The Art Of Coaching

E382 | Why "How Can I Help?" Isn't Always Helpful and What to Do Instead


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“Is there anything I can do to help?”

It’s interesting and unique how we’ve all been asked this question by a spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss—but it never feels like that question leads to you getting actual help. It often feels like answering that question will cause you even more issues. 

But, people are asking it with good intentions, so how can we actually seize this moment and get some relief from the overload?

We’re always told as leaders that we need to delegate, delegate, delegate—so how can we respond to this request without adding to our overwhelm?

In today’s episode, Brett is going to give us all the answers—and much more—to this age-old question we all somewhat cringe when we hear.

Lean in as he covers:

  • The psychology and first principles behind why we often decline help—even when we need it
  • Cognitive overwhelm—how to reduce it, cut through the fog, and get the help you need
  • Practical strategies to truly show up for someone and show you care
  • Default requests you can use to get quick results based on their competence and ability
  • How to respond with honesty that eases the emotional friction you might feel
  • Iron Sharpens Iron

    You say you want to be the best—then stop avoiding the conversations that actually test you.

    This isn’t another feel-good workshop or conference where you can sit back, take notes, and disappear into the crowd.

    The Apprenticeship is fully interactive. We throw you into live, role-play scenarios and teach you how to navigate real conflict, difficult personalities, and power dynamics with clarity and control. No fluff. No theory overload. Just gritty, practical reps that expose your blind spots and sharpen your communication under pressure.

    Everyone could use some help—and if you're part of the audience we focused on in last week's episode, you'll even earn 1.6 CEUs!  Come see us in:


    📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
    📍Melbourne, AUS – August 23-24
    📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

    (Im)Perfect Relationship Course

    One of our most popular offerings, for the married, divorced, dating, or anyone who wants to show up better in the relationships that matter most.

    We cover real stuff: communication strategies, attraction styles, love languages, parenting, money—and yes, even the topics usually left behind closed doors. Nothing’s off-limits.

    🗓️ November 3 – December 2

    This is a 30-day, 100% online challenge with live Zoom sessions each week.

    *Bonus: It’s also our most affordable course—so if you’ve been looking for a low-pressure, high-value way to go deeper with our material (whether you’re partnered up or preparing for “the one”), this is your chance.

    Join the waitlist now!

    Follow Us:

    Website: ArtofCoaching.com

    Instagram: @coach_brettb

    X: @coach_brettb

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    The Art Of CoachingBy Brett Bartholomew

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