At the age of 11 or 12 Nia saw something happen that many Jehovah’s Witnesses see, one of the teenagers in her congregation was disfellowshipped. But what she also experienced was her mother’s reaction, a reaction that lacked care or compassion for the person that was now seen as lost, a reaction that lacked any real care for Nia as well. “Don’t you EVER embarrass me the way she embarrassed her mother!” And there you have a relationship summed up in one quick remark, a relationship that would leave Nia trying desperately to earn her mother’s love, a love that should be natural and without conditions based on a particular cult belief system, but a love that Jehovah’s Witnesses lack. If a person has to earn that love through performance based measures in a cult, that love can just as easily be lost. In this episode you’ll follow Nia’s journey from a little girl trying to earn her mother’s love to a woman learning to love herself.

The new song that Nia chose to represent her story is Pray by Sam Smith.

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You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.

This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app or on YouTube. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.

Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself.