We were asked if we could talk about the physics of spanking. Well, who better to consult than an actual physicist who is ALSO an actual spanko?

Our friend, Al Doyle, sat down with us at GASP 2025 to give us a lesson in the physics of spanking. We even sat down to work out the math to see if we could finally get an answer to the age-old question: does a paddle with holes hurt more than a paddle without holes?

From Newton's apple, to Einstein's theories, to the earth falling upwards, "Professor" Doyle blows our minds with science while answering some pre-arranged questions, all while on the journey to the ultimate answer about the pain of the paddles. We even discuss a few topics that may require further experimentation. But all the while, we laugh and have fun like always.

We discuss basic physics concepts, a couple of formulas, and even how much you weigh jumping off a building to get us to the mathematical conclusion of… well, you'll just have to listen to find out!

This might be our most technical episode yet! You may want to take notes. There may be a test!