EP67: OVERCOMING FEAR WITH COURAGE: 5 Ways To Lean In & Create Your Story

Hello Chit Chatters!

Today's episode we're doing a little bit of reflecting. And I'm not trying to go back to the very beginning. But I'm trying to go back to thinking about the things that I think are most important and most valuable for people who listen to this podcast. And time and time again, whether I'm working with a coaching client or a student, or people who reach out to me about questions in regards to making a change in their life or doing something in regards to their career and not really quite sure how to do that. There's always this little part of themselves that's holding them back because of fear. And part of that is because we all have fear that we ultimately want to overcome. And one of the ways of overcoming fear is with courage. So the reason I say I want to go back and kind of reflect a little bit is because I think it's really important to reflect on the things that we've learned about ourselves, that ultimately we push through with courage and overcome those fears and obstacles. 

So for the first episode of season two, I want to dive into overcoming fears with courage, five steps to lean in with courage and overcome your fears. So these five steps are not anything that's new or unheard of, I want to put that out there. These are things that you could easily Google and find on the interweb to kind of help you feel more connected, more grounded and more clarified on what you can do to overcome your fears. Time and time again, what I've acknowledged and what I've learned as a coach is that mindset is everything! You need to try to be in a good  headspace and acknowledge what you're here to do, which is overcoming the fear obviously, but what is it that's causing you this fear in you? So you really need to take that moment to process that. 

 #1 Is acknowledging the fear, unpacking it, giving it the space, writing it down, and seeing what it is. 

#2 Is, get into the feelings of what the fear is giving you. How do you feel about it, when you think about it? What are the emotions that come up for you, when you're trying to process what the fear is, obviously, fear itself, being scared as an emotion, but take the opportunity to really understand what is causing you to feel the way you do. This is an opportunity to get a little bit vulnerable in this space of feeling your feelings about fear.

#3 Is what you really need to use as a mantra. Unpacking the story that you're telling yourself about the fear. And this is probably the most important out of the five, I think, because this is where we need to activate our senses and acknowledge that when we are scared about doing something 99% of the time, the reason we're so scared about doing it is because we're telling a story. And we're creating a limiting belief in our heads and in our bodies, that we keep acknowledging as to why we can't do certain things or a certain task or achieve a certain goal or objective. It's all about changing the narrative of the story.It's about telling yourself, you're totally capable of doing everything you want to achieve. Changing the story and acknowledging the story is what's going to help you overcome the fear. There's a lot of self awareness, acknowledging your emotions, paying attention to what the emotions are, and making sure that you're shifting what the story is. 

#4 is writing the new story that you're going to tell yourself from overcoming this fear. And what this means essentially is You're making a choice to move beyond the limiting belief, and creating a new story to help you unpack and uncover what you're trying to achieve. This is really, really important. It's just as important as acknowledging that limiting belief in the story you're telling yourself, because when you think about fear, you're scared because you're you don't want to fail at something. But the reality is, we all live with failure. No one is successful without failing. And what I think most people are always scared about is the idea of failing. But there's so much growth that comes from failing, that people don't always look at the positive outcome, when you fail at something, because you're just creating a new opportunity for yourself, to wipe away what you learned, and start fresh.

#5 Is to create a plan. What plan are you going to actualize? Are you going to create something that is going to help you not go back to step one, and help you not feel like you're living in fear? What is it that you're going to write down and map out to help you take action? How are you going to use the courage that you created for yourself, and in the story, and writing that news story, to lean into that, that courage, and making that plan. One of the things that people often find and are challenged by when it comes to overcoming fear, and leaning in with courage is that we all live with the fear of failing. And part of that is that we sabotage ourselves based on the story that's in our heads. When you write a plan down and you create reasonable, actionable strategies and goals. And when I say reasonable meaning like okay, don't give yourself more, don't bite off more than what you want, you can show, be really self aware of how much you can take on to get you to that goal. No one's rushing you. It's not a race, you're the only one that can hold you accountable for that. And if you want someone to hold you accountable with it, and help you unpack it more than hire a coach, that's what career and life coaches do. We're here to hold people accountable for the things they're trying to achieve, and help clarify an impact. unpack what it is that they're having a challenge with. Sometimes it goes as deep as going back to things that are impacting their childhood, sometimes it goes back to all the failures that aren't allowing people to want to overcome what it is they're meant to be doing. It's really, really important that you are self aware, self reflective, and you provide the opportunity to hold yourself accountable. Make that plan, create goals that you can visualize and see and that will be achievable, that are not going to allow you to fail. And if you fail, guess what, get yourself back up and start over again. Because you can learn from those mistakes and be able to reach the next place you want to go. 

I want to read you a quote. And this one happens to be a quote from one of my planners. It's actually a Bible quote. And it comes from Isaiah 60:1. And it says, “rise up in splendor and be radiant for your light has dawned and your ways glory now star from you”. What does this mean? This means that you have the ability to rise up time and time again, regardless of what happened in your past, regardless of what's holding you back, to show up for yourself, unconditionally and wholeheartedly in a place and a space and a time that you control the story of what it is you want to do and tall and say, you just need to look deep down in yourself and know that you can, and know that you're capable, I know that you're worthy.

Love & Light

José Miguel

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