Maximize Your Influence

Episode 50 - Quickly Build Rapport


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After giving some nots so great (and un-licesned) legal advice, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent study about "moral code." Individuals are more likely to compromise their morals when they are in a group setting. We do this because we feel more anonymous and less responsible. This is all intuitive. But keep in mind, this means that persuading a group is a lot different than persuading one on one. As group numbers increase, we often see "mob mentality" set in. This has a negative connotation but when persuading you can use mob mentality to your advantage.

This epsidoe continues into a debate as to whether there is a difference between rapport and people skills. Kurt wins the debate as he often does. People skills is being able to get a long with somebody and keep things amiable. Rapport is deeper connection that makes us feel like we've known somebody our whole lives. When we have rapport, we have a relationship that lasts a long time and that generates favorable persuasion and negotiation results. While rapport might be difficult to define...we know what it is when we see it or feel it.

Kurt and Steve continue by discussing some of the things that are evident when there is a strong rapport. This includes relaxed body language, mirrored body language, physical touch, eye contact, and smiling (the real kind that you can see in the eyes). One of the biggest blunders people make when they have rapport is to change their demenaor once they ask for "money." This shatters rapport and is one of the top complaints about sales people.

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Maximize Your InfluenceBy Kurt Mortensen

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