Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

A midlife crisis happens when we stop feeling excited about life.

But it's really just a calling – A calling to change or do something different. 

It's the start of what Joseph Campbell calls your "Hero's Journey." 

When you answer the calling and embark on the adventure to make a change, you start to feel more alive. 

You'll hit challenges, discomfort, probably over some some fear, but you'll return with a new set of skills, wisdom, and attributes you can take to you family and your community. 

Some common callings men experience during mid-life are to:
- get healthier
- stop being a jerk
- do more of what you love
- be more present
- or something else entirely. Only you know what's been nagging at you.

Midlife crisis or not, today's episode will lead you to answer a few questions to decide what lights you up so you can start doing more of that. 

When we're excited about life, we bring more positive energy to everyone around us. 

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

If you feel isolated, you’re not the only one. 

We don’t make friends as easily as we did in high school and college. 

Yet, having guys at your back – guys you can count on – is something every man can use in his life. 

To talk about real stuff – below the surface conversations. 

To check in when things are rough. 

All men need that. 

Today’s episode talks about the benefits of fellowship vs friendship, and how to go about creating both in your life. 

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Learning to say you’re sorry is one of the best tools you can have in your tool belt.

Because we all screw up. Especially with our kids.

If we learn how to apologize, not only do we build trust and respect with our kids, but we model what it means to own up to our mistakes. 

Today, I’m going to cover five rules that’ll help you apologize effectively:

1: It’s never too late.

2: Don’t do it while you’re still heated.

3: Don’t blame your kid

4: Don’t apologize for your anger. Apologize for your actions.

5: Drop your expectations.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Our calendars reflect our priorities.

So take a look at your calendar – Is it full of appointments that matter?

For most guys, what matters more than anything is your relationship with your wife and kids. Quality time with your family.

But if you're like most guys, that time is tough to squeeze in on a regular basis.

We let soccer games, work meetings, and our phones get in the way. 

This podcast is a reminder of what matters most.

Your kids are only this age once. Tune in for motivation to make a shift so you don't look back at this year and wonder what you did with it.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Why do some of us avoid conflict? Especially with our wife?

The main reason is because we look at conflict as a competition. 

We wanna be right.

And if we’re not going to be right, then we avoid the conversation altogether. 

This doesn’t strengthen the relationship. 

Today's episode will teach you 4 ways to communicate better with your spouse and CONNECT when there’s a disagreement:

1. Don’t look at it as a competition. No one “wins” or “loses.”
2. Don’t take it personally. It’s not about your competence or level of smartness. It’s about getting on the same page.
3. Communicate your thoughts. You have an opinion. Share it… respectfully. 
4. Agree to create safety. This means respect and sticking around for the conversation.

It might feel like a stretch, but conflict will actually bring the two of you closer.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

"Life was easier without my wife and kids."

This thought might bubble up, especially when your to-do list is overwhelming and work pressure is high.

It's an urge to go back to simpler times with less responsibilities and less people to take care of. 

It's not a thought men are proud of. Not something they talk about.

Yet, talking about it and giving it some airtime is usually the most helpful way to navigate it.

The more we shove it down, the louder it tends to get. Then it's running in our subconscious mind and dictating our actions. 

We're easily annoyed and build up resentment toward situations or people at home. 

In today's episode, we lean on Dr. Richard Schwartz's "parts" work to help understand why the thought is there, and how to quiet it down so we can be a solid dad and husband.  

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Money can't buy happiness. We know, we know, we know. 

YET, our brains (and social media) talk us out of this wisdom daily. Hourly. 

Today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast will take you closer to that freedom of needing less. 

It's not about making less money. It's NEEDING less that feels good.

A lot of men create their own pressure just by wanting more.

Tune in to loosen the grip finances have on you so you can earn your money from a place of freedom and gratitude rather than pressure.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Imposter syndrome feels like shit.

Fear. Pressure. That feeling like everyone’s gonna realize you don’t deserve to be where you’re at. 

It’s not a helpful place to be. 

BUT, it’s also not a bad place to be.

It means you’re challenging yourself. 

Imposter syndrome is a good sign that you’re evolving, but we don’t want to stay there.

We wanna smile at it, and move past it. 

I give you a few steps on how to do that in today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast. 

So if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, give yourself a pat on the back for doing something hard, and listen to this ep so you can move past it and do your best work.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

The opposite of emotional agility is emotional rigidity – When we stiffen up against an emotion, causing it (and us) to get stuck. 

Think: procrastination, over-thinking or a bad mood.

Emotional agility allows a man to experience something bad and bounce back to a productive state two minutes later. 

But before we can get there, we need to know what’s going on below our head. 

Most guys are great at thinking. Not as strong at feeling. 

Feeling is a skill, and I guide you through it in a new way in today's episode. 

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

What do you do when your wife is clearly overreacting?

When she’s being illogical or “crazy.”

It’s easy to throw up our hands and walk away. Or just get pissed.

But the truth is, that makes the situation worse. 

Your wife is having a hard time in those moments.

She might not communicate it in the most adult-like way, but she can use some support.

It’s an opportunity to get closer and strengthen the relationship.

So we want to be the calm, supportive emotional adult in those moments.

We want to shift our perspective from, “she’s acting crazy” to “she can use my help right now.” 

Today’s episode of the Durable Dad podcast teaches you what to do, and what not to do so you can access that mindset shift.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap