everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

Today was the last day of IMMERSE, my year-long group programme, and I’m still feeling the tenderness of that ending. In our final session, one of the group said, quite simply, that change is not linear. It stayed with me, and that’s where this episode began.

It sent me back to one of the earliest poems I wrote for My Darling Girl, from the very start of my own long and winding experience of change. It’s a poem about the estuary: the rise and fall of the tide, the times we’re left stranded high and dry, and the times we’re swept somewhere we never expected to go. I read it to you here, and then sit with what it stirs.

There’s a lot in this one I think I needed to hear myself. It touches on what happens when we drift up into our heads, the treasure we gather along the way, and a small silver necklace that reminds me I can be both the river and the tree.

If the poem speaks to something in you, perhaps a change you’re in the middle of or one you’ve recently come through, I’d love to hear.

If you’re curious about IMMERSE, the new cohort begins towards the end of November. It’s a small group, travelling together through a year of deep work with The Heart of Change. Do get in touch if it calls to you.

Discover more about Immerse

Today we're looking back to look forward - and I'm announcing the new podcast name. I'm not completely clear how these two things are related but I expect they are! This is still the same podcast, the same space, now naming its essence: everyday compassion with Henny Flynn.

As today's episode unfolded, the three threads that emerged:

• I reflect on what it means to look back in order to look forward - not as nostalgia, and not as a refusal to move on, but as a discerning kind of attention. 
• I share a conversation with my husband Anton over thirty years ago, sitting on a bench in Nottingham, where one of us said 'this feels more like a separation than a divorce' - and how being willing to look back changed the whole course of both our lives.
• I think out loud about a kind of discarding I notice in the world - how easily we decide an idea, a relationship, versions of ourselves, as though they no longer hold value simply because it belongs to the past. And how often what gets presented as something new is really something old, rediscovered. I'd love to know whether that resonates with you, or whether you see it differently.

And I share that A piece of quiet is itself a living example of all this - a practice I created, let go of, and am now bringing back as something free and live, every Monday at 6.30pm (UK), starting this coming Monday.

Henny x

Resources & Ways of Connecting

• To join A piece of quiet... every Monday, 6.30pm UK, free - https://hennyflynn.kit.com/14116fc6c3
• To discover Immerse... grounded in The Heart of Change - https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/immerse
• On the Hilary Mantel novel... A Place of Greater Safety, if you'd like to find it for yourself (I loved this book)
• Tell me what resonated... I'd love to hear what landed for you - https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/contact

It's been a busy week, and I'm recording this a little bit tired, but happy.

As today's episode unfolded, there were three threads that appeared:

• The life imitating art moment when my co-host Grace's camera failed, right as we were about to deliver a free lunch and learn on the nervous system at work - and how these moments in life can become live, real-time demonstrations of the very thing we seeking to learn (or teach)
• I also share three simple techniques for vagal toning that came up in today's session - a gentle hold at the back of the neck, a hand resting on the heart, and a gentle press at the inner corners of the eyebrows. And I leave you with a question: what actually nourishes your nervous system when it's activated, rather than simply soothing or numbing it?
• Lastly, if this work on the nervous system resonates for you, I share a little about a four-week course Grace and I are running together, starting 5 November, on understanding the language of your own nervous system.

Henny x

Resources & Ways of Connecting

• To find out more about the-nervous-system-at-work-4-week-course-with-henny-flynn-and-grace-loveday we begin Thursday 5 November
• To join the mailing list... hennyflynn.co.uk/contact for all the free things, including this podcast 

I hadn't planned this episode - it seems to be the way, these days - it arrived instead, out of a small, quite ordinary battle with a piece of technology that simply wouldn't cooperate - and the frustration that came with it.

As today's episode unfolded, there were three threads that appeared:

• What happens when something feels hard - not the BIG moments but those small things that thwart us - frustrating, annoying, irritating - and the choices we might forget we have
• How trying to enforce 'unenforceable rules' can lead us to 'pushing on through', when perhaps something else might serve the situation better
• And I share my new book, everyday compassion (365 days of ordinary kindness), is published on 22 September. Pre-orders are open now, and I would love to inscribe a copy for you, or for someone you love.

Henny x

Resources & Ways of Connecting

• To order everyday compassion... https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/everyday-compassion
• To discover The Field... https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/enter-the-field
• Share where you go... when things feel like they're thwarting you, I'd love to hear https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/contact

The response to last week's episode about fairy tales and voice notes has been extraordinary - so many of you shared your own stories with me, and I wanted to spend this episode reflecting on what came through, and inviting you a little deeper into mine.

There are three threads running through today's conversation:

• I share the fuller story behind my own fairy tale - Little Red Riding Hood - including a sculpture that changed how I related to a part of myself I used to call anger, and how that part has since transformed from a black dog into a grey wolf who watches over me from the hillside.
• I reflect on some of the fairy tales you shared with me - Rapunzel, The Happy Prince, Parsifal, the Magic Porridge Pot and more - and what might be sitting underneath each one.
• And I share a little about the Weekend of No-Requirements, the retreat I'm running with Adam Lind this October - a space where nothing is required of you at all.

Henny x

Resources & Ways of Connecting

• Discover the Weekend of No-Requirements... with Adam Lind, 16-19 October 
• On animal parts work... if this resonates, Charlie Mackesy's The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse and Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS) are both beautiful places to go deeper
• Explore Paul Smith's sculptures  
• Missed the fairy tale question... listen to last week's episode S21E1
• Share the Animal Parts who show up for you... by email, on YouTube, or through the contact form

After our pause, I'm returning to a new season - literal and metaphorical. It's lovely to be back and to feel into what is asking to be shared. As I opened the channel for today's conversation, two themes began flowing through this episode.

I reflect on connection - between writer and reader, speaker and listener, self and self - and I ask a question I'd love you to sit with: what fairy tale from your childhood has stayed with you, and what might it be reflecting back?

I also share a new way I've been thinking about voice notes: the way they allow us to communicate - to connect - even more freely with each other. Inspired by a friend... who was in her turn inspired by another beautiful human.

Lastly I share a little about Season Two of The Field. If you're curious about intentional change, grounded in compassionate self-enquiry, then perhaps it's a space that calls to something within you. You would be so welcome there.

Henny x

Resources & Ways of Connecting

• On voice memos... from Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley - Can I send you a voice memo - with gratitude for the inspiration
• To discover more about The Field... the gate closes for Season Two on 9 September
• Share the fairytale that speaks to you... I would love to share the reflections that might arise

A bonus episode for those who prefer listening to reading... or enjoy both.

This is an audio version of the email going out today, in preparation for my annual August break. It includes a reflection on what this time of 'Summering' can mean and hold for each of us, a poem on holidays as holy days and a few things to explore during August...

As ever it is shared with love.

The podcast will be back in September. Speak with you soon.
Henny x

​PODCAST​

If you’ve already heard them all 225 episodes, try scrolling and randomly stopping for a podcast lucky dip. It can be amazing to see how new insights emerge when you listen to something again.

And... if you've subscribed to the podcast (please do!), you may have already heard I've recorded this whole email as a bonus episode, just in case you prefer listening to reading.

​FLOW JOURNALING​

See the Flow Journaling Guides in Circle. And if you want a lovely practice for the summer, get a copy of my book ​In the Flow - journal your inner wisdom​, buy it anywhere or use FLOW for 30% off, direct from my publishers.

​Mini-self-guided Courses​

Free and low cost courses to expand thinking and deepen compassionate self-enquiry. A lovely way to spend time with your Self and see what they bring you.

A bonus episode inspired by a voice note from a friend, all about... Inspiration

This is a stepping stone into a topic I find fascinating: where does inspiration come from? 

I talk about...

• Inspiration as external flow, not internal genius - Touching on our potential to shift from Renaissance thinking (genius lives in the person) back to classical understanding (the muse is 'something other') 
• Flow states as the channel - Writing, creating, journaling, problem-solving... how when we drop out of cognitive thinking, ideas emerge that we couldn't have accessed through effort alone.
• Inspiration as an embodied experience - Noticing how it can arrive mid-drive, drop from the sky, rise from the belly. And how it can have a physical presence that might feel like it demands action - you have to capture it, write it down... or it passes through.
• Universal love is easy (but human love can feel so complex) - The essence beneath the messages in everyday compassion. And the story of how they arrived.
• And invitation to share your inspiration - I'm inviting you to send me your questions, your challenges, your curiosities. What would you love to explore here on the podcast? I'll take the list and choose at random, live on air... and see where that takes us.

With love (and gratitude for the inspiration!)

FLOW JOURNALING PROMPTS

• When I feel the hand of inspiration...
• When I hear the voice of inspiration...

PRE-ORDER

• everyday compassion - published September 2026 https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/everyday-compassion

REFERENCES

• Elizabeth Gilbert TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_your_elusive_creative_genius

Today we're looking at the third and final aspect of resilience that's been running through the last few episodes of this season: the inner critic. That voice inside us that can feel like our worst enemy - and yet, like all our parts, is just trying to do the important job it believes it's here to do.

In this reflective episode, you'll hear:

• How the inner critic forms - often from experiences when we were very young - and it's role in our beliefs about how resilient we are
• Why turning toward these voices with compassion can lead to deeper resilience than trying to close them down
• The practice of "dispassionate compassion" - observing what's hard without either collapsing into it or dismissing it
• How parenting ourselves (by modelling love) teaches our Parts that there can be a different way
• When we stand rooted in the ground rather than placing ourselves on some impossible pedestal, we can see what true self-compassion  looks like

This is the final episode of this season, before the summer break.

I also announce the publication of a beautiful new book... everyday compassion - available for pre-order now

Settle in and see where the episode takes you.

Balancing Authenticity with Self-Protection and Resilience - In Conversation with Adam Lind

Today I'm joined by Adam Lind, author of Floating Home, for the second of our three-part deep dive on resilience.

We explore what happens when we feel we need to mask our true selves - and the difference between masking (an unconscious survival strategy) and performative behaviour (a more conscious choice about how we show up). We also discuss compartmentalisation: how we can temporarily set things aside to function, and when that strategy risks becoming unhealthy.

The most important aspect of this whole conversation is that there is no 'one right response' to our experience of the world. All these strategies and behaviours are deeply, truly human. And we are all learning how to navigate what life reveals to us, in our own way, in our own time.

You'll hear:

• How masking can show up in any environment where we don't feel safe - and why it can be exhausting
• The difference between masking, performative behaviour, and compartmentalisation - all strategies that can look like resilience from the outside (or feel like resilience from the inside)
• Why authenticity and unmasking can perhaps begin to feel more resilient than protecting ourselves has done in the past
• Boundaries as the foundation of compassion - and how clear boundaries enable resilience
• How Adam refuses to mask, even when it's socially awkward - and what that costs and gains him
• The paradox: we need both authenticity AND the ability to protect ourselves
• Why self-trust comes from honouring our own boundaries

Adam and I are also co-creating a retreat in October. The Weekend of No Requirements, 16-19 October 2026 is a space where you can show up exactly as you are.
Find out more here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/the-weekend-of-no-requirements

Settle in and see where this conversation takes you.