The Art Of Coaching

E362 | MOST SHARED E299: How to Quit Being a People Pleaser


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This week, we’re revisiting one of our most popular episodes, and a topic people continue to ask us about. 

People pleasing. We’ve all seen it before (whether we recognized it or not) - constantly being agreeable, always saying yes, never setting any boundaries - all to the point of self-destruction.  If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it’s likely you’ve witnessed someone else demonstrate these behaviors. 

And although it may have short-term benefits, we know that these self-destructive tendencies are not sustainable, and can lead to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion and burnout.

If this is something you think you might struggle with, or if you know someone who does, today’s episode provides a wide variety of perspectives on what “people pleasing” can look like in the day to day world, a number of root causes, and a handful of different solutions you can use to help you manage these behaviors.

More specifically, Brett dives into: 

  • Quotes that hit - some of the most impactful sound bites I’ve heard on the topic
  • What drives you?  How our drives can lead us into unhealthy people pleasing behaviors
  • The downside to many of the mainstream self-help resources that address the topic
  • The necessary self-reflection that has to take place before we can make long-lasting behavioral changes
  • Host your own AOC Inservice - Tackle leadership challenges with tailored workshops trusted by Apple, NFL teams, and Canadian Special Forces. Gain actionable tools for managing emotions, de-escalating tension, and rebuilding culture. Email us at [email protected] to learn more, and visit artofcoaching.com to see how we can help.

    AOC Private Mentoring Retreat - Join us in Phoenix for a two-day retreat focused on resetting and crushing your goals. With custom coaching, private suites, and access to exclusive facilities, this experience is built for you. Email [email protected] to secure your spot!

    Improv Only Workshop - Boost problem-solving, creativity, and teamwork through fun, interactive improv games. Trusted by Google and pro sports teams, this workshop delivers skills that stick. Email [email protected] with "Improv Only Workshop" in the subject line.

    Referenced Resources:

    E210: Assertiveness: How To Ask For What You Want & Get What You Need

    E207: How Perception Impacts Communication & Relationships

    E208: Robert Greene: Mastering Human Nature and Facing Your Flaws

    E200: What To Do When Trying To Help Makes Stuff Worse

    E176: When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

    E22: The Value of Self-Doubt

    E130: How Understanding Drives Helps Build Buy-In

    Quiz: What Drives You?

    Online Course: Valued - mentioned in today’s episode regarding opportunity cost, this life-time access course help you to identify your values and take control of your career

    Follow Us:

    Website: ArtofCoaching.com

    Instagram: @coach_brettb

    X: @coach_brettb

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    The Art Of CoachingBy Brett Bartholomew

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