October 09, 2018

Eps 161: Solo Show About Navigating Depression and Anxiety

41 minutes

Solo show – sharing from personal experience

Recap what is happening with my teenager

If you listened last year, you heard the struggle

Online school

Clients I’ve worked with

Friends confiding in their experience

What the stats say

My experience of finding information

What my gut tells me

The ways the world has changed

Why it’s so hard

Weight of fear/possible outcomes

Lack of control

Our own stories

PD is belonging and significance

Power of perception

What do we do when something feels “wrong” without giving message that they need to be fixed

The challenge of meeting them where they’re at

My experience with this….

Not knowing what this means

The dance of acting/fixing vs validating/being

The iceberg

Tip of the iceberg

They won’t talk, can’t identify what’s “wrong”, tears, withdrawal, aggression/defiance/anger, shut us out

Grades/friends/activities

Bad after school special

Under the surface

Hopelessness/fear/not know what or how they are feeling

Feelings of disconnection

Out of control

Anxiety/depression

The range….

Not all or nothing

Grey areas

Our own beliefs about mental health

My experience, looking back I was afraid to call it what it was because it made it true

My upbringing of not using things (family drama) as a “crutch” messaging

Enmeshment/codependency

I am going to get really vulnerable and highlight something that I see showing up because of the dynamics that are currently alive in my family

My experience with needing approval – give me the gold star, tell me how great I am

Wanting it from my family, especially my dad and step mom

Now noticing that I am searching for it from my daughter

NO BUENO

Getting spiritual

Carolyn Myss

My experience of energy work in the context of my relationship with Rowan

Life happens for us, so…. This is an experience that is happening for me? For Rowie?

Acknowledging my controlling tendencies and the message it sends

Letting go/backing off

Having a plan (with school) about what I will and won’t do with a request

Treatment

Counseling, naturopath, energy work – this is what WE are doing

You do you. Make choices for your kids.

Listen to your kids. Listen deeply. Hear without fixing

Ask permission

Give them space and trust they will come to you

Don’t be afraid to go big if things feel really off

Ask hard questions

GET SUPPORT

TALK TO EACH OTHER

Quit dismissing teens by saying “everyone feels that way” because even if it’s true this is not what they need to hear – they NEED to feel seen and heard

Check your expectations at the door, accept that this is a part of your parenting story

Take care of yourself

Check your codependency

GET HELP – if your gut tells you that what is happening with your child is extreme, seek help.

I say this to you and to myself. We will get to the other side of this, my friends. And only we get to decide if we get to GO through this time of our lives, or if we GROW through it.

Thank you to all of you parents of teens, those of you who are personal friends who have been brave enough to be in conversation with me, clients, listeners – you are not alone.

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By Casey O'Roarty

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