We lost a sweet family dog very unexpectedly this past week and it got me thinking a lot about life and how perceive our expectations...

A lot of tears, frustrations, and other emotions throughout that morning and a lot of my thoughts came back to the expectations or misexpectations we put on life circumstances.

Although Stella was older, we always forgot just how old she was because of how young and spry she always SEEMED. And in comparison, the other family dog, Levi—who is 2 years older than her— APPEARED old in every way. We have been expecting his “time” to come for about 2 years now… preparing mentally for it to happen at a moments’ notice.

For Stella, none of us were expecting she would go first, and none of us were expecting her to go like this. Playful and energetic right until the very end. If anyone had any concerns about it, some of my siblings and I would’ve made more of an effort to be with her in the last week. 

One sibling beating herself up over the fact that this dog was originally hers as a puppy, and she ALMOST came home to my parent's house last night, but had a change of plans, and for that reason didn’t get to see her one more time or be there when it happened.

How often do we have strong emotions come up in day to day life that wouldn’t be as strong if our expectations had just been aligned with the reality?

If we had expected to lose a dog in her older age today, after living a beautiful life, we probably would feel peaceful instead of distraught.

A tangible example for day to day life… how often do you go into the week thinking “I’m going to eat healthy, hit my macros, and go to the gym X times” but then work gets busy, you forget to track, you miss a workout, and then you think “this sucks” and feel upset? What if you spent some time going into the week planning as best you can for what you KNOW is on your plate— or even just being real with yourself if you have a career that can ramp up or down in busyness in a moment’s notice— and set really realistic expectations for the week, even if it’s not what you WANT the week to look like? 

Would you feel a lot better if you missed the gym? Probably. And just feeling slightly better can be the difference between you adjusting the plan and continuing to move forward vs. giving up on the plan and “starting over next week.”

I even felt this with a vacation recently… where I had labeled it as a “vacation” because we were going to Cancun, Mexico, and I had expectations of coming home feeling refreshed and relaxed because that’s what usually happens on beach vacations. But the reality is that this was not a vacation, but a time spent working remotely while also being with friends in Mexico outside of working. 

This led to resentment and frustration when working, feeling more physically run down because I wasn’t resting, and coming home with thoughts like “maybe I just shouldn’t have even gone”… yet if I had gone in with the right expectations, I still might’ve felt tired coming home, but I would’ve had thoughts like “it’s worth it because that was so fun, and how cool that I have a job where I can work remotely in beautiful places?!”

At the end of the day, if you’re not happy with the reality… it didn’t/isn’t matching your expectations… then you can either change your expectations or change your reality. But don’t sit between the middle indulging in really negative emotions when you are in control of the way you think about your situation. I’m not saying to just NOT feel negative emotions (trust me, I’m feeling them today), but I do think we can also choose to look at the “bright side.”

Listen in as we talk through this thought process together and RIP Stella. While I wish I could’ve hugged you one more time, I’m happy to know that it was quick, that a family member was home, and that you did live such a great life right up to the end.

Time Stamps:

(3:32) Losing A Family Pet

(6:52) Expectations and Our Feelings

(8:29) Your Expectations and Your Fitness Goals

(12:02) Managing Expectations and Reality

(19:42) The Power of Awareness

(23:22) Our Team at Vital Spark

(26:29) Working On Your Expectations

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