"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)

Episode 76: When Exhausting Relationships Take Up Time


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In this episode, I'm talking about the "laziness lie" from Dr. Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and how believing you're lazy if you don't help people can quietly destroy your boundaries. I get into why some relationships leave you exhausted, how over-helping actually keeps people stuck, and what it looks like to start pulling back in small, realistic ways. For ad-free episodes out a day early, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Thursday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annually. You'll get to suggest episode ideas as well!

Join Jen's New Co-Work Community online! I started something called ☕️The Co-Work Community. It's an online co-working (aka body doubling) space & community for neurodivergent humans! There are other online co-working spaces but where else can you do your work, tasks, or chores with other neurodivergent people and ME, every single day for just $12 a month? Answer? Nowhere! Try it out. You'll become addicted AND you're supporting a neurodivergent solopreneur woman-owned start-up business.

Sources For This Episode

  1. Episode 40: How to Set Boundaries as an Adult with ADHD

  2. Episode 41: The ADHD and People Pleasing Connection

  3. Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price (20% off with this link)

  4. Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price (20% off with this link)

  5. Unmasking For Life by Dr. Devon Price (20% off with this link)

  6. Unlearning Shame by Dr. Devon Price (20% off with this link)

Shop Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts)

Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link!x

Little Ouchies - Self Regulation Stim Tools! I LOVE my Little Ouchies. I use them daily when I'm working, writing, thinking, and it really helps me to stay in the moment by regulating my nervous system. I tend to ruminate with Imposter Syndrome when I'm in deep work. It's also just fun and feels good, so even watching TV or other mindless activities are made more stimulating by rolling one in my hands. Get 10% off with this link and use ALOT10 at checkout!

Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link.

Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires).

The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast.

The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order.

Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN.

Bearaby - Weighted Blankets, Warmables, Stress Pillows I LOVE my Bearaby cooling weighted blankets, the weighted and warmable lap lounger, I need their products daily to regulate and relax. Their products are built to calm the body down and support a. natural sleep cycle.

UnHide - Weighted Faux Fur Blankets, Pillows, Plush Home Goods I LOVE my UnHide faux fur weighted blankets, my squish pillows and my backrest that is always on my bed for my sitting up in bed working days. Get 20% off everything with my link and JENNIFER at checkout.

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"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)By Jen Kirkman

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