Church Scandals Aren’t Random: How Ignorance Paves the Way for More Harm A Funny, Painful Story (That’s Actually Very Relevant)
Before we dive into heavy stuff, let me tell you a story. 4 weeks and 2 days ago...
Picture this: I’m flat on my back, in the middle of the street, 20 feet away from a car that thankfully didn’t roll over me.
I’m convinced something’s stabbing into my heart. Pain is shooting through my body in so many places. A kind lady rushes from her porch to help me hobble to safety while the ambulance is called.
As I wait there's constant pain, but when I move in certain ways it suddenly becomes utterly excruciating.
No idea what I hit. No idea what actually happened.
Things were going great for the two hours I was on my OneWheel before the accident.
What the heck happened? And what is happening now?
Some neighbor kids stop and check in. I ask them to pray for me and I lead them in a prayer in Jesus name... that was a comfort from strangers.
The ambulance finally arrives -- after it seems like forever -- and load me onto a stretcher. They were sure I dislocated my shoulder and were insisting to pull me up. I knew that wasn't what was wrong.
I was embarrassingly vocal about not being helped up. I seemed to feel every single pothole on the way to hospital.
Arriving in the hospital... the random excruciating shoots through my chest continued -- oh, and so did my resulting involuntary screams. (No recordings were taken, thank God :)
So, the morphine helped and the oxy-whatever they gave me next.
But what really changed everything was the x-rays.
They finally discover the truth:
My clavicle was snapped clean through.
Knowing what was actually wrong changed everything.
I finally had clarity. I finally had a path toward healing — real healing — not just numbing the pain.
I finally could understand how to move in a way that avoided the excruciating pain and actually kept things in place to heal most effectively.
THIS is what’s happening in the Church right now.
We have an injury. It's bad. Really, really, really bad.
But instead of diagnosing it, we often just take some spiritual "morphine" — slap on platitudes, excuses, or cover-ups — and hope healing happens.
It doesn't.
Tragically, thousands of new cases are reported yearly... in the church of Jesus Christ around the world. This is horrifying.
And the Church's sexual scandals are not random.
They are not "one-off" tragedies.They are the result of deep, hidden roots — an injury we have to address if we want healing.
Church Hurt: Ignoring the Pain Doesn’t Heal It
If I had ignored my broken clavicle, kept "powering through," or simply taken painkillers to numb it?
It would have actually healed wrong.Permanently damaged.Maybe even required major surgery to fix later.
The Church is at that critical moment.If we don't stop and x-ray the damage — truly diagnose the underlying break — it won't just stay bad. It will get worse.
That’s why these scandals feel endless. They are symptoms of deeper problems never addressed.
Church Scandals Are Not Random Accidents
The fall of a pastor or leader is often treated like a shocking, isolated event.
"He must have just slipped up!""It was a moment of weakness!"
But the truth is, these scandals follow patterns.
Unchecked small compromises.Isolation.A culture that produces an environment where pastors must be superhuman.
Double lives hidden by fear and shame.Lack of sexual stewardship.
These are not random falls.These are predictable results of invisible fractures left untreated.
The Enemy Wants Our Ignorance
Satan thrives when we stay ignorant.
When we don’t know the roots, we can't heal them.When we don't expose the darkness, it festers and infects the Body of Christ.
Paul makes it clear we shouldn't be ignorant of how the enemy attacks:
"In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." (2 Cor 2:11)
Jesus warns us:
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy." (John 10:10)
When sexual sin in leadership is ignored, minimized, or hidden, it does exactly that:Steals faith.Kills trust.Destroys credibility.
We must be wise.We must stop assuming "it could never happen here."We must learn how to recognize the roots before they bloom into ruin.
Why Sexual Sin Wounds So Deeply & How to Heal
Sexual sin isn’t "just another mistake."Biblically, it’s in a category of its own:
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18)
When a leader sins sexually, it's a double wound:
- Personal: They defile their own body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.
- Corporate: They shatter the credibility of the Gospel they once preached.
People who were already fragile in their faith see hypocrisy... and walk away not just from a leader, but from Jesus, Himself.
The wound runs deep.
But Jesus takes it seriously.
Jesus didn’t say:
"Try not to look at porn if you can."
"Lust is understandable, just don't act on it."
No.
He said:
"If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out... It’s better to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:29)
Jesus used extreme language because sexual sin matters that much.
We should not downplay what Jesus took so seriously.
When leaders indulge in pornography, prostitution, or affairs, they are objectifying someone God created.
That woman on a screen is a daughter of the King of Kings. A daughter who He even gave His only son to save.
Cover-Ups Are Spiritual Oxycodone
It’s easier to slap a spiritual Band-Aid over a scandal than face the ugly truth.
- "Let’s quietly remove him."
- "Let’s not make a big deal; it might hurt the church’s reputation."
- "Let’s just forgive and move on."
That’s spiritual oxycodone — numbing the pain without healing the break.
Without truth and exposure, the infection worsens.The pattern repeats.More people get hurt.
Real love doesn’t ignore cancer.Real love demands we discover it and deal with it.
That's actual love.
And Exposure Alone Isn’t Enough
Here's the other mistake:Thinking that "going public" fixes the problem.
It doesn’t.
Exposure without a healing plan leaves broken people bleeding in the streets.
Just like my broken clavicle needed realignment, time, careful handling and care — fallen leaders (and hurting congregations) need intentional healing journeys.
Healing isn’t automatic. It’s hard. It takes time. It takes wisdom. It takes safe people. But it’s possible.
Healing the Church Starts with Us
You may be a small group leader.A volunteer.A pastor’s wife.A youth mentor.A faithful Sunday worshiper.
You are part of the Body.And when one part is sick, the whole body suffers.
We cannot afford to shrug and say, "Not my problem."
The future witness of the Church depends on believers who are awake, wise, and willing to act.
The Band-Aid Problem
Let me just say it plainly:
Covering up a church scandal with "just pray for him" or "let’s not talk about it" is like slapping a Batman-themed Band-Aid on a bullet wound and sending the guy back into battle.
He's going to bleed out.
And so is the faith of everyone watching.
We need real surgery, not stickers.
What Next? What Pastors and Leaders Need
If you’ve been wounded by a scandal —If you’re grieved by the hypocrisy —If you’re tired of seeing Jesus’ name dragged through the mud —
You are not alone.
Healing is possible. But it starts with exposing the real problem and walking through the hard, beautiful journey of restoration.
Lord, help us. Heal Your Church. Give us courage to see clearly and love deeply.
Be Part of the Solution: Discover through a Free Training
Join me for a free training:Heal the Church: Exposing the Hidden Roots of Sexual Scandal and the Path to Healing
Let's stop putting Band-Aids on bullet holes.Let’s start real healing.
Sign up today: delightym.com/healthechurch
Healing starts with discovery.
Healing starts with understanding.Healing starts with you.
With love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you are ready to make a change in your marriage, to be free from sexual sin, to have accountability and community, we encourage you to make the call. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightym.com/cc
PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "My self worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough. I questioned my leadership positions at work and at church, just never feeling like I was the right guy to lead... [Now,] I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God. In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit. The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God."
