Long before Siri, there was Telkom Enquiries.

The OG assistant helped us find phone numbers and even told the exact time, to the second (Didn't we have watches?).

Darren "Whackhead" Simpson calls up the voice of Telkom, Helen Naude, and pesters her with a series of questions - with the infamous call-waiting music and all!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your dog is pregnant. What do you do? Claim for puppy maintenance, of course!

Darren "Whackhead" Simpson calls up a 'neighbour' to let him know that his dog is a father to seven newborns and he's expecting a maintenance fee of R100 for each puppy.

Whackhead's cursing and constant insults get the poor neighbour all worked up until he eventually threatens to come over and "tear this guy a new a*hole". 

Catch Whackhead's Pranks on Kfm Mornings, Weekdays at 8.10am on Kfm 94.5!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every Monday, Darren "Whackhead" Simpson calls an unsuspecting victim and tries to get through his entire list of crazy questions on his Senseless Survey before he gets caught out!

How many questions will he manage today? And which one will send his prank victim over the edge?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get ready to blush! Darren "Whackhead" Simpson pranks a woman into thinking that there's something wrong with her 'battery-operated boyfriend'. 

In what is possibly his most mortifying prank, Whackhead calls a woman to let her know that her vibrator has been recalled because of a defect.

If that's not bad enough, he runs he through a series of personal questions about the product. 

And she coyly does her best to answer them!

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Darren "Whackhead" Simpson once again plays the worst telemarketer in the world. This time he acts as Jeffrey from Halloween.net and harasses Zelda in a bid to get her to buy a R500 variety pack.

His persistence naturally puts Zelda off but he won't take no for an answer!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's little more exciting to high schoolers than the thought of leaving home, seeing the world and figuring out who you are outside of school. 

When a son opts for a gap year in Aspen his mom is on board because she knows that he's a good, trustworthy boy. As far as she's concerned, he's going over to work in a restaurant. 

This all changes when she receives a call from Darren "Whackhead" Simpson. 

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every Monday on Kfm Mornings, Darren "Whackhead" Simpson calls up a random citizen from the Senseless Bureau of South Africa and dupes him/her into thinking that they're answering questions for their country.

How many crazy questions will Whackhead ask his unsuspecting victim before they hang up? And which one will send him over the edge?

Listen to the Senseless Survey in the audio clip to find out!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Darren "Whackhead" Simpson joins forces with a self-proclaimed Farmville addict to prank her gatvol husband.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.