everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

I'm back in my kitchen - this really feels like the place to speak to you - and I've been thinking this week about the juxtaposition between joy and pain, between the bitter and the sweet.

It's something that came up in a conversation I had recently, and something that's been arising in the Gratitude Quest. So I thought we could reflect on that together today.

In this episode, I explore:

• How we learn to make space for both joy and pain within us - not as a meme of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' but as a genuine capacity
• Why cacao is a beautiful representation of the balance of bitter and sweet
• A blessing I received from a wonderful teacher: 'I see you in your pain and your magnificence'
• My own journey of believing I could only hold joy or pain, never both — and how I chose joy as my raison d'être, which became unsustainable
• The devastating period of grief when I told Anton 'I feel as though I'm never going to smile again'
• Getting really ill ten years ago and beginning to understand what would truly serve me
• The awakening - deep, deep, deep down in the bowels of my belly - that I have the capacity to hold joy and pain simultaneously
• An invitation to feel into where you are on this journey, and to know this capacity exists simply because of our humanity

I close with a poem from My darling girl that I don't often share, but that appeared when I opened the book today. It speaks to the expansiveness of a heart that has space for every part of us.

I also share details about two offerings: 

• The Weekend of No Requirements 16-19 October (a luxurious retreat in Herefordshire with no requirements upon you to be anything other than how you feel) 
• and Awakening Hopes and Dreams, a small group course beginning 26 March, 12.00-1.15pm (UK).

Settle in, and see where the episode takes you.

I woke early this morning to check the technology for the Gratitude Quest, and found myself reading the gratitudes people have been sharing. The experience of reading them - particularly responses to today's prompt about sensation and touch - became the inspiration for what I want to share with you today.

I'm in my kitchen, in the big comfy chair by the warm Aga, Ronnie at my feet (until he gets bored and wanders off). The air is a little chilly on my skin, and I can hear the birds outside. This feels like a warm, reflective place - which is always my preference for recording.

In this episode, I explore:

• How noticing the sensations of our body - texture, temperature, weight - can reconnect our head with our body, especially when we've been conditioned to separate from bodily experience
• Why many of us learn to dull feelings, sensations, and emotions (because they feel scary, dangerous, or simply too complicated)
• The experience of hypersensitivity and what I call 'the veil' - when my skin feels porous and other people's emotions get through
• The ancient Celtic concept of 'thin places' - where the barriers thin and we become more alert to what's outside and inside us
• How naming what we notice becomes a powerful grounding practice, used by everyone from therapists teaching RAIN to surgeons managing stress
• A memory of having a panic attack on a muddy Welsh hillside at Water Breaks Its Neck, and how I talked myself through it by naming what I was noticing
• Why gratitude practice is fundamentally about naming, and how it trains us to scan for joy rather than threat

Nearly 300 people are now following the Gratitude Quest, and I'm witnessing something beautiful in the way people are naming their experiences and being heard.

A quick note: you might notice the podcast is being recorded and released on Saturday mornings at the moment rather than early Saturday. It's very field-to-fork - or perhaps thought-to-ear, heart-to-heart. This feels immediate to me, and I'm allowing myself freedom with the podcast as I always do. Normal service might resume, or it might not. We'll see.

Settle in, and see where this takes you.

The Field Note on the Science of Gratitude: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/field-notes/gratitude-practice-science 

Finding Gratitude in Simple Sounds

I'm back home after my travels, and you might be able to hear the tiny waterfall that pours into the brook along the edge of our land. Maybe you can hear the birds too.

This is a short episode about beginning with what's around us - sounds, objects, small moments - and how these simple things can become doorways to gratitude.

In this episode, I explore:

• Why starting with sounds can be a powerful way into gratitude, especially when life feels hard
• The beautiful science of birdsong and why it activates our sense of safety
• How building the muscle of gratitude isn't about toxic positivity or fake-it-till-you-make-it
• A memory from when our son was seven, travelling through France and Spain in a camper van, and how the woman I was then believed she couldn't stop working
• Why trusting our body's need for rest is itself an act of gratitude

I also share details about the Quest for Gratitude - now over 200 people have joined for this free 21-day practice beginning February 26th. We'll gather on Zoom at 7pm UK time to explore the science and practice of gratitude, do a deep relaxation, and journal together. Then 21 days of simple prompts and shared practice.

Before you finish listening, pause and notice: what can you hear right now? What can you see? What can you touch? What's something you're grateful for?

Settle in, and see where it takes you.

 
JOIN THE QUEST: 21 Days of Gratitude -  a free 21-day practice beginning Thursday February 26th, 7pm (UK), with a gathering on Zoom.
  
And, if you're curious to receive weekly notes of compassion, take a look at everyday ♡ compassion

I recorded this episode, wrapped in a duvet at a friend's house - you can hear my voice still finding its morning register. I'm away from home seeing friends and family. Understanding my intentions for being here resonates with the question I'd love to explore today: what is it I'm calling in by being here?

It's a question with layers - geographical and existential, practical and profound.

In this episode, I explore:

• How we might recognise what we've called into our lives, both consciously and unconsciously, and how to hold that awareness without falling into self-criticism or toxic positivity
• The difference between feeling overwhelmed by fullness and recognising the value in what's arriving
• Rumi's wisdom from 'The Guest House' and what it means to welcome everything as a guide
• My curious relationship with manifestation, and why I prefer thinking about clear intentions and trusting our capacity to care for ourselves through whatever arises
• Whether creation begins with thoughts or feelings (spoiler: I think my body knows before my head catches up)
• The thread of gratitude running through it all, and why noticing what we're grateful for helps rewire our negativity bias

Settle in, and see where this conversation takes you.
With love, Henny

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

The Language We Use With Ourselves

Just before heading out to meet friends, I caught myself in a small moment of self-judgement: 'I'm meant to be ready already.' It's such familiar territory, isn't it? That subtle criticism we layer onto ourselves throughout the day. Recognising that moment sparked some thoughts... that led to this episode, exploring:

• How our self-talk is a vital part of our self-care practice, shaping not only how we see ourselves but how we expect others to see us
• The origins of our inner critic — recognising whose voice we're really hearing when we speak harshly to ourselves
• The difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, and why compassion doesn't mean condoning all our behaviours
• A simple journaling prompt that can reveal what shifts when we speak to ourselves with kindness
• How the way we relate to ourselves ripples outward into how we show up in the world

This is lived work, and I share my own recent experience with the 'vulnerability boomerang' after launching my new website — a reminder that even when we teach this work, we're always practicing it too.

If you'd like to explore that journaling prompt, try writing these words at the top of your page, and see where they take you:
When I Speak Kindly to Myself, I See...

Currently… my work is centred around:

Thoughtful connection, including live gatherings and courses, gently shared through my mailing list - join to hear more https://hennyflynn.kit.com/profile

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

In this episode, I share something very personal.

As part of a quiet spell of sorting and clearing, Anton unearthed our wedding book — filled with photographs and handwritten messages from many years ago. Inside it was a poem my mother wrote and read at our wedding.

This episode isn’t about making changes or doing deep inner work.
It’s about love — how we see it, how we live with it, and the stories we carry about what it is.

I read the poem in full and let it speak for itself. You might choose to listen once. Or you might find yourself listening again.

With love.

Currently… my work is centred around:

Thoughtful connection, including live gatherings and courses, softly shared through my mailing list - join to hear more https://hennyflynn.kit.com/profile

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

Sometimes we arrive at a decision we fully own - and still find ourselves unsure of whether to take the big step that makes the change happen.

In this episode, I explore the tipping point from preparation into activation - and the kind of care these sliding door moments ask of us.

We explore:

• What it means when the change is ours - not driven by external circumstances
• The inner scale of decisions - how something can feel enormous inside us, even if it looks “small” from the outside
• How to stay with uncertainty with compassion - without minimising what matters to us
• The brain’s pull toward the status quo - and how stress, tiredness, and overload affect decision-making
• A simple journaling practice for seeing the real impact of a decision - including our hopes, fears, and the unknown

If you’re standing on a threshold right now, settle in - and see what this takes you.

With love.

Currently… my work is centred around:

• Creating Change with Compassion — a small group, 4-week course using group discussion, insight and Flow Journaling - explore it here https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/creating-change-with-compassion-tickets-1374142018769?aff=oddtdtcreator

For thoughtful connection, including live gatherings and courses, softly shared through my mailing list - join to hear more https://hennyflynn.kit.com/profile

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

As we step into a new year, this episode explores the quiet clarity that can emerge when we move with both energy and deliberation.

In this reflective, stream-of-consciousness episode, I share a short piece of writing that arrived unexpectedly — and then open it up gently, listening for what wants to be heard.

You’ll hear reflections on:

• The juxtaposition between energy and deliberation — and how this can feel like clarity rather than conflict
• Strengthening the energetic trails that genuinely draw our attention
• Choosing discernment over momentum, alignment over urgency
• Letting go without attachment — even when something once felt right
• Trusting the wisdom that grows underground, in the dark, before it reaches the light

I also share a simple Flow Journaling prompt — “As I listen ever more closely…” — as an invitation to notice what might be asking for your attention, and what may be ready to be laid down with gratitude.

For now, let this be enough.

With love.

Currently…

At the moment, my work is centred around:

• A Piece of Quiet — a private weekly practice of listening, reflection, and Flow Journaling - hear the first three episodes here https://apieceofquiet.transistor.fm/ 
• Occasional live gatherings and courses, softly shared through my mailing list - you can join that here https://hennyflynn.kit.com/profile

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

I wasn’t planning to begin a new season of the podcast just yet — and yet something called me back.

So this feels like a bonus episode. A moment of reconnection. A gentle hello.

In this short reflection, I share what’s been feeling most present for me as we move through this season — particularly the intertwining of kindness and boundaries, and how deeply they belong together.

I explore:

• Why boundaries often come into sharper focus at this time of year
• How clarity can be an act of kindness — to ourselves and others
• The quiet confidence that comes from knowing what feels OK, and what doesn’t
• The beauty of honouring each other’s needs with attention and care

There’s no fixing or teaching here — just a naming of what feels alive, and an invitation to notice what might be asking for your attention too.

I’ll be back with a new season in the new year.
 For now, this is a pause, a bridge, and a warm hello.

With love.

Currently…

At the moment, my work is centred around:

• A Piece of Quiet — a private weekly practice of listening, reflection, and Flow Journaling - hear the first three episodes here https://apieceofquiet.transistor.fm/ 
• Occasional live gatherings and courses, softly shared through my mailing list - you can join that here https://hennyflynn.kit.com/profile

You can find everything I offer here: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

As this series draws to a close - and as the podcast quietly passes its 200th episode - I’ve found myself reflecting on silence.

In this episode, I explore:

• The richness of silence as presence rather than absence
• The way how we journey and arrive can shape our capacity for stillness
• What it means to land — in our bodies, our lives, and the earth itself
• The tenderness of being alone and being cared for
• The healing spaciousness that silence offers

Recorded from the warmth - and silence - of my kitchen, this conversation flows gently between reflections on retreat, stillness, and the quiet companionship of being with ourselves.

If silence feels like something you’re seeking - or perhaps avoiding - this may be a space to listen in and see what it reveals.

With love.

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