Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Have you ever thought of hosting a child for the summer or over the winter holidays? Check out this show where we interview Kathy Holiday who worked in adoption for 25 years and she supervised the child hosting program for Children’s House International.
In this episode, we cover:

• What are child hosting programs?
• What is the purpose of a child hosting program?
• What are some of the ways different agencies design their hosting programs?
  • Whether they are open to families that do not want to adopt, but are willing to advocate for the child. 
  • When they have host sessions. What times of year?
  • Length of time the children are here. 
• How much does it usually cost for a host family?
• Are there many differences in cost to the host family?
• What type of training?
• What is the age range of children commonly available for hosting?
• What type of special needs do you commonly see?
• What are the children told before they come? Are they aware that they are "on trial" to be adopted? (Be on your best behavior if you want to get adopted?) Do hosting programs put too much burden on kids and set them up for feeling like a failure?
• What type of trauma have the children experienced in the past? 
• Influence of trauma. Typical behaviors you might see in the short term.
• Language issues?
• How much information are you given on the child before you decide whether to accept?
• What type of home study is usually required?
• How to prepare children already in the home? 
• How much do you share with the children in the home about your interest in hosting? Should you share that you might adopt the child?
• Disciplining a host child?
• What type of support should you expect from your hosting agency?
• Advocating for your host child or for other children in the orphanage. What do you mean by advocating and how do you do it?
• If you decide to adopt this child, what is the typical process and how long does it take?
• What are the benefits to being a host family?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Have you ever thought that it would be a lot more effective if the therapist could really see your child in action? That's the gist of home-based therapy. We talk with Stephanie Glickman, a licensed clinical social worker at the Clinical Director of the Family Centered Treatment Foundation and an adjunct professor at the University of North Carolina Charlotte's School of Social Work.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is home-based therapy?
• Is it family therapy or child therapy?
• Why is it so effective for families struggling with behavioral issues?
• What type of issues respond well to in-home therapy?
• What does the research show about the effectiveness of home-based therapy vs. residential placement?
• How does in-home therapy work? How often does the therapist come? How long do they stay? How long does it need to continue?
• What if the child does not act out while the therapist is in the home?
• Who in the home participates in home-based therapy? Parents? Siblings? Others?
• Are their confidentiality concerns with this type of therapy?
• What are some of the advantages and disadvantages to home-based therapy?
• How does the cost of this therapy compare to office-based therapy?
• Does Medicaid cover home-based therapy? 
• How do you find an in-home therapist that is knowledgeable about adoption and fostering and the trauma these kids may have experienced?
• What are some tips for knowing if you have found a good fit between the therapist and your family?
• Family Centered Treatment Foundation

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do your child's reactions seem bigger than they should be to everyday events? Are your reactions sometimes a bit too big? What causes us to get triggered by our kids or to trigger them? We talk with Dr. Tripp Ake, a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience in the field of child trauma treatment. He is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center and the program director for the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

In this episode, we cover:

• What do we mean by “triggering” and how does it differ from getting our buttons pushed?
• What’s the difference between being triggered and being annoyed or irritated?
• How to become a trauma detective?
• What types of things can trigger a child?
• How much of having our “buttons pushed” stems from the belief that our child’s behavior is a reflection on us as parents? 
• How do the belief systems that we grow up with impact us as adults? We may not even be aware that hold these values and may not even agree with them.
• How can we identify the things in our past that make us likely to be triggered?
• Examples of things parents have told us drives them to distraction (aka triggers them).
  • Whining
  • Disrespect
• Two universal parenting tips for improving a child’s behavior.

National Child Traumatic Stress Network 

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Trauma can impact almost every single aspect of a child's development. But there are things parents can do to buffer that impact. We talk with Brett Loftis, CEO of Crossnore Communities for Children and Dr. Dawn O'Malley, Crossnore's Senior Director of Clinical Services.

In this episode, we cover:

• How can trauma impact a child’s attachment and relationships?
  • How does this impact them in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood?
• How can trauma affect a child’s physical development or brain development?
• How can trauma impact a child’s emotional development?
  • Self-regulation
  • Disassociation
• How does trauma impact the way the child sees and values herself?
• How can trauma affect a child’s behavior? 
• How can trauma impact a child’s ability to learn?
• What are some of the long-term physical health consequences of having been exposed to trauma as a child?
• What can parents and other adults do to build resilience in our kids to help withstand some of the impacts of trauma?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

We talk with Corey Burke, an embryologist and Tissue Bank Director at Cryos International-USA and Dr. Mark Trolice, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Director of The IVF Center in Orlando and Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine, and author of The Fertility Doctor's Guide to Overcoming Infertility about decisions doctors and patient have to make concerning eggs or embryos after retrieval.

In this episode, we cover:

• Overview of the IVF Process.
• What determines how many eggs will be produced?
• What number of eggs is ideal for an egg retrieval as part of IVF? Are more eggs always better?
• Once eggs are retrieved, one of the choices a patient and doctor have to make is whether to freeze eggs vs. embryos.
• Compare the challenges between freezing eggs vs freezing embryos.
• How does vitrification differ from other methods of freezing?
• What is the thaw rate success for frozen eggs compared to frozen embryos?
• Why are eggs more difficult to vitrify than embryos?
• Does the quality of the eggs retrieved factor into the decision?
• What are the advantages to the patient of freezing eggs rather than embryos? 
• What are the advantages to the patient of freezing embryos rather than eggs?
• How many eggs is usually recommended for a woman to freeze to have a good chance of being able to create a viable embryo?
• Can genetic testing be done on eggs?
• How long can human eggs remain viable if frozen vs. the viability of frozen embryos?
• If embryos are created, one of the choices a patient and doctor have to make is whether to transfer fresh or frozen embryos. 
• How does genetic testing impact fresh vs frozen?
• What are the advantages to the patient of transferring fresh embryos?
• What are the advantages to the patient of transferring frozen embryos?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire infertility patients and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are adoptive parents eligible for parental leave? What about foster parents or kinship parents? We talk with Dr. Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell, with the Center for Parental Leave Leadership and co-authors of The Parental Leave Playbook.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are the laws and rules surrounding parental leave in the US?
• Who is eligible for parental leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
• Parental leave on the company level.
• How does parental leave differ from maternity leave or paternity leave?
• Policies that require employees to pay back their parental leave if they do not stay employed with the company/organization for a certain period of time. 
• How does this differ from other countries?
• Are the laws/rules different for mothers and fathers? Are they gender neutral?
• Do you receive your salary when you are on parental leave?
• Does parental leave differ for someone adopting a child?
• Are adoptive families protected under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
• Are birth mothers eligible for parental leave?
• Does there have to be a legal relationship between the parent and the child? Does parental leave differ for someone fostering a child? Are you eligible for parental leave with every new foster placement?
• Can kinship caregivers receive parental leave?
• The Parental Leave Playbook lays out a process for approaching parental leave in three phases: preparing for your leave, during leave, and returning from leave.
• What steps should you take to be successful in each phase?

To support the Paid Leave for All Act

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

We talk about raising your grandkids with Christine Adamec, coauthor with Dr. Andrew Adesman, of The Grandfamily Guidebook. She and her husband have been raising their teenage grandson since his infancy.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why are grandparent led families increasing?
• What are some common emotions that grandparents and other kin experience when they realize that they need to step in and raise their grandchildren or other kin?
• What type of decisions should you make about legal custody or permanency? How to protect your grandchild? How to enroll them in school? How to be able to get medical and mental health care for them? How to prevent the child’s parents from removing the child from your home? Becoming a foster parent? A will?
• What are some of the strains that grandparents can experience with their children (the parents of their grandchildren)?
• How to navigate the relationship with your adult child? 
• Explaining the situation to the child? (“Why am I living with you and not my parents?”)
• Raising kids that likely experience trauma, including prenatal exposure.
• Adjusting to parenting in this new time. 
• Some of the joys of raising your grandchild.

Resources:

• AARP has a Benefits QuickLINK tool to find out if you or your grandchild may qualify for 15 public benefits — 10 for adults and families and five for children.
• Creating a Family podcast: Helping Parents & Kids Manage Phones, Internet, & Gaming

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Talking with your adopted or foster child about the hard parts of their story can feel like a daunting task. Should you tell your child that her birth father is in jail or that her birth mother is addicted to drugs, or that she was conceived by rape? If so, how in the world do you share this news. We talk with Lesli Johnson, an EMDR therapist who specializes in adoption and foster care and an adult adoptee; and Susan Myers, a licensed Master Social Worker with Adoptions from the Heart Adoption Agency with offices throughout the northeast.

In this episode, we cover:

• Should you tell your child these difficult parts of their history? 
• Talking about the hard parts of adoption
• How should you tell your child these hard parts of their background?
• How do you lay the groundwork with young children in order to fill in the details later?
• By what age should you have shared all of your child’s story with him?
• Give specific examples of how a conversation might go with a preschooler, and how would you fill in the gaps for a 6 year old, 10, 13 year old, etc.
  • Child abuse
  •  Addiction
  • Parent in jail
• Can you use a lifebook to talk about rape, imprisonment, drug and alcohol addiction?
• What is a lifebook and what should be included in a lifebook?
• How to use a lifebook when there is jail, rape, abuse, etc in the child’s story?
• Specifically, how should parents tell their child that they were conceived during a rape?
• Oversharing can happen with both parents and with children.
• It’s tempting when your child is an infant to tell people private information. Why should foster and adoptive parents avoid this?
• When might it be important to share some details of the child’s background?
• How do you help your child understand how much of his story he should share with others outside the family?
• How can adoptive parents help their children understand that they are more than the hard parts of their history and that they are not doomed to repeat their birth parents’ mistakes?

Additional Resources:

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past, by Betsy Keefer  and Jayne E. Schooler

Talking with Children about Difficult History,  by Holly van Gulden 

Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child (2nd Edition September 21, 2011), by Beth O'Malley M.Ed

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Primary Ovarian Insufficiency is a difficult and little understood diagnosis for infertility with ramifications for your general health as well as for your fertility. We talk with Dr. Alex Quaas, a Board Certified Reproductive Endocrinologist with Reproductive Partners of San Diego and an Associate Professor at UCSD.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI)?
• Is there a difference between the labels/diagnoses - Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, Premature Ovarian Failure, Premature Menopause? 
• What are the symptoms (other than an inability to get pregnant)?
• Is there a decrease in egg quality and increase chromosomal abnormalities?
• How is POI diagnosed?
• How does the diagnosis differ from PCOS?
• What causes primary ovarian insufficiency?
• Is there any correlation between POI and taking Accutane (a treatment for acne) as a teen?
• Is there a link between premature ovarian failure and the HPV vaccine (Gardasil or Cervarix)?
• Can losing one ovary lead to Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?
• Are those with autoimmune diseases more susceptible to POI?
• Can IVF lead to Primary Ovarian Insufficiency? Is there any evidence that aggressive stimulation of the ovaries during a typical IVF cycle can contribute to POI?
• How effective is IVF with woman with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency? 
• What are the odds of a spontaneous pregnancy for a woman with POI?
• What is the role of the infertility nurse in helping women with POI?
• Is there a medical way to slow down the diminution of ovarian egg reserves?
• Are their lifestyle choices that contribute to POI or contribute to increasing a woman’s ovarian reserves?
• Are there supplements or vitamins that help improve fertility for women with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?
• Has alternative medical approaches or Eastern Medicine been effective with increasing fertility for women with POI?
• What are the other health implications for women with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire infertility patients and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What are some tried and true ways to afford adoption? In this episode, we talk with Julie Gumm, author of  You Can Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption. We cover ways to find “extra” money that you can put towards your adoption, ideas for increasing your savings, and reasons to be cautious about asking for donations to pay for an adoption.

In this episode, we cover:

• How much do adoptions cost for families adopting in the US?
• Julie’s story of how they afforded to adopt
• What are the different options for paying for an adoption? Savings, second job, sell things, grants, fundraise, ask for money from family and friends
• How to effectively save money? - “Start with the money you already have”
• How long in advance do you need to start?
• Federal Adoption Tax Credit State Adoption Tax Credit, Adoption Employee Benefits
• Second job and freelance ideas
• Downside of adding additional work to your schedule
• Selling items you have but don’t use much or don’t need
• Fundraising to help pay for an adoption. Controversial in some adoption circles
• Difference between offering a service or event vs. asking for money
• Things to be aware of when deciding on how to fundraise for adoption.  Dangers of oversharing your child’s story in order to raise money

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building