The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Lost and Found/Surviving and Thriving


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I hear from daughters who were trapped in the narcissistic family wars and psychopathologies. The narcissistic mother is without mercy or empathy. Narcissistic mothers who give their daughters a lot of "attention" have their own selfish motives. They are creating the perfect child who will become the ultimate narcissistic supply for them. Mother has modeled a living replica of her superiority and perfection. When children are very young, their very existence and sense of reality depends on how they are treated and how they are conditioned by their parents. Some narcissistic mothers fuse psychologically with their young daughters. The little child is encased in the psychologically prison her mother has created. 

Some daughtes of narcissistic mothers become narcissistic personalities---miniatures of the pathological mother. Other daughters suffer thorughout childhood, always out of step with the cruel manipulations of their cruel, cold mothers. Some spent most of their childhood leaerning how to become invisible. They hid in their room, reading, listening to music. As they got older, they were away from the house as much as possible, visiting friends, sitting in public libraries, going to movies alone or just wandering around by themselves, doing anything toavoid mother---the fire tongued dragon blocking the cave's entrance.

Some daughters become entngled in a maze of dysfunctional relationships. They marry narcissistic men and discover they are repeating with them the entrenched familiar patterns of their family of origin---moving from narcissistic mother to narcissistic spouse. 

If you are the daughters of a narcissistic mother, you have survived a very difficult journey. Take stock---embrace and celebrate you unique individual you are. Practice self care: be sure to get the rest that you need each day and the sleep that you deserve. Movement and exercise work to keep you grounded psychologically and physically. Spend time with Nature, the great restorer and source of Beauty. Explore and appreciate your unique creative gifts.  

 

 

The little child is encased in the psychological prison her mother has created. Mother's message: "As long as you do, think, feel and achieve everything that I expect and demand of you, I will accept you and love you (on my terms

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The Narcissist in Your Life PodcastBy Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT

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