When you’re a health geek like myself, getting knocked over by a nasty flu virus for 10 days can really tip you over.
I don’t just mean with fevers and flu symptoms, I mean mentally.
Priding myself on not getting sick while everyone at work and home succumbed to winter bugs, I mistakenly believed I was bullet proof. But pride comes before a fall and fall I did - hard.
I’m not sure how many times I deliriously contacted my doctor asking for cat scans and intensive testing as to what it must be that I was dying of, but she kept patiently reassuring me to wait it out, to accept I had the flu.
Not possible, I thought, looking accusingly at my many health supplements and lypospheric Vitamin C sachets.
But during my convalescence I read Dr Libby Weaver’s new book, ‘The Invisible Load – a guide to overcoming stress and overwhelm’. She reckons the stress we carry today is often an ‘invisible load’, the bits no one sees which drive our physical and emotional load. Stuff like expectations, the drive to be a good person, managing ourselves, our families, our jobs and even our social media profiles well, clearing our inboxes, responding to all the people who require things of us.
She talked about stress hacks like turning off notifications – fewer ‘pings’ in your life demanding your attention, more nature, less junk, more whole food, less screentime, more belly breathing. But she also addressed the generational differences in what stresses us out.
Dr Libby says when she asks women in their 20s what stresses them out, it’s their Instagram and their body, whereas women in their 40s are more likely to stress about an overflowing inbox or to-do list.
Both, she says, are the same thing: perceived failure. Worrying about how others see us.
What I think is heartening though is that the next generation is getting better at recognising all this.
A recent NZ Herald editorial titled ‘Generation Anxious reaches out for help,’ talked about how this generation is ‘set apart by its willingness to seek help’.
It cites a recent report which says: ‘One young adult in every five has sought mental health treatment in the past year.’
So surely that gives us hope that when it comes to the invisible load, and stress, younger people are getting better at sticking their hands up sooner.
It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re any less likely to get the flu, but it does mean they’re more willing to accept they’re not bullet proof. Which hopefully means they make smart changes for their bodies and minds, accordingly.

Perhaps he was just trying to be helpful, given UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson isn't long in the job.
But the world's media were left speechless by a question put to them by US President Donald Trump at the G-7 summit in the French resort town of Biarritz.
"Do you know who this is?" Trump asked as he gestured towards Johnson during a photo opportunity before the two entered a private meeting.
"Does everybody know?"
All eyes are on the two leaders, who are expected to face intense pressure from G-7 attendees over Britain's plan for a Brexit deal and America's ongoing trade war with China.
Despite Trump's bizarre introduction of his British counterpart, he offered a ringing endorsement of Johnson, saying he's "the right man" to get Brexit done.
"He needs no advice. He is the right man for the job."
The two met on Sunday over breakfast to discuss a comprehensive trade agreement between Britain and the US.
In a joint statement released shortly after, the two said they would create a working group on trade issues.
That news comes amid reports that Johnson plans to tell European Union leaders the UK will leave without paying a £30 billion ($58 billion) Brexit "divorce bill" if they don't agree to changes.
Earlier, Trump suffered a rebuke before he even landed in Biarritz courtesy of European Council president Donald Tusk, who abruptly shot down his controversial push to readmit Russia to the exclusive Group of 7.
"Under no condition can we agree with this logic," Tusk said.
Russia was kicked out of what was then the G8 in 2014 after its annexation of Crimea from Ukraine.
"When Russia was invited to the G-7 for the first time, it was believed that it would pursue the path of liberal democracy, rule of law, and human rights," Tusk said.
"Is there anyone among us who can say with full conviction, not out of business calculation, that Russia is on that path?"
He said he would ask the G-7 to consider inviting Ukraine to next year's summit instead.
Trump floated the idea of restoring Russia's membership before last year's summit as well, and received a similarly hostile response.
He doubled down during a gaggle with reporters in the Oval Office on Tuesday.
"I think it's much more appropriate to have Russia in," Trump said.
"I could certainly see it being the G-8 again."
Trump's first bilateral meeting in Biarritz was with French President Emmanuel Macron, the host of this year's summit.
The pair spent four minutes in front of the cameras, sitting at a dining table — exactly the kind of awkward, cringe-worthy setting you expect at these events.
Macron sucked up three of those minutes talking about a range of policy issues including climate change, trade, North Korea and Iran.
In response, Trump highlighted his relationship with the French leader and complimented the weather.
"We actually have a lot in common, Emmanuel. We've been friends for a long time. Every once in a while we go at it a little bit, not very much, but we get along very well. We have a very good relationship," Trump said.
"We have some really great things to talk about. And we couldn't ask for better weather or a more beautiful location. But next year we'll be hosting in the United States so that'll be great. Very good. That'll be great. We'll do a good job.
"But so far so good. The weather is perfect, the guests are fantastic, everybody's getting along. We'll accomplish a lot this weekend."
The US President copped some criticism from the talking heads back home.
"When you saw the lunch, Macron laid out his agenda and Trump is talking about the weather," Princeton University Professor Eddie Glaude told MSNBC.
"He's completely out of his depth."
As host, Macron has officially decided the summit will focus on inequality, though more contentious issues like trade and climate change have already been broached.
Johnson,...

Thousands of couples are struggling to prove their love is real, as immigration puts its foot down.
In the past year nearly eight hundred visa partnership applications were declined for failing to prove they were 'genuine and stable'.
Immigration lawyer Aaron Martin told Andrew Dickens the documentation criteria and proof of joint accounts is outdated.
He says it's particularly hard for couples trying to establish their lives here, because some banks won't allow a joint bank account to be set up if one partner is on a visitor visa.
"The criteria for proving a relationship is too old-fashioned. It is very difficult to provide mail sent to joint names, because more companies are using email."
LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW ABOVE

France joined Germany on Thursday in challenging British Prime Minister Boris Johnson to show he can come up with a better alternative to the main sticking point in the stalled Brexit negotiations, giving him a month to prove he can break the deadlock on the Irish border question.
Johnson tried to exude confidence and charm in Paris as he pressed French President Emmanuel Macron to accept his request to reopen Brexit negotiations. He called Macron by his first name, spoke at times in French, even casually put his foot on Macron's coffee table in a bid to appear relaxed.
But like German leader Angela Merkel the day before, Macron just smiled indulgently and dampened British expectations, stressing "we have to respect what was negotiated."
"In the coming month, we won't find a new deal that would be far away from what we have," Macron said.
Macron also reiterated what the EU has been saying for months — that it won't re-open the Brexit divorce deal negotiated with Britain's previous prime minister, Theresa May.
The sticking point remains the question of Ireland and its border with Northern Ireland, which is part of the U.K. Border checkpoints there were a flashpoint for sectarian violence in the past and some fear their reintroduction could damage the hard-won peace in Northern Ireland.
The Brexit deal includes an insurance policy known as the Irish backstop, which but would keep the U.K. closely aligned in trade with the EU. Johnson is strongly against having any checkpoints on that border and does not want Northern Ireland to be treated differently than the rest of the UK.
Macron described the backstop as indispensable, but cracked a window in saying that if Ireland could be safeguarded, some movement would be possible, joining Merkel in raising the possibility that a negotiated departure from the EU may still be possible if Britain comes up with alternative plans that would safeguard the Irish border.
Merkel even went a bit further Thursday, suggesting that the idea of a 30-day deadline was a guideline. She told reporters during a visit to the Netherlands that "it would be better to say one can achieve that by Oct. 31."
Macron said he agreed with Merkel that "something clever" could be found within that period. Both also stressed that it wasn't just up to them: the negotiations led by the European Commission have to be accepted by all 27 EU member states.
It was clear that such concessions did not reach to substantially changing the hard-won Brexit deal. But it was also clear that everyone involved would prefer some sort of Brexit deal rather than the likely economic distress that a no-deal exit will bring.
"The no-deal will never be the choice of the EU," EU Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier told The Associated Press on Thursday. "Never."
In Brussels, senior EU officials said the bloc wants to hear details of any alternative backstop plan that Johnson might have and hoped that they won't have to wait 30 days for that.
Johnson is seeking concessions from the EU to win support in the British Parliament, which has already rejected the Brexit agreement negotiated by May three times. Johnson became prime minister last month when May stepped down after failing to secure parliamentary approval for the Brexit divorce deal.
The EU has twice delayed Britain's departure date, which is now scheduled for Oct. 31. Johnson says Britain will leave the EU on that date, with or without an agreement, raising concerns about the economic fallout on both sides of the English Channel. Other EU nations make up Britain's largest trading partner.

This week the Herald released a supplement about Infrastructure edited by Fran O’sullivan. They do it every year. It’s a great read. Lot’s of smart people talking about big plans.
Micheal Barnett writes about the incredible opportunities in the Waikato-Government urban growth partnership and how it will help ease Auckland's pressure. Like Sleepyhead building a factory and town in Ohinewai to give workers cheaper housing. It's genius.
There's a great bit about Auckland Airports $4 billion redevelopment which is the biggest infrastructure project since the railways and it's all being done without tax or rate payers money and the logistics are immense and impressive.
Fletchers CEO Peter Reidy writes about the Construction Sector Accord. This a group of 20 of the biggest players from both the public and private sector charged with sorting out the mess the construction industry got itself in. The accord was announced in April and many said it would just be a talkfest. But Mr Reidy points out it's successes.
As I said. Smart people. Visions. Long term plans.
Then there’s the politicians. There are four pieces by pollies.
Labour’s Phil Twyford talks about the proposed suburbs at Unitec and elsewhere.  He bangs on about high speed trains to Hamilton, which is a lovely idea but pie in the sky financially, says nothing about trams and says all National wants to build is roads.
National’s Paul Goldsmith talks about roads. So maybe Twyford was right. But then he also lays claim to Auckland's Central Rail Link which his party fought against for years.
Then there’s the Auckland mayoral candidates. Phil Goff still talks about light rail being the answer and let’s clean the beaches.
But John Tamihere goes full bore crazy with his double decker harbour bridge, selling the water, moving the port, banning beggars and going down to Wellington and banging some heads and central government will pay for it all. This guy will say anything if he thinks it will get him a vote.
The guys in the private sector have concrete plans, long term visions, budgets and completion dates.
The politicians seem to come up with back of the envelope reckons,  politicising stuff. Reducing complex projects to slogans. Pretending their party are the only people in New Zealand who know what to do. Frankly if a bridge is needed a bridge is needed no matter what your politics are.
So the supplement also has the news that the new Infrastructure Commission will be chaired by former Reserve Bank Governor Alan Bollard and it’s board and CEO look very good.
Please, please, please let them get politicians out of the Infrastructure debate and let the grown ups get things done.

There could be a solution for café owners unhappy with negative reviews.
It comes after the case of a Napier woman who was barred from her local cafe after she wrote a three-star online review.
She loved the coffee but her complaint was over the expensive food, with the harsh review enough to earn her a ban.
Many people agree the cafe went too far in banning her – and it turns out there is a proper solution.
Andrew Whitford is the founder of a Melbourne start-up called Removify. He told Andrew Dickens that it has been built to deal with this exact situation and help cafes get reviews that either go to far to are likely fake removed.
He says that they will assist the businesses go to the various platforms and act on their behalf. 
Whitford says that the reviews can be used by rival businesses or angry customers. 
"Definitely you get competitors using it to attack a rival. It can be a real person, but what they've ended up doing in their review is try to get some kind of revenge or extortion."

An economist says the focus should be on high value tourism, not just numbers.
Results out today from Air New Zealand and Auckland Airport are expected to take the pulse of the tourism industry.
NZIER principal economist, Christina Leung told Andrew Dickens it seems tourism has already peaked, with fewer business and holiday visitors, especially from China.
However, she says spending is holding up, particularly in the central North Island and Otago.
“The results highlight the need to move towards high value tourism, rather than just clipping the ticket.
“The number of tourists from China is reducing and there's a bit of easing across other countries. There is a serious risk of a downturn the tourism sector.”
LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW ABOVE

A group of protesters is setting off on a 17 kilometre march from Ihumatao to the Prime Minister's electoral office in Mount Albert.
Protestors will walk from Mangere to Mt Albert, to invite the Prime Minister to visit the contested land site in Auckland.
But Jacinda Ardern is in Wellington and won't be at her electoral office to meet the hikoi.SOUL leader Pania Newton told Andrew Dickens the offer remains open to the Prime Minister to visit Ihumatao.She says Ardern deserves to come and share in what's she's described as a 'watershed' moment in the nation's history.
"People will meet us along the way. There will still be a huge amount of people in attendance and we will still deliver our invitation."
LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW ABOVE

President Donald Trump has attacked Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, saying she had made "nasty" comments about his interest in having the United States purchase Greenland.
Trump announced Tuesday night that he was abruptly calling off a planned two-day state visit to Copenhagen next month over Frederiksen's refusal to entertain the sale of Greenland, a self-governing country that is part of the kingdom of Denmark.
Frederiksen told reporters Wednesday she was surprised by Trump's change in plans and also lamented the missed opportunity to celebrate the historic alliance between Denmark and the United States, saying preparations for the visit had been "well underway."

Denmark's Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen called President Donald Trump's idea "absurd". Photo / AP
Frederiksen called the idea of the sale of Greenland "absurd" over the weekend after news broke of Trump's interest - a characterisation that apparently offended him.
"I thought it was not a nice statement, the way she blew me off," Trump told reporters at the White House on Wednesday. "She shouldn't treat the United States that way... She said 'absurd.' That's not the right word to use."
Trump noted that others had also floated the idea of a US purchase of Greenland, including former president Harry Truman.
Trump's comments Wednesday struck a different tone than Tuesday night, when he said in a tweet that Denmark is "a very special country with incredible people" and he thanked Frederiksen for "being so direct."

....The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct. I thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the future!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 20, 2019
Speaking at a news conference in Copenhagen, Frederiksen said Trump's decision to cancel his trip would not "change the character of our good relations," adding that an invitation "for stronger cooperation on Arctic affairs still stands."
Her measured remarks stood in strong contrast with Danish lawmakers from across the political spectrum and former government ministers who slammed the president's behavior as juvenile, undiplomatic and insulting.
"It's an insult from a close friend and ally," Michael Aastrup Jensen, a member of the Danish parliament with the influential center-right Venstre party, told The Washington Post. He said Trump's interest in purchasing Greenland took the country by surprise and was initially widely considered to be a joke, before Danes realised the full extent of "this disaster."
Jensen said Danish lawmakers felt misled and "appalled" by the president, who "lacks even basic diplomatic skills," he said. "There was no word [ahead of time] about: 'I want to buy Greenland and that's why I'm coming.'"

President Donald Trump wanted to buy Greenland, saying owning the territory "would be nice" for the United States. Photo / AP
On Twitter, Denmark's former business minister, Rasmus Jarlov, wrote: "For no reason Trump assumes that (an autonomous) part of our country is for sale. Then insultingly cancels visit that everybody was preparing for."
"Please show more respect," he added.
Trump announced the postponement of his visit via Twitter on Tuesday night, writing that Denmark is "a very special country with incredible people," but adding that he had postponed his meeting with Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen after she said "that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland."
"The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct," Trump wrote. "I thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the future!"
The announcement came two days after Trump told reporters that owning Greenland "would be nice" for the United States strategically. Though...

A new scheme will see farmers able to get prescription medicines delivered.
The scheme's backers say the initiative is designed to help address high rates of mental illness and other conditions in rural areas.
According to recent research mental health disorders are prevalent among those living in rural regions with almost a fifth (18 per cent) of those surveyed seeking help in the past year.
Research has also found rates of chronic diseases, such as stroke and diabetes, are comparable to those living in urban areas; conditions which experts say can be addressed through better adherence to prescription medication.
Other research showed those living in rural regions of New Zealand often do not have their doctor's prescriptions filled, and will frequently forget to take their medication, which can contribute to poor long-term health outcomes.
Ministry of Health data has also found rural residents are less likely to visit their GP or pharmacist.
Under a new scheme, Federated Farmers has partnered with a health care service provider to ensure their more than 13,000 members will now have their prescription medicines delivered to their door, with a subsidised delivery charge - helping remove some of the barriers which may prevent them from accessing prescribed medication.
In addition to the delivery of their prescription medicines, a team of pharmacists will help monitor the patient's medication adherence and then phone to offer professional care and advice if they identify any issues that the patient might be having in taking their medicines correctly.
Prescriptions will be written by the prescribing GP or nurse and sent directly to the pharmacy for dispensing.
Federated Farmers CEO Terry Copeland said the initiative is part of a larger programme aimed at improving health outcomes for those living in rural areas.
"Having a facility that enables farmers to access pharmaceuticals and prescriptions securely is a real win for the rural community. Rural communities often suffer for choice when sourcing essential services, and Federated Farmers is proud to partner with a local service provider to help meet this aspect of their health care needs".
Pharmacist Din Redzepagic from Zoom Pharmacy, whose company will manage dispensing and delivery of the medication and monitor the patient's adherence to their prescription, said their research shows that farmers may not always follow their doctor's advice - which puts them at risk.
"Around a third (30 per cent) of those living in rural New Zealand that we surveyed say they received a prescription from a doctor which they didn't have filled at a chemist.
"Among the most common reasons for not having the script filled was that it was just too inconvenient to get there or they didn't have time (16 per cent) or that they were concerned about possible side effects (20 per cent); something that will be addressed under the new model where a pharmacist will proactively phone them to discuss any concerns.
"In addition, more than half (57 per cent) of those surveyed said they had forgotten to take their prescription medication at some stage," he says.
Redzepagic said they anticipate the new service model will provide long term health benefits for those living in rural areas and plan to expand the programme to include other parts of the community where access to medication is a barrier to health outcomes.