Heather Chauvin was dying to be a good mother.

Her determination to get it *just right* was fueled by a sense of failure - and societal norms that define "good moms" as self-sacrificing. .

18 years old and single when her first child was born, Heather launched herself into parenting with gusto. She was determined to prove to herself (and others) that she was not a failure. Plus, mothering gave her a sense of purpose. Until it almost killed her.

The run-down feeling she had wasn't simply due to parenting exhaustion; it was cancer. The budding entrepreneur and mom of three young boys realized she had to refocus her priorities. It was literally a matter of life and death.

"I had to face everything," Heather says. "I felt like I was backed into a corner and there was nowhere to run. Then I realized: I have to run towards my fear, towards my guilt, towards my shame -- everything I'd been saying I didn't have time to look at,."

Heather learned she had a lot more power and magic than she was giving herself credit for. She learned to take care of herself - and that everything else was easier when she respected herself and her needs. She began asking herself, "how do you want to feel?" and taking action toward her desired emotions.

Now, she tells other moms how they can do the same.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Heather discuss:

Societal expectations of "good mothers"

How following "good mother" scripts can harm us

Why the easy way is often the best way

Prioritizing  your needs and passions

Giving yourself permission to feel

Energetic time management

Learning from our kids

Screentime management strategies

How to not yell

Emotional regulation

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Mom is in Control with Heather Chauvin -- ON BOYS episode

heatherchauvin.com –– Heather’s online home

Mom is in Control — Heather’s podcast

dyingtobeagoodmother.com -- website mentioned at 43:25; go here for Heather's FREE 20-page workbook

Sponsor Spotlight: 

Dr. Mary’s “Overcoming Childhood Anxiety” course — SPECIAL OFFER available to ON BOYS listeners

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