One of the most common things I hear from women is about how their desire has diminished throughout the course of their long-term, monogamous relationships, and that it may have even stopped altogether. For most of us, we have been brought up with a cultural narrative of the importance of securing that long-term relationship. And one of the ways in which we secure this relationship with our “person” is through sex. In this episode, I dive into the subconscious motivations for sex within a relationship, what it is that creates desire, and a prompt for self-reflection on why it is you want to tap into your desire and for doing this work.  

Topics in this episode 

• Pleasure is not measured in the same sense of achievement or milestones as other areas of our lives, making it difficult to find the motivation to invest in ourselves and our desires
• Motivation versus desire
• The biggest factor that keeps us from owning our pleasure
• We can’t enjoy sex more if we’re not having it in the first place
• When we have security and attachment, we have to look for another motivational system
• This isn’t something wrong with you. You aren’t broken.
• Desire comes from a want, and not a “should”.
• Ways to help yourself find your motivation

It has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. This is something I cannot stop thinking about, and I hope it will help you tap deeper into your “why” for doing your work on your sexuality and seeing all the ways it’s worthy of the effort. Next week we will talk more about the desire to have sex, and I can’t wait to chat with you then.