.
  • What mastery and control issues are common with adopted and foster children or adults?
  • What can parents do to help?

Our children can heal!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases, but we only recommend books that we value. Thanks for your support! 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you in infertility treatment but possibly considering adoption? Dawn outlines what couples may be considering, which indicates they are ready to consider adoption.

Resources:

• Parenting After Infertility
• Types of Adoption
• Affording Adoption

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us to talk with Dr. Kimberly McKee about her book, Adoption Fantasies: The Fetishization of Asian Adoptees from Girlhood to Womanhood.

In this episode, we cover:
This book explores how Asian women and girls, specifically Asian adoptees in the US, negotiate the sensationalism and fictional portrayal of adoption in US popular culture.

• “Modern Family” and “Sex and the City” (and “And Just Like That…”) 
• “Sideways”
• Soon-Yi Previn and Woody Allen
• The limits of multiculturalism 
• How does adoption play into the fetishization of female Asian adoptees? 

 This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

As a mom of four children through birth and adoption, I’ve been there and done that in terms of parenting. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes and have had my share of successes as well. I’ve also had the privilege of interviewing the top parenting experts over the last almost 17 years we’ve been doing the Creating a Family podcast. It can be hard in the heat of the moment (and there are plenty of hot moments in parenting) to remember too many “rules”.  Listen for my top two tips for parenting.

Resources:

• Parenting Kids with Challenging Behavior (Resource page)
• Raising Kids with Neurodiversity - ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences (Resource page)
• Managing Technology & Screens (Resource page)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building