We've been sold a story about unconditional love that sounds beautiful on the surface and quietly costs us everything underneath. Stay no matter what. Forgive everything. Hold it together. Don't make it about you.

In this episode, I'm unpacking what unconditional love actually means, where it belongs, and where it doesn't. Because love and relationships are not the same thing, and confusing them is one of the most common ways that deeply loving, deeply generous people end up completely losing themselves.

This conversation came out of a recent client call and kept coming up as I dug deeper with others. So many people right now are reevaluating love after infidelity, divorce, or simply waking up one day and realizing they've been so devoted to the relationship they forgot to stay devoted to themselves.

This one is personal. I share openly about my own relationship, what I've learned walking through some significant challenges with my partner, and what became possible on the other side when we both showed up for the repair.

If you've been calling tolerance love, if you've been shrinking yourself to keep the peace, or if you've been so focused on loving everyone else that you stopped including yourself in that equation, this episode is for you.

Reflection prompts from this episode: Where are you mistaking tolerance for love? Where are you overextending yourself and calling it love? Do you only love yourself when you're performing? What does emotional safety actually look like for you? Can you love someone's humanity and still say no to their behavior? Can you love yourself while being honest and compassionate with yourself about your own patterns?

Resources mentioned: Brené Brown's work on shame and the definition of shame as the intensely painful belief that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging

Work with Lisa: If this episode stirred something up, it might be time for a check-in. You can apply to work with me directly at lisacarpenter.ca/wwm.

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