One reason that people are attracted to cults is that they are looking for stability in life. They may feel vulnerable and are looking for answers, something to hold on to that allows them to leave their troubles behind. Unfortunately the reality of what cults offer is nothing more than a surface level illusion of stability covering over deep dysfunction, beliefs that people use as an escape for their problems. It is like quicksand. It looks like firm ground but once you take the first step things just slowly get worse and worse.

Stephanie grew up in a somewhat chaotic environment. She could be found beating her dolls while "playing meeting" because the dolls weren't listening. At fourteen her father started suffering from mental issues that altered his view of reality at times. Her home wasn't stable from the environment in it to where she physically lived, even moving in with another family at eighteen. Then in her pursuit of stability she would look for it in marriage and find anything but that. Disfellowshipped three times, Stephanie finally realized that what she was seeking could only truly be found in another life and she had to go find it.

The song that Stephanie chose to represent her journey is Praying by Kesha.

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This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app or on YouTube. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.

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Music by Fair Voyeur entitled "No Hell Yet".