THAT Conversation with Tarek Ali Ellis

E09: Hidden Depression — The Signs We Ignore, Acting Out of Character, & Craving Validation


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Depression and anxiety are much more than just feelings of sadness. They are changes in behavior that make you act out of character and turn to others for the validation you should be giving to yourself. In this episode, Tarek reveals the therapist-approved method he uses to nurture himself back to health when he was close to burnout. Including tools and methods he came up with to use when feeling triggered by unmet childhood needs. Because we are human. We get depressed. But it is the process of climbing out and loving ourselves that helps us suffer less and grow more.


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Tarek Reveals:


  • After Fashion Week, Tarek realized he was getting close to burnout.
  • Meditating with the Daily Calm app and journaling relieved some of Tarek’s anxiety but he realized he was going through depression.
  • Tarek acted out of character so he knew he needed to better understand his behavior.
  • Dating apps feel like a necessary evil to Tarek but they also provide him with validation.
  • In NY, people didn’t see Tarek for who he wanted to be seen as.
  • 12-year-old Tarek is still crying about his unmet childhood needs. 
  •  Tarek’s family felt love through eating soul food together. When he wants to feel comfort, he eats.
  • Self-care is a way Tarek validates himself but not caring for himself is an outward expression of his internal depression.
  • Identifying your needs helps you embrace better methods.
  • Tarek shares the method he uses to remind himself of when he wants to validate himself.
  • Care enough about yourself to put in the work. It is worth it!


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THAT Conversation with Tarek Ali EllisBy Tarek Ali Ellis

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