High level narcissists are gifted at their false self roles: calming, warm, gracious, generous, kind. My book Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life explains the workings of the narcissist's false self persona:

"If the earth trembles in the presence of the narcissist, this isn't because of his authenticity or force of character. Rather, these are the stirrings of the grandiose false self. Like the gian in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, the rumblings of the narcissist can be heard throughout the kingdom. ..The origins of the false self begin with a mother or father who is unable to recognize and accept her child's individuality...The false self of the narcissist grows insidiously. As a result, he/she is incapable of expressing genuine emotions, particularly those that demonstrate the slightest hint of warmth or vulnerability...A high-level narcissist is a supreme actor who fakes emotions brilliantly. He fools most people. Each move is carefully studied and choreographed to elicit positive reactions from others."

After many years of being married to or partnered with a high level narcissist you are exhausted. You may have insomnia, anxiety.

There is a time of awakening when you recognized that you must separate from the high level narcissist and move forward as a unique individual. I give you so much credit for these decisions of independence and the pursuit of your unique individuality.

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