Deconstructing Mamas

“Your soul is waiting for you to say yes to it again.” Rachel Marie Martin 

Our episode this week is with Rachel Marie Martin, the ever-popular social media site called "Finding Joy."  She is the author of three books, the biological mom of seven, the bonus mom to four and the daughter of church planters.

Rachel has a fierce passion to be vulnerable and tell her story in all its "rawness."  Why is she so raw? Because that’s her heart and in sharing she hopes you too unearth and celebrate your own bravery, story and purpose.

If you feel like you have lost your "spark" or don't know if you are allowed to or find yourself unable to truly experience joy, this podcast episode is for you.

Some of the topics we explore are these:

• Rediscovering your spark, especially for those of us who feel lost or stuck in your own story.
  
  
• What a "soul map" is and how to create it.
  
  
• How we can get our spark backin the midst of wiping baby butts and driving kids all over creation.
  
  
• Wisdom for those who are just feeling so overwhelmed in their day-to-day.
  
  
• Helping our kids to love their own story and embrace who they are early on, perhaps fanning their “spark” so they never lose it.

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "soul map" and "unstuck" and "brave"  "wondering." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Rachel at the following:

Website:  Finding Joy

Instagram: @finding_joy

Facebook:  Finding Joy

Body and spirit marry in the chapel of the soul. They marry every minute of every day, in all activities and in all inactivity, in all thoughts and in all actions, or they marry not at all. (If) They don’t marry, we do not know sexuality with soul, and therefore our sexuality remains incomplete and insufficiently human. We do not find the soul of sex by spiritualizing the body but by coming to appreciate its mysteries and by daring to enter into its sensuousness. --Thomas Moore

Our episode this week is with Dr. Kelly Edmiston, who erves as the Lead Pastor at the Vineyard Church in Stafford, Texas. She enjoys suburban life with her husband Ben, and their three children. Kelly's passion is the intersection between spirituality and sexuality and providing space for all people to learn to live free from shame.

If you have been harmed by purity culture, don't know what to do with yourself and your own sexuality or if you struggle with receiving pleasure and especially if you don't know how to broach the subject with your kids, this podcast episode is for you.

Some of the topics we explore are these:

• The harm of purity culture and why parents who are "deconstructing their faith" struggle to talk to their kids.
• Contemplative practices for kids of every age when it comes to the intertwining of the body and the soul.
• Why pleasure matters and how it can lead us to God.
• How parents can embody a "sex-positive" message.
• Difficult topics such as hookup culture, masturbation, pornography or sexual identity within the framework of spiritual sexuality.

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "toenails" and "reparent" and "desire" and "practices" and "authority." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Kelly at the following:

Substack: Kelly Edminston

Instagram: @kmedmiston

Facebook: Kelly Michelle Edmiston

I found the freedom to take up space instead of trying to conform to a mold forged in the fire of the empire. The truth is that to become comfortable in my skin and with my scars, I had to leave a place where scars had to stay hidden. In the space of the wilderness, I learned to like all that was OTHER about me. And I hope you give yourself permission to like all that is OTHER about you, too.
Jenai Auman

Our episode this week is with Jenai Auman, a Filipina-American mom, author of the book, Othered, storyteller and artist. She lives in Houston, TX with her husband and two boys. Drawing from her years of church ministry experience, education, and trauma-related training, she writes on healing, hope and the way forward for those who have experienced spiritual abuse and religious trauma.

If you feel “othered” and unwelcome in traditional Christian spaces, this podcast episode is for you.

Some of the topics we explore are these:

• Marginalization within the church.
• How Jenai's personal journey as a biracial individual shaped her understanding of belonging and exclusion, both within the church and in broader society.
• How people who feel marginalized by the church can cultivate a sense of belonging within themselves, even when the community around them fails to provide it.
• How the journey toward self-belonging impacts the way we relate to others, especially those who may still be part of the religious institutions that caused harm.
• Wisdom for parents who want to guide their children through the process of finding or creating their own spiritual belonging.
• How to navigate the balance between teaching our children about faith and protecting them from the potential harm that can come from toxic religious environments
• Some practical ways to create a family culture that embraces belonging and inclusion.

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "empire" and "safe" and "chosen" and "EMO Joanne Gaines." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Jenai at the following:

Website: jenaiauman.com

Instagram: @jenaiauman

Facebook: Jenai Auman

Threads: @jenaiauman

One purpose of healing is to be able to experience joy. Our subconscious seeks what is familiar. Joy without guilt is not familiar to many. (Chelsea Haines)

We start off Season Six (can you believe it?) with Chelsea Haines, otherwise known as @yourgutsygal and the founder of the Gut Health Agency. So many of you have asked "what do we do now" to move into a healthy and wholistic body/spiritual space, and if this is you, this podcast episode is for you.

On this episode, we explore the idea of healing our nervous system through our gut, but it's certainly not just our physical gut, but also our inner "gut" as it communicates with our souls. Some of the topics we explore are these:

• How our physical, emotional and spiritual are intertwined and why that's so important in our healing.
• How trauma as a result of high-control religion might produce chronic physical symptoms and how we can heal from that.
• Neuroplasticity and memory reconsolidation and how this might be key in our healing journeys.
• Why joy is so often paired with guilt and how we can work to experience pure joy in our lives.
• How all this plays out in our parenting journeys.

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "energetic sponges" and "edges" and "random bombardment" and "" and "firm wall." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Chelsea at the following:

Website: theguthealthagency.com

Instagram: @yourgutsygal

We tend to look for answers outside ourselves. From books. Church. From friends or family. Even from society. We are called deeper, to sink down inside ourselves, where what we need is intertwined with what the Divine has to offer us. The place where we can trust and rest and then go and do. (Esther Goetz)

Our guest this week is our very own Esther Goetz. Esther is a deconstructing mama of four, an author and spiritual director, dedicated to helping you take your next step in the growth of your soul.

On this episode, we explore the very important idea of reclaiming our internal authority that was taken away from us by high-control religion, culture and even family systems.

We chat in depth about these ideas:

• The value of spiritual direction, what it is not and what it is.
• The difficulty of moving from external authority to internal authority. Some of the messages we’ve received in high-control religion.
• The importance of embarking on this journey to discover ourselves and take up the mantle of making decisions from a place of internal authority.
• Some practical tools for reclaiming our own internal authority.
• Taking the practices of spiritual direction and applying them to our parenting.
• Resources that Esther has for those who find themself parenting and in this ever-evolving faith journey.

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "companionship" and "connection" and "divine spark" and "holy listening" and "midwifery." Find out why when you listen.

LASTLY, we have a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT at the end of the podcast about a resource that's coming up in the summer! WE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!

You can find Esther at the following:

Website: estherjoygoetz.com

Spiritual Direction: Heard and Held

Spiritual/Author Spaces:

Facebook:  Esther, the Dolly Mama
Instagram: @estherthedollymama

Moms of Big Kids:

Facebook: Moms of Bigs
Instagram: @momsofbigs

“We are meaning-making machines. Chaos is uncomfortable, and thinking that everything that happens to us is due to random chance feels cold and impersonal. The brain seeks out patterns and order when they are not necessarily present.” Sarah Henn Hayward

Our guest this week is Sarah Henn Hayward. Sarah is a mom of two, an author and our first self-proclaimed agnostic/atheist on the podcast. To say that our conversation was fascinating and enlightening would be an understatement.

On this episode, we explore these topics:

• Unpacking the realization that so much of our former faith was about control and distraction from the realities of life. We were looking for safety and consistency and a formula to explain all of life’s pain.
  
  
• Embracing the uncomfortable choas/mystery/the "I don't know"
  
  
• What happened when Sarah finally said the words "I don't believe in God" out loud
  
  
• Deconstructing faith when it leads to actual de-conversion or agnosticism/atheism
  
  
• Navigating parenting with a partner who is still believes in God.
  
  

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "mystery" and "wonder" and "peace" and "what if." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Sarah at the following:

Website: sarahhennhayward.com

Instagram:  @shaywardwrites

Facebook:  Sarah Henn Hayward

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. - Malynda Hale

Malynda Hale, mom, activist, singer, author and actress, is our guest this week. Malynda uses her voice through her music and social media presence as an educating activist to effect change within social justice, female empowerment, LGBTQ+ rights, the Black Lives Matter movement, Antisemitism and Progressive Christianity.

On this podcast episode, we dive deep into lots of that, but we also spend our time hashing out how to truly love ourselves and those around us, especially our kids. "It doesn't have to be complicated" was a theme that came up over and over again, something that felt like a balm to our over-busy and way-over-complicated lives.

We spent time chatting through these incredible questions:

1.  You are what you call a "progressive Christian. How would you define progressive christianity for yourself?

2. You use your platform to fight for the things that are important to you, which we really respect and love. What social justice issues do you feel aren’t getting the attention they deserve in the Church?

3. Your quote, "promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate," is powerful, and something that we strive for in our approach to deconstruction. How do you apply this to your life and why does it feel important to you?

4. We talk a lot about how our own journeys shift the ways that we relate to our kids. How does your work as an activist and artist spill over into your parenting?

5. Picture yourself sitting at your dinner table with your daughter. What would be your overarching message to her about God, faith and herself?

Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like "normal" and "change" and "love" and "simple." Find out why when you listen.

You can find Malynda at the following:

Website: malyndahale.com

Instagram:  @malyndahale

Threads:  @malyndahale

P.S. There is one passion project that Malynda speaks about on the podcast that we want to highlight this week.  R.O.C ERA is a non profit organization that was founded with the hope to make the impossible, possible by serving our underprivileged children in black and brown communities.

They provide mentoring programs that curate experiences and expose them to programming that is not traditionally available to youth in impoverished communities. Programs that consist of visual and performing arts, fitness, nutrition, social and emotional skills.

The Church needs to be called out and take responsibility for the damage it has done to people. The survivors should be heard. So no, I don't always talk about the good. Because until the darkness is exposed, and more people are removed from power that absolutely should not be in it, I will not be quiet. - Amber Schultz

Amber Schultz, founder of Fundie Freed, a webcast devoted to telling religious trauma survivor stories, comes on the podcast as our guest this week. Amber is a single mama of three daughters and is highly passionate about breaking free from toxic religion and learning to love herself and others fully and without conditions.

On this podcast episode, we hear Amber's own story of survival, having freed herself from an abusive family and church, along with the intermingling of those harmful systems. Amber walks us through these very difficult and important questions:

1. You grew up in an abusive home, where silence and obedience were strictly enforced and you were kept under complete subjugation. Can you share with us, as you are comfortable, an example from your childhood that might give us deeper insight?
   
   
2. Once you gave yourself permission to seek therapy, what were some of the toxic theologies that you discovered were, as you’ve described them, “lies you’d been told?”  What’s been the hardest lie to unlearn?
   
   
3. You are learning to love yourself. Was there a specific “aha” moment or tool that has helps you to do this? (we all struggle here)
   
   
4. We love your platform and your YouTube channel, Fundie Freed. Why did you create this space?

We also talk loud and long about taking a different parenting path than the way Amber grew up and what key values she brings into her parenting as she navigates her life as a single mom with three girls. These are powerful and have to do with purity culture, bodily autonomy, emotional health and creating a safe space.

You will be both heart-broken and filled with all kinds of hope as you listen to this episode. We hope you join in.

You can find Amber at the following:

Youtube: youtube.com/@fundiefreed

Facebook: Fundie Freed 

Instagram:  @fundiefreed

Deconstruction invites us to become really honest about what we believe, why we hold those beliefs sacred, how they influence the way we relate to our creator, and who is actually served by our beliefs. If we trust the process enough to lower our walls and honestly engage with our questions, deconstruction promises to reveal undiscovered bias, limiting beliefs, and any flawed doctrines that actively harm people. - Angela J. Herrrington

Back for round two, Angela J. Herrington, comes on the podcast as our guest this week. We are doubly-thrilled to have her back! Angela is a deconstructing mama to five kiddos, a deconstruction coach and as of late, an author to a brand-new book!

Whether you are deconstructing due to curiosity, uncertainty, or a compelling inner voice, Angela helps you explore the deeply personal journey of faith deconstruction compassionately and without judgment. Together, the two of you will slog through the uncertainties and complexities of faith deconstruction. Laughing, crying, and raging against the toxic religious machine together.

On this podcast episode, we find out why Angela is so passion about writing her new book Deconstructing your Faith without Losing Yourself and especially tackle these questions:

1. Is deconstruction a trend? Why or why not?

2. How do we navigate deconstruction without losing what feels like our core selves?

3. What tools are there to sort through our ideas and beliefs and why is a sense of autonomy/internal authority so important in this process?

4. How do we navigate the resentments that we might still hold for our old church, family members, belief systems? 

We also discover what hope there is for our kids as we navigate a shifting and evolving faith, especially perhaps the importance of a relationship with themselves, so vital and different than perhaps the way we grew up.

Angela is feisty and fantastic (if we say so ourselves). You will find yourself nodding along and saying lots of "me toos" and "amens" (if that's even still allowed - winky face).

You can find Angela at the following:

Website:  www.angelajherriington.com

Facebook: Angela J Herrington

The Faith Deconstruction Cafe 

Instagram:  @angelajherrington

Pinterest:  @angelajherrington

X:  @angherrington

Linked In: Angela J Herrington

YouTube:  Angela J Herrington

The question we need to ask is this one: Am I being pushed by fear or led by love?  (Emily P. Freeman)

We are absolutely thrilled to have Emily P. Freeman join us on the podcast this week. Emily is a New York Times best-selling author, a mom to three, a spiritual director and podcast hostess.

Her most important work is to help create soul space and offer spiritual companionship and discernment for anyone struggling with decision fatigue and trying to make a life in the process.

Emily vulnerably speaks about her own spiritual journey and we walked through ways we can be pushed by fear instead of led by love and perhaps how to flip the narrative in our own life when it comes to making hard decisions, especially in the transitional space of walking out of and into the various "rooms" in our lives: faith communities, seasons, jobs, and so many more.

She allows us a behind-the-scenes look into her own very difficult decision to walk out of the "room" of the church she and her family were an integral part of and all the emotions surrounding it: grief and relief to name just two. She guides into understanding how leaving something as important to her as church helped us to hold onto her very important faith.

Our favorite part of the podcast was two-fold: when we discover why it's so essential to be your own friend during times of transition, especially during an evolving faith journey, and also how Emily has navigated walking in and out of many different spiritual "rooms" while in the throes of raising her three children.

This episode will be a balm to your spiritual soul, a respite in the rush of life and give room for you to take a long, slow, deep breath

You can find Emily at the following:

Instagram:  @emilypfreeman
Website:  www.emilypfreeman.com
Podcast:  The Next Right Thing