Louie’s therapist tells him his “direct communication” is actually defensiveness — and it sends him into an identity spiral. We talk about fear, softness, control, relationship triggers, autism traits, wanting to be chosen, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels like death.

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-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

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We dig into the messy reality of defensiveness, vulnerability, emotional expression, fear, control, and communication patterns inside relationships. Louie shares how his therapist told him that his “direct communication” is actually a defense mechanism, and the conversation spirals into emotional avoidance, softness, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels impossible.

We break down:

Why “direct communication” can actually be emotional defensiveness

How vulnerability gets blocked by masculinity, shame & fear

Autism traits, miscommunication, and not hearing what isn’t said

Wanting to be chosen, fear of losing connection, and relationship insecurity

Control vs. fear: trying to protect connection vs. micromanaging outcomes

How delivery affects emotional safety (soft vs. blunt communication)

Why asking for comfort feels like weakness

Emotional funks, depression cycles, ADHD patterns & medication fears

Relationship honesty, lying, guilt, and the messy ethics of confession

It’s raw, chaotic, vulnerable, funny, and painfully relatable — the perfect mix for a mental health, relationships, therapy talk podcast.

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