Deconstructing Mamas

Welcome to Season Eight!

This is the beginning of the final season of our podcast!

This week, the two of us are chatting through these questions:

1. What’s one word or image that comes to mind when you think about this podcast’s beginning?

2. What was the ache or question we were carrying that made us want to start this show?

3. Can you remember a moment early on when you thought, “Yes, this matters”?

4. What have you learned — about yourself, your faith, your parenting — through these conversations?

5. Have there been episodes or moments that live in your body still — ones that cracked something open?

6. Why does it feel like now is the time to begin wrapping things up?

7. What are you most curious about or tender toward as we enter this last stretch?

8. If this final season could do just one thing really well — what do you hope that would be?

9. What would you say to someone just discovering this podcast now — here at the beginning of the end?

10. What’s one quiet hope you’re carrying into these final episodes?

Our episode this week is with our own Lizz Enns Petters, mom of two, author and podcast hostess.

Our conversation is full of laughter, seriousness and our decision to have permission to explore our faith, along with Lizz's latest accomplishment of being published in a new children's Bible called God's Stories as Told by God's Children.

We chat through these questions:

1. You recently contributed to the Bible for Normal People’s publication of a children’s Bible. Why did you want to be a part of that? 

2. What makes this particular children’s Bible different than all the others out there?

3. You had a few stories you could have chosen to “re write”. Why did you choose this particular one? 

4. What did you want your little readers to really receive about this story? 

5. What have been your kids reactions to this Bible? 

6.  If you could sit with your kids in this current stage of life and tell them one thing they would take with them on their life’s journey, what would it be and why?? 

As this is our last episode of Season Seven, Esther and Lizz spend time candidly sharing their thoughts on the Bible and deconstructing and giving themselves permission to be right where they are on their spiritual quests.

Instagram:  @lizzennspetters

Facebook:  Lizz Enns Petters, the Deconstructed Mama

“There's a misconception that once you leave religion, you magically learn everything you missed about relationships and sex” - The Sexvangelicals

Our episode this week is with Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Postema, sex and relationship therapists, coaching and podcast hosts specializing in recovery from high-control religion as it relates to relationships and sexual intimacy.

Our conversation is full of candor, surprises and mic-drop moments over and over again. We were blown away by one thing that will leave you wanting more. 

We chat through these questions:

1. Even after all these years many of us still tense at that word. How do we help foster curiosity around sexuality in our children as opposed to fear and shame?

2. How do we navigate the grief or trauma that can get activated for us as parents when talking about sexuality differently? 

3. How do we lead our children through their questions when we are still working out our own thoughts and feelings on sexuality and sexual identity? 

4. Are there tangible ways that we can heal our own wounds around sex while navigating all this with our own kids? 

5. What do we do when we disagree with our kids’ choices around sex? How can we support their journey without shame?

6. How important is maintaining our own sex life in the midst of parenting? How can we do this when it feels like the last thing on the list? 

Get ready to have your heart and mind and hopefully body open to new possibilities when it comes to healthy sex. There was one big surprising idea where we can all start no matter where we are in our relationship with this tricky and important subject.

If you have these questions:

How do we rebuild healthy, pleasurable, intimate relationships? 

How do we give ourselves permission to be sexual people?

This is the podcast episode for you!!

You can find the Jeremiah and Julia, the Sexvangelicals here:

Website: www.sexvangelicals.com

Instagram:  @sexvangelicals

Facebook:  Sexvangelicals

Podcast:  Sexvangelicals

Substack:  substack.com/@sexvangelicals

''Without women we don’t have Jesus. We don’t have Christianity. We don’t have any of it.” (Claire K. McKeever-Burgett)

Our episode this week is with Claire K. McKeever-Burgett, mom of two and author of Blessed are the Women: Naming and Reclaiming Women's Stories from the Gospels.

Our conversation is full of wisdom, both fierce and tender, and the reclamation of the divine feminine in all her forms. 

We chat through these questions:

1. Were there any particular women in the Bible whose stories deeply impacted you personally? If so, why?

2. What was the most surprising thing you learned while researching the stories of these women?

3. The Bible was written in a time and culture that was largely patriarchal. How did you navigate the cultural context while writing about these women’s stories?  

4. What do you hope is the lasting impact of your work on the way people view women in the Bible? How have you and might we incorporate that into our parenting? 

5. If you were sitting at a table with your kids and you knew for sure they would take one message with them on their life’s journey, what poem of yours would you read them?

Get ready to sob your eyes out when you hear the answer to the last question. And also get ready to have your soul healed on the spot. If you want to feel understood and empowered as a woman or if you want to understand and empower women, this is the episode for you.

You can find Claire here:

Website: www.clairemckeeverburgett.com

Instagram: @clairemckeeverburgett

'''Diligent study is precisely what got us here." Jamin Coller

Our episode this week is with Jamin Coller, dad of six, podcaster and author of Dear Evangelicals.

Our conversation is passionate, funny and so very eye-opening.

We chat through these questions:

1.  Your book, Dear Evangelicals, frames deconstruction not as rebellion, but as a painful act of integrity after "stumbling upon information we didn't want." How can parents reframe their children's deconstruction as integrity, not betrayal? How can we help both deconstructionists and their former communities reframe this process as an act of integrity rather than betrayal — especially in the context of parenting?

2.  You write “We believed it when we were told all questions were welcomed.” What impact does it have on a child’s development when questions are only welcome until they cross an invisible line? And how can parents make space for the kind of questioning that once got them scorned?

3.  You state that the first wave of shame comes from the community, but the harder wave is internal — “the shame of having shelved obvious red flags for so long.” How do we process that internal shame, and what does it look like to parent from a place of healing rather than guilt?

4.  The book describes former church members instinctively seeking new spaces to preserve their faith, even after painful exits. What does this tell us about the human longing for spiritual belonging, and how do we model that search honestly for our kids?

5.  How did diligent study get you “here”? Also, for those of us who were once taught that information was dangerous, how do we now encourage our children to stay curious and think critically without fearing where it might lead?

6.  You have said that many of us try not to think — because we fear losing our salvation — and try not to speak — because we fear losing our friends. How did this play out for you personally and how do we raise children to value honesty and connection when so many of us were taught to protect belonging at the expense of our inner truth?

7.  If you could tell your kids one thing for their life journey, what would it be and why?

We found Jamin compassionate, wise and funny. If you are wondering how you got to this place of deconstructing your faith, this is the episode for you.

You can find Jamin here:

Website: jamincoller.com

Instagram:  @dear_evangelicals and @jamincoller

'''Our job as parents is not to make other people comfortable with how we raise our kids, Our job is to make sure our kids grow up in a family where they’re comfortable being exactly who they are.'' Shelly Robinson

Our episode this week is with Rachel Pinto-Martin, founder of Self Love, Healthy Boundaries Coaching, mom of two, former Mormon and fierce Queer ally and advocate.

On this episode, we talk with Rachel about what it means to have self-love along with healthy boundaries and help our kids to do the same. We also dive deep into advocacy on this front for the Queer community.

We chat through these questions:

1.  Many of us have grown up in high control religious environments that doesn’t allow for a lot of individuality. How can we begin to foster a sense of being worthy of love when our faith or upbringing told us otherwise?

2.  What does it look like to deconstruct faith in a way that allows space for self-love and acceptance, especially for those in the LGBTQ+ community?

3.  What are some practical ways parents can create an environment where their children feel safe in their own identity and accepted for who they are, especially if the parents are still deconstructing their own beliefs around sexuality and gender identity.

4. How can parents help their children navigate the complexities of faith and identity, especially if they are trying to reconcile their own religious background

5. What advice do you have for parents who are struggling to reconcile their faith with supporting their queer child?

6.  How might we respond to members of the faith community or our family who may hold traditional or conservative views about LGBTQ+ issues?

7. For families who feel isolated in their religious communities because of their child’s identity, what would you say to them?

We found Rachel passionate and our conversation was spicy in all the best ways. We were fired up about the harm done to the Queer community by high-control religion and spoke about the best ways we can continue to change the narrative surrounding full affirmation and inclusion.

You can find Rachel here:

Website: selflovehealthyboundaries.com

Instagram: @selflovehealthyboundaries and @thankyouforranting

"Where did we ever get the notion that in order for children to behave better, they first have to feel worse?" 

Our episode this week is with Wendy Snyder, founder of Fresh Start Family, mom of two teens, podcaster and certified positive (or as she likes to call it), powerful parenting coach.

On this episode, we talk with Wendy about what it means to be an empowered parent and how can we parent out of compassionate connection and NOT fear and force.

We chat through these questions:

1.  What is your overall philosophy on parenting? Are there any core principles you always encourage parents to follow?

2. How has your faith journey shaped the way that you encourage parents in their parenting journeys? Are their old beliefs around parenting that you have let go of or that have evolved? 

3. What is one of the things that parents come to you the most about? 

4. What are the most common challenges parents come to you with? How do you help parents balance discipline with love and understanding?

5. What are some effective techniques for managing challenging behaviors? How can parents address negative behaviors while maintaining a positive relationship with their child?

We found Wendy full of surprises, wisdom, vulnerability and real passion as she shares her own journey to leaving behind parenting with fear and force and leaning into empowered, compassionate connection. She is a fierce advocate for doing parenting in a way that heals our own souls while meeting the needs of our kids. It's a must-listen if you want practical help, hope and humor in them middle of the mayhem of parenting. THIS IS A GOOD ONE!!

You can find Wendy here:

Website: freshstartfamilyonline.com

Instagram: @freshstartwendy

Facebook: Fresh Start Family

"In the end, Jesus proved that forgiveness is more powerful than punches and kicks.  And in the end, love wins over hate." - Jared Neusch and Connor Shram in their book: Jesus vs. the Bad Guys

Our episode this week is with two dads, one a corn hole champion and Biblical scholar (Dr. Jared Neusch) and the other a comedian and change-maker (Connor Shram), both authors of a new book perfect for this time of year, Jesus Vs. the Bad Guys: a Story of Love and Forgiveness.

On this episode, we talk with Jared and Connor about reconsidering the Easter story in light of active peace-making and non-violence.

We chat through these questions:

1. How do we introduce children to the person of Jesus without reinforcing the fear-based, dualistic messages many of us were taught in high-control religious environments? (We are thinking of good guys vs bad guys here) Do you believe there are good guys and bad guys?

2. Why does it feel important to you that kids have a love of Scripture? What is it about Scripture that feels valuable to you?

3. Can the stories of Jesus’ arrest, conviction, and crucifixion be shared with young children in age-appropriate ways that honor both their emotional development and spiritual curiosity?

4. Your book emphasizes Jesus’ “weapons” of forgiveness, peacemaking, nonviolence, and love—how might these values challenge the cultural parenting norms we inherited from high-control religious systems?

Jared and Connor were gentle, wise, funny and so easy to talk with. We didn't want the conversation to end. If you have the desire to reconsider Easter this year and perhaps discover new ways to engage with your kids and this very complicated story, this podcast episode is for you.

You can find Jared here:

Instagram: @jaredneusch

You can find Connor here:

Instagram: @connorshram

You don’t have to the answers to why Jesus died to talk about Easter with your kids. (Sarah Swartzendruber)

Our episode this week is with our resident Children's Pastor, childhood development expert, mom to two and Bible scholar, Sarah Swartzendruber.

On this episode, we talk with Sarah about reimagining the Easter story by diving into atonement theories and practical ways we can talk about it with our littles, middles and bigs.

We chat through these questions:

1. What's your current take on the Easter story? What do you personally believe?

2. What are the seven main atonement theories (reasons people believe Jesus died)?

3. What do we do about Easter and our kids? How can we navigate the complicated adult themes that the Easter story holds?

4. Can you share with us specific age appropriate ways we might be able to study the Easter story with our kids?

5. Are there themes or ideas that you stay away from when you’re teaching the Easter story?

6. How do we create an environment where our kids feel safe to ask hard questions and also encourage them to honor differing beliefs? 

Sarah is brilliant and funny, always a welcome guest at our podcast table. If you are struggling with how to celebrate (or NOT) Easter this year and what the heck to do with your kids and the messy, complicated themes surrounding it, this podcast episode is for you.

You can find the Sarah in these spaces:

Instagram: @parentingafterdeconstruction

Website: www.parentingafterdeconstuction.com

The worst thing we ever did is pretend God isn’t the easiest thing in this Universe available to every soul in every breath. (Chelan Harkin)

Our episode this week is with Chelan Harkin, mama to two and mystical poet extraordinaire.

On this episode, we talk with Chelan about growing up in the Baha'i faith, the courage it takes to question what you've been told all your life, how our faith can align with our soul and especially how this all fleshes out in our parenting.

We chat through these questions:

1. Your poetry invites readers to redefine traditional concepts of God and spirituality. How has your personal journey with spirituality influenced this mission, and what impact do you hope it has on your audience?

2. You once embarked on a 30-day “bad poem” experiment to break free from perfectionism. Can you talk about how that creative challenge helped you dismantle the rigid expectations imposed by high-control systems, religious or otherwise?

3. You have a poem that calls children "life’s great revolutionaries," challenging us to overturn our ingrained habits and expectations. Can you share an experience where your child’s unfiltered perspective radically shifted the way you view success and the meaning of life?

4. Your words remind us that children invite us to let go of our obsession with perfectionism and to instead embrace the beautiful mess of each moment. How has your child’s spontaneous, raw energy helped you see the sacred in everyday imperfection?

5. Rejecting a God of fear in favor of one who delights in joy—symbolized by putting extra whipped cream on things—your poem reimagines divinity as a source of wonder and playfulness. In what ways has your relationship with your child reshaped your understanding of faith and inspired you to live more joyfully?

We found Chelan to be gentle, authentic, and very in tune with her soul. We laughed a lot, talked about ice cream, and also took a deep dive into some difficult questions.

You can find Chelan here:

Instagram: @chelanharkin

Facebook: Chelan Harkin