Justin is answering two listener questions in this episode.

Christina from the United States is wondering how she can get a less than cooperative teenager to put away the screens and get to bed, even though she has already compromised on them staying up later than she would like.

Kate is wondering why her five year old's behaviour is so different between school and home.  How can a 'model student' melt down over simple requests like being asked to take her plate to the kitchen after dinner?

In this episode:

• Screen limits and teenagers
• Sleep
• #1003 When the 3 E’s Don’t Work
• Force creates resistance
• Jocelyn Brewer - The 3 M's of Digital Nutrition
• Differences in school and home environment
• Kids feel safe at home
• Masking at school
• Allow time to decompress after school
• #866 Creating Margin

Related Links:

• Tweens, Teens & Screens [Webinar]
• Screens And Our Boys
• 5 Ways to Make Family Life More Fun
• Developmental Milestones [Part 4: Middle Childhood]

Get your questions to Justin by hitting the record button on the Happy Families website.

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Does "risky play" make you excited or very nervous? The research is clear regarding the many benefits to children who engage in risky play. With it becoming increasingly hard to find public spaces that allow for risky play, we share ideas and tips for how parents can encourage and support their children to engage in risky play at home.

In this episode:

• Old-school playgrounds
• What is risky play?
• Healthy childhood development through outdoor risky play: Navigating the balance with injury prevention | Canadian Paediatric Society
• How to encourage risky play at home
• "You want your kids to be as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible” 
• The importance of agency and autonomy in play
• Roald Dahl quote on kids and risks
• Physical development
• Emotional resilience
• Social skills and mental health
• Solving problems
• Risk assessment

Relevant Links:

• Playing It Safe May Be The Biggest Risk Of All
• Resilience: Developing strength, calm and kindness in our kids [Webinar]
• #50 Risks and Rolling Down Hills

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Saying goodbye to loved ones has been the cause for much reflection for Justin, including the acknowledgment that owning our own mortality allows us to invest more fully in life.

Kylie describes a recent family meeting, and how the buy in that comes when everybody takes accountability for the part they play in how a family feels and functions can be life-changing.

In this episode:

• Losing loved ones
• Treasure every moment of life
• Terror Management Theory
• Don't count the days; allow the days to count!
• Family meetings
• Accountability
• How to get buy-in from the kids
• Exercise and routine

Relevant Links:

• How To Talk To Your Children About Death
• #1045 – The Art & Science of Family Meetings

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From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families.

First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2 week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses.

In this episode:

• Peanut allergies
• The danger of becoming risk-adverse
• Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open
• A happier child in 2 weeks?
• Emotional dysregulation
• Parental responsibility with screens
• Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence
• Why touch matters
• Sensory issues, autism
• Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch
• Consent
• Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online Library

Relevant Links:

• Tech giants are ANTI-kids
• Unplug Childhood - join the village today
• #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad

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A conversation with Adam Voigt, Founder and CEO of Real Schools on the importance of student engagement, how parents can support and advocate for teachers, and why we need to make schools a diverse environment - where all children can come together to learn. 

In this episode:

• Teacher stress
• Additional needs
• Supporting teachers
• Schools and parents working together
• Student engagement
• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books
• Too much tech in the classroom?
• Mobile phone bans
• Does going to a selective school make you more likely to go to uni, get a job and be satisfied in life? | The Conversation
• Selective schools
• Importance of diversity
• Parental guilt

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Amy from Melbourne has been trying to boost her families wellbeing, and while she's been doing all of the tried and traditional methods, she is wondering what the benefits of indoor plants are for her family.

Jenny from West Australia is seeking some advice around grandparents looking after her three year old, despite some of their parenting styles being quite different to hers.

Related links: 

• Check out our recent From the Doctor's Desk episode - #1036 Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good
• What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree [Article]

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If you have a child with a natural talent or a burning desire to succeed in a sport or other activity, how do you cultivate a successful (perhaps even elite) level of performance and raise them to have perspective? Justin and Kylie offer four ideas to help your children be engaged in their athletic and competitive pursuits in healthy, balanced ways. 

In this episode:

• US Gymnast Alexandra Raismen - parent reaction
• Finding a healthy balance
• Professionalization of youth sports can lead to burnout | AAP Publications
• What is the purpose of sport?
• Physical, cognitive, social, emotional benefits
• Competence and mastery
• #1033 – Early Talent Promotion
• Motivation and losing perspective
• Unconditional love

Related links: 

• How To Keep Kids Motivated To Play Sport

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There are times when a parent's relationship with their child feels strained and difficult. Kylie shares what it can look like to cultivate these challenging relationships, giving hope to any parent deep in the trenches of raising hard kids.

More often than not, when we lose the plot as adults, it is because of unmet expectations. A games night in the Coulson household did NOT meet Justin's expectations, leading to one very grumpy dad!

In this episode:

• I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise - Maurine Reynolds Adamek
• 5 star reviews - thank you!
• Cultivating relationships
• No Matter What
• Hope for the parent who thinks they can't keep going
• Resilience
• Family games night turns sour
• Expectations vs reality
• Unmet needs
• Bedtime
• Even the parenting expert gets parenting wrong
• Be where your feet are

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Book Club - the episode where Justin and Kylie forget about the parenting stuff and share what they have been reading. Today, a book review from a very special guest: their 10-year-old daughter Emilie.

In this episode:

• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books (4.5 stars)
• Unplug Childhood - Join the village!
• The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien | Abbeys (5 stars)
• James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl | Dymocks (4.7 stars)

Related links: 

• #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt
• The Screens Issue
• Unplugging Parenthood

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Building strong, lasting family relationships is a long-term process. When done well, regular family meetings can completely change how your family feels and functions now and in the future

Justin and Kylie share six practical tips for family meetings that will help your family relationships flourish, ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and valued along the way. 

In this episode:

• Could family meetings help you get on better with your kids? Yes – but they can also go horribly wrong | The Conversation
• James Clear, author of Atomic Habits 5 year quote
• Not a time to air grievances or critique others
• Risk of family meetings
• Creating a vision
• Benefits when meeting is done well
• Frustration tolerance
• Learning social skills and emotional regulation
• Getting on the same page

Related links: 

• Family Goal Setting

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